Things that should never happen
by DesireeBoils
Summary: Desiree' had been living a normal life, when something unexpected happened that had her travel back through time and meet Erik, though it was nothing like she had ever dreamed of before, it was something much worse, will she find her way back?
1. Gone Back in Time

**Disclaimer: If you recognize anything, then I don't own it.**

Chapter 1

I angrily hung up the phone with Allura, my sister. I was sprawled out on the end of my bed and kicked out in anger, which didn't do much since I was lying on my back. The injustice of it all! How fair was it that my husband's family didn't like me? This has been going on for more than four years now, but I love my husband and my daughter. I couldn't imagine life without them, I have already had too many losses in my life, I will not loose them.

I get off the bed and pick up Paige who was peeking at me from the doorway and carry her to the front room where my husband, Chad sat watching television.

"Do you feel better?" Chad asked me.

I huffed. "No I don't feel better, Allura only helped fuel my fire. What did you say to Clayton when he called you?"

"I didn't say anything, I was in shock!" Chad said with a laugh.

I rolled my eyes. It's just like him to laugh when I'm upset, it's his 'defense mechanism' or so he tells me.

"Well you need to tell your mother and step-dad to lay off, they are not raising Paige, we are. She is our daughter and they need to mind their boundaries and stop telling us how to live our lives."

"Can't you just forget about it, you can't win. They are always right, and we are always wrong, that's how it has been my whole life." Chad said solemnly.

"Well I'm tired of just laying by; you know I'm not a quiet person by nature and to just keep my piece is draining me. It just let's your family know that they say and do is acceptable, and it's not!"

"Honey I know, we just can't take Paige over to mom and Clayton's house anymore."

"Yeah, and tell them not to come over here anymore. I'm tired of having Ann, and Clay come over to my house. If Clayton wants' to lecture me about being a bad mom, he should look at how he raises Clay. Look, I don't want to argue anymore. Just talk to your mom okay?"

Chad nodded his head. I picked up Paige, who was getting into stuff she knew she shouldn't be getting into.

I took her back to her room and changed her diaper and took the short overalls off and her onesie, and put a clean onesie on her, it was too hot for footie pajamas.

"Can you believe it Paige, less than a month until you're a year old!" I said giving her a kiss and putting her into her crib. She raised her little chubby legs, the first sign of a fit to come, and I put the blanket over her, turned her music on from her Winnie the Pooh mobile thing, and gave her a sippy cup.

They probably think I'm a bad mother for already having Paige weaned from the bottle. I leaned over the crib bars and kissed Paige on the forehead for the last time.

When I got back to the front room Chad was watching another series about the death of Michael Jackson. Yes it was very sad and sudden that he died, but come one people! How can you keep showing the same stuff about him over and over again? I was so tired of hearing about it. So I take out my trusty Dell laptop and open my e-mail, and to my luck there is an e-mail saying that a chapter of one of the fan fiction's I read has updated.

I click on the e-mail and saw it was one of my favorite Harry Potter fan fics. I quickly read it and reply, as I always do, it's so rude not to review, it's the only paycheck fan fiction writers get. I go back to my e-mail and see I have another e-mail saying another story has been updated, but I'm far to tired to read another chapter.

"Are you ready for bed?" I ask Chad.

He turns to me with that goofy smile that could only mean one thing.

"Come on, let's go." I said with a small smile as we head to the bedroom.

After everything was done, both of us in our 'pajamas' if you could call them pajamas. Mine is a pair of old boxers that don't fit Chad anymore. They are bright green and have the 7 up logo all over them. My shirt is a plain over sized white shirt that I got for donating blood a few years ago. Chad's pajama's is just a pair of old grungy shorts.

"You're getting up with Paige tomorrow right?" I ask Chad.

He nodded his head as he gets on my laptop. "Good, then I'm going to take my contacts out for the night." I said as I head for the only bathroom we have in the house.

I take my contacts out and wash my face, and brush my teeth. I walk back into our bedroom and climb under the sheets put my glasses on and start reading. I don't know why I'm re-reading this book, if I remember correctly it wasn't that good in the first place, but I trudge on through the book. It's all my dad's fault that I'm re-reading it in the first place.

If it wasn't for my dad, I wouldn't like to read at all. He wanted to be closer to me, Allura, and Aimee after him and my mom and gotten a divorce, so he read the Harry Potter books onto tapes. Well only the first two books, since the other books hadn't been released. We listened to a chapter or two every night, and it was nice to be able to hear my dad's voice since we were so far away from him.

When I had gone to live with him and my step-mom Anne, he kept telling me I would like this book by an author named Dean Kootz, so I pick it up and read it. I read so many of his books, that now, I have a hard time keeping all the different stories separated from each other.

When I was reading the book for the first time, years ago, he had asked where I was, and I told him that the mother to the main character was pregnant, and he made some comment about her being pregnant with twins! I couldn't believe he would tell me that, but that's just my dad. He likes to rag on me. So I decided to re-read it because I couldn't remember if she was really pregnant with twins or not, so now I have to read it so I could find out.

I get to the start of a new chapter and decide to call it a night. I turn to Chad and kiss him goodnight and go to sleep. I always could fall asleep very easily, even through the noise of the television and Chad typing away on the laptop.

I was having some kind of dream, but I couldn't remember what it was. I hated that, but I remember knowing it was a dream, but I wake up to The Music of the Night. I opened my eyes and knew the only thing that could play that music was the little snow globe of Erik and Christine in the boat Erik put Christine in to go to his underground lair.

I was instantly afraid. The only thing that could make that music play was if someone had wound it, from the bottom. It was one of snow globes that played music, but you had to wind the key. I had gotten it as a Christmas gift when my parents were still married, long before the movie came out.

I could hear Chad's breathing change, and knew he was awake. "Amanda, did you do that?" He asked me, his voice thick with sleep.

"No, I didn't." I replied in a quiet whisper. My eyes still hadn't gotten used to the dark, so I didn't have my night vision, and I couldn't see if there was anyone standing next to my dresser, where I kept the snow globe since I got it.

It wasn't just one little not that played either, it sounded as if someone had wound the key until it wouldn't let you anymore. For a few horrifying minutes I listened to the melody of Music of the Night until it stopped.

The first thing that popped into my mind was ghosts, since Chad liked to watch Ghost Hunters and I watched it with him, it was the only thing that seemed logical.

Chad gave a little chuckle "Maybe our house is haunted." He said. It was if he could read my mind. He rolled over and quickly went to sleep, but no such luck for me. I lay awake in the semi-darkness, our alarm clock was very bright, and stared at the ceiling and near my dresser, where I knew the snow glob to be. It started playing at 2:36 A.M. and by 3:15 I was still awake. I got up and walked to the snow globe, tripping on a flip-flop on my way to the dresser.

I looked at Chad and he was still asleep. I just didn't understand how it could go off, and I knew this wasn't a dream, or I was imagining it because Chad had heard it too. A part of me didn't want to touch it, but another part of me did, to see if maybe it was warm or cold or something. Since I watched all those Ghost Hunters I knew that if it was cold there might be the presence of a ghost since they draw all the heat from their surroundings to manifest.

Being the chicken that I am, I decide not to touch it, just yet anyways. I go down the hallway and check on Paige, who is sleeping soundly in her room. I gently pry the blanket from under her, where she has her butt sticking up in the air, and cover her legs up.

I walk back into my bedroom and directly to my dresser. I take a deep breath and reach out and grasp the snow globe. An electric shock goes through my whole hand and up my arm. I try to let go of it, but it feels like it's glued to my hand. My arm is starting to curl up. I gasp in pain and slam my eyes shut in pain.

Then the pain subsides. I quickly move the snow globe back to place it on my dresser, but when I let go of it, it crashes to the floor. I open my eyes in surprise and see that I'm no longer in my bedroom. The glass had broken on stone floor.

"Comment diable avez-vous ici." A man's voice rings out furiously.

I turned around and can't see a soul. I'm in a pitch black room and fear rises in my chest like nothing I have ever known. I have no idea where I am, and I have no idea what was just said to me, but I knew it wasn't in English.

"Please, can you turn on a light?" My voice rings out, and it echoes back to me. It terrifies me to no end that I can't see the person who is talking to me.

I heard the strike of a match to the left of me and I turn to see an angry man in half shadows. I take a step back, but bump into a wall behind me, I can't retreat any further.

"J'ai dit comment diable avez-vous ici."

Tears run down my face. "I don't understand what you're saying." I say loudly to the man who is now lighting candles.

"Oh, an Englishwoman. Your so far from you homeland I daresay. How did you find yourself in my domain?"

I look at the man before me in fear. There was something about his voice that I recognized.

I feel stiff rope come around my neck and I clutch at the rope trying to loosen it from my neck, then it hit me. I knew this voice because I was obsessed. Maybe not so much as I used to be when the movie came out in 2004, but still obsessed because I did my own bit of fan fiction writing, and mostly on Phantom of the Opera.

"Erik please don't kill me!" I try to say as loud as I could, but the lasso was to tight around my throat.

Then a miracle happened, he dropped the rope, and I quickly took it off from around my neck.

"How do you know my name?" He asks in furry. He had taken very quiet steps because I couldn't even hear him come towards me.

"Your famous." I said as I pressed my back against the wall.

How many times had I talked to Rose and said that if I ever did meet Erik I would show him that he was loved and appreciated? Of course when I'm actually faced with it, my spine turns to jelly and I only give stupid answers.

"You know about me? How?" Erik asked skeptically.

"You're a book, a movie, and a play. Well your character is. I know all about Christine, and how you burned down the opera house after your Opera that you wrote Don Juan Triumphant."

Erik's hands shot out and grabbed the upper part of my arms and shook me a little roughly. "You will tell me everything you know."

**So everything that happened up until Amanda travled back in time really happened to me, and I got the idea for this after everything happened last night. Everyone in my story is real, I'm just using middle names here. I hope you guys liked readind the first chapter to my really weird Phantom of the Opera fan fic, so please review, and let me know what you think about it.**

**Desiree'**


	2. Trying to Settle in

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Phantom of the Opera**

Chapter 2

Erik's hands were icy cold on my arms and he shook me again when I didn't answer him immediately. I looked into his amber eyes and could only see hatred pouring from them, and I tried to swallow, but found my mouth was so dry it was like my tongue had turned into sandpaper.

"Tell me what you know!" Erik shouted in my face again, and I quaked in fear. My teeth chatted together for I was very cold. I tried to move my arms, but his grip became vice like upon my arms and I felt close to tears. I had never been more scared than I was at this moment.

"There's several books about you, but the only one's I've read are by Susan Kay, Gaston Leroux, and Sue Wallace." I whispered in fear. I knew he was waiting for more, but I didn't think I could go on. My breathing was coming in great gulps and I was getting light headed from breathing like that for several minutes now, I knew if I kept it up I would eventually faint, and maybe I would wake up from this horrible nightmare that I never wanted to happen.

"What else." Erik spat in my face, and I tried to cower into the wall even more, but it was very cold, and rocks were biting into my exposed flesh.

"You want me to explain 3 books, and a movie to you right now?" I asked and bit my tongue. It seemed that he really did have a temper, though I should have guessed, and I was trying to sass him? He had already tried to kill me once, and if I hadn't known his name, I probably would be dead, I would never see Chad or Paige again. My heart seemed to wrench open at the though of my husband and daughter.

Erik was so quick that I didn't even feel him release his hold on my arms, but I felt the slap right across my cheek.

"Je vias te tuer, toi fille stupide!" Erik shouted in rage at me. I raised my hand and put it over the cheek I know had to be red. I looked up at him in fear once more.

I was a normal 5'4'' but Erik towered over me. He had to be like 6'4'' at least if not more. Chad was a bit taller than me, but Erik would have towered over Chad as well. I never really wondered how tall Erik had been before. I burst into tears at his French. I knew very little in French, I knew hello and goodbye. I didn't even know how to count to ten in French.

At my tears Erik grabbed me by the arms once more, but not like he had before, he was wheeling me in front of him, and I had no idea what he planned on doing with me and I walked in silence as he steered me down whatever stone passageway he led me down. My eyes had finally adjusted to the dark, but there wasn't much to see except stone.

My feet were frozen solid. They were always cold, but being barefoot in this dark, and dank hallway wasn't helping. I was in shorts and a tee-shirt still. The cold numbness that was my feet was making it's way up my legs, and from my fingers.

I was shoved into a small boat, and I didn't know which side of the lake I was on. He was either taking me to his house, or away from it, but I dared not speak, and if I had wanted to, I wasn't sure I would have enough strength to push anything through my throat. He walked into the boat and pushed us off across the lake. I couldn't believe I was leaving his site unscathed, well almost. My cheek still hurt from the slap.

The boat moored onto the shore, and I still had no idea what side of the lake we had washed up onto. He got out and jerked me out of the boat and another whimper escaped my lips. When we reached stairs, I know I had somehow materialized close to his home, and he was removing me from the location. What was going to happen to me? How in the world had I gone back...what year was it?!?

When we reached a passageway I looked at the entrance and saw it was indeed through a mirror. I desperately wanted to know if this had been Christine's dressing room, or if this was just another room. I saw Erik reach out and flip the switch making the glass slide back and he pushed me through the frame.

"Speak of this to no one, and I shall let you live, if not no matter where you hide I will seek you out and not hesitate to kill you." He said as he loomed over me and I cowered in fear once again.

Just as simple as that he turned and walked towards the mirror and I walked after him. I reached out to him, but didn't touch him. "Please, I don't even know what happened." I whispered not sure if he heard me or not. "I just appeared there, I don't belong here!"

Erik had stopped walking and turned to look at me. His white mask gleamed in the gas light. "I don't even know what year it is." I whispered lamely. Tears streamed down my face.

"_Stop your crying child_." Erik said in his beautiful voice, and it felt like a fog had come over my brain. The tears stopped pouring down my cheeks. "_The year is 1873_." He said in the same beautiful voice. The fog in my head made it hard to think, so it took me several minutes to realize it was 3 years after he burned down the opera house.

"They rebuilt the Opera House?" I asked stunned. This was not in anything I had read or seen, it always ended with it burning to the ground, and that was that.

"Yes, yesterday was the grand reopening, they performed Faust."

"I need to get back home. I have a family, a husband and a daughter. I need my snow globe." I said.

"Is that how you got here? Through a snow globe?" Erik asked in mock amusement.

"I don't know how it happened! I woke up to it playing and when I touched it, it shocked me, but it wasn't like a normal electrical shock. When I opened my eyes, I was here, can you explain that?" I asked in hysterics. Time travel was not something I believed in. It may be possible, in the future, but I doubted it, otherwise there wouldn't be so many unfair deaths, like Ruth's. I would have two baby girls instead of one.

"Be silent!" He raged at me again, and I immediately closed my mouth. "Your speaking the truth? Yes I see you are. What are you wearing? I've never seen such articles of clothing before."

"Isn't this proof enough that I don't belong here?" I asked as I picked at my big shirt.

He had fully turned around to me, and when he was not raging at me, it seemed as though I wasn't terrified of him. At least at the moment. "Yes we will have to get you back it seems, where is your snow globe?" He asked and I couldn't believe he believed me, but then again this is Erik, and he did, and believed in strange things.

I was trying to think, then it came to me, and I went deathly pale. "I dropped it." I whispered in horror. "We have to go find it!" I said and walked through the mirror, but I felt a hand grasp my shoulder tightly.

"Just where do you think your going?" He asked me and I looked at him stupidly.

"I just told you, I have to get my snow globe."

"I will not allow anyone to enter my house and come out alive! I shall go and look for it, and bring it back to you, so _don't move_." He said and I fell back into that hypnosis. He turned and his cloak swirled around him in a graceful manner and he left, closing the mirror behind him as he went. Who was occupying this room now? Would they come back soon and demand me to leave their room?

Several minutes had passed, and I looked around the room and saw it was furnished and awaiting an occupant. There was a twin bed in the corner and a small vanity right next to the mirror. I walked to the chair and sat down, still feeling numb with cold, but it was a bit warmer in this room, than in the stone halls.

I glanced in the mirror and saw my face was red and puffy from crying, and my hair was in knots all around me from having slept on it. There was a brush laying on a silver tray along with a tin of powder and a powder puff. I grabbed the brush and ran it through my slightly curly long hair. I placed the brush back down on the silver tray and waited for Erik to come back for me, I desperately wanted to go home and forget this terrible ordeal. I would never be able to tell anyone this happened, for they would lock me in the nut house.

Just as I was getting worried he was going to abandon me, the glass slide to the side and he stepped through the mirror holding what was left of my snow globe. The glass was gone, and all that was left was the base and the figurine. I reached out for it and he dropped it into my hand getting very excited to go home, but nothing happened. I shook it hard, and nothing. No electric shock, no nothing. I let it fall from my hand and clatter to the floor.

"Nothing happened." I whispered feeling the tears spring to my eyes. I looked up at Erik. "What am I going to do? I want to go home."

Erik sighed. "You will just have to stay here until something happens. It seems that we will have to find you something suitable to wear, and a place to say. I will speak to the managers and gain you employment, can you sing?"

I shook my head no in numb disbelief. "No I can't sing."

"Can you stitch?"

"You mean sewing?" I asked him. "Yes I can sew, but I suppose it will be by hand, and yes I can."

"Then I will write a note to them and tell them to hire you for the costume department. Now to find a place for you to sleep, it is quite late, and you are in need of relaxing your mind." He grabbed me by the arm again and led me out of that room.

"I can't stay in there?" I asked, but he didn't answer. He walked me down several halls, and I was quite lost, I had never appreciated how big the opera house was. Before he opened the door he turned to me. "You will be sharing a room with your fellow workers, tomorrow, so don't become attached to this room, it is empty because I don't want you interacting with people yet, you are weary and you need something better to wear."

I walked into the room and thought it looked very drab, it was big enough to have a twin bed, a standing bureau dresser, and the big mirror, it was the size of my bathroom at home. "Now sleep, and you shall find adequate clothing when you shall arise. Don't tell anyone of this meeting, or you will regret it." And I knew I would, for he would kill me. "I will be in touch soon, don't try to find me."

He left through the door, and I looked around to find a lamp, and found 'lamp' but no matches, so I laid on the uncomfortable bed, and pulled the thin blanket over my body. Tears coursed down my cheeks again, and I dearly wished I could just wake up and have this be just a dream.

When I woke the next morning I found there was a plain black dress and sensible shoes draped over the end of my bed. I saw a note laying on the floor and I ran over to it and snatched it up.

_You are now employed in the costume department, and they are expecting you. Find your way to the entrance, and they will show you around, do not make a spectacle of yourself, of I will have you removed. They will show you where you will be staying, and your clothes will be there waiting for you. I will be in contact._

_OG_

I shook my head, not liking this at all. I desperately wanted to be home, snug in my bed, and hear the sound of Paige in the other room. I quickly got out of my pajamas and stepped into the dress, stockings, and shoes. I didn't really know what to do with my hair, since I was used to just straightening it, but there was no electricity, let alone a straightener. I put Erik's note in the pocked of my dress.

As I stepped out of the small room, I could hear the hustle and bustle of the opera house, and I thought it was easier to find my way in the light, and soon I was standing in the huge entrance. I had asked to speak to the managers, telling the woman I saw that I was just recently hired. She eyed me suspiciously and showed me to some offices.

When I walked in to see a portly man with his feet up in his desk he asked me who I was. "Amanda Boils, you have recently hired me in the costume department." At my words he paled.

"Oh yes, that's you." He said flustered, and I wondered what Erik had put in his letter. He walked with me to the costume department, and showed me the two girls who were working, their names were Eleanor and Pearl, the woman who was over the department's name was Harriet.

"Make sure you welcome her, and show her around." Then he departed. I stood against the wall and felt stupid. I had no idea what I was going to do. The girls were twins, and they looked all of 15. Harriet was an elderly lady, and kept to herself. The twins were very talkative, and immediately pounced on me, asking me where I was from, and what I was doing here, and all sorts of things. I had to try and keep up with the conversation.

"You poor dear, you look half starved, let's get to the kitchen and get some breakfast." Eleanor said with a smile.

It was true, I was very hungry, and they showed me the way to the staff kitchen. Breakfast contained a few pieces of fruit, and a baguette and water. I cringed when I tasted the water. I was very picky about my water. It had to be filtered water, and ice cold, this didn't serve to my tastes at all, I was going to have a very hard time here.

As soon as breakfast was over they showed me back to the costume department. "We are very busy at the moment, getting ready for the ball in a fortnight, we have to fill all the costume requests, we will be glad that they hired someone else, I didn't think we were going to make the deadline." Pearl said and I only nodded my head.

Fabric was pushed into my hands and a needle and thread. "Just finish the hem and that will be done." They said in unison and giggled.

I sat down and started sewing, as best I could. I didn't want to be fired on my first day and make Erik look like an idiot for going to bat for me. I thankfully had my hands were deep in the fabric when Eleanor asked weather I was betrothed or not.

I looked up in surprise, and realized I still had my wedding band and engagement ring on my finger. I didn't know what they would think of my ring, surely I couldn't pass it off as new, it was too modern, so I reached over and took it off slipping it into my pocket, but my eyes welled up in tears, I missed Chad desperately.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." Eleanor said seeing the tears in my eyes. I let her believe whatever she wanted and got back to work.

By the time dinner rolled around, I was in pain. My fingers were unbelievably sore, my back ached from leaning over the fabric, and I had a terrible headache. I wasn't wearing my contacts, and realized I would just have a headache until I could get home. My life in this time wasn't going to be easy at all. I was having withdraws from my computer, electricity, real food, and so many other things. I picked at my food. I was starving, but this wasn't the place for me to be.

I had asked Pearl where I could wash up and she showed me the closest place that had a tub, but of course it didn't have water that came out of a spout. I had to go down the hall, pump the water and wait for it to heat up on the wood burning stove. Eleanor had gave me a small bottle that held bubbles in it, she said I needed to relax since first days were hard and I was thankful.

After I had dumped all the water into the bath I undressed and slipped into the water, feeling my back relax a bit. I plunged under the water and washed my hair in the soapy water. I grabbed a small square of cloth and rubbed it all over my skin.

When I got out, I quickly dressed, and braided my hair to get it out of my face. Just as I was going to leave I heard Erik.

"You have done well today."

I gasped in shock since I had just gotten dressed, had he been there the whole time?

**Yes I know this is a bit of an odd story, at least the start of it, but it has been on my mind for a long time. I really hope my faithful readers like it and review, they really make my day.**

**Desiree'**


	3. Never Worked Harder

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Phantom of the Opera**

Chapter 3

I turned around and cursed to myself as I saw a big mirror in the room. I should have figured he would have a passageway to every mirror, this was his whole damn life!

"Erik!" I gasped out. "I was naked. Were you spying on me this whole time?"

"Calm yourself before you loose your temper." Erik said and it sounded like he was right behind me. I let out a snort. He should really heed his own words.

"Well, I don't appreciate people spying on me." I hissed back to the mirror.

"It is my duty to keep an eye on you." He replied almost lazily.

I turned my back to the mirror and crossed my arms across my chest. I wasn't in the mood to be played with. Since there was no rubber-band keeping my hair tied back in the braid it was already falling apart. I sighed and ran my fingers through my sopping hair until all of it was hanging loosely around my face.

"I've been thinking...Amanda...that's a really unusual name, what is your middle name?" Erik asked and I heard a soft clink. I turned around to see him standing in front of the mirror. It seemed he was going to grace me with his presence.

Duh! Why didn't I think of it before, my middle name was a French name, thanks to my dad. It would fit in better here. "It's Desiree'." I said still shaking my head. I knew it meant desired.

"Well Desiree' fits better, you shall tell everyone that you feel more comfortable going to that name."

I really was not one to let someone, especially a man, tell me what to do. Not that I was a feminist or anything, I was just too proud, or well stubborn if you ask Chad, or well anyone else who knows me, but I know what Erik said made sense, my middle name would fit better than my first. I took a deep breath and sighed. "Okay, Desiree' it is." I muttered. I could see him smiling through half his face, the other side of the smile disappeared into his white mask that seemed to shine in itself.

"So are you settled in? I'm assuming your clothing fits you."

I looked down at the ugly shapeless nightgown I was wearing. I never did wear nightgowns to bed, well not since I was a little girl. "Yes it fits, thank you." I said.

"You need a back story. Have you though of something useful?"

No, I couldn't think. I had never worked harder in my life and I kept sticking my fingers and I was trying to keep up with Pearl and Eleanor. I shook my head no and he let a sigh out through his teeth.

"Thankfully you have me here to look after you Desiree', now listen closely because my attention is needed elsewhere soon. You have a mark on your ring finger, so you are married yes?"

Tears sprang to my eyes and I nodded my head, and looked down at my bare feet.

"You were born to a Marquesas family, but fell in love with a poor nobody, and you ran away together and were married, but two months ago he died and your family has turned you away, forcing you to see employment elsewhere, do you understand?"

Again I nodded my head. I desperately wanted to crawl into bed and cry.

"What have you done with your rings? I noticed you are no longer wearing them."

I looked up and placed my hand into the huge pocked of the dress I had been wearing that day holding them in the palm of my hand. Erik reached out with his gloved hand and I closed my fist around them and held them against my chest.

"Your not taking these." I said with a sternness.

Erik's hand balled into a fist and he took a step towards me, and I closed my eyes in fear. If he was going to hit me again, I didn't want to watch, but I felt something light fall over my head and hang around my neck. I opened my eyes to see Erik retreating.

"I though that might come in handy. I'll be in touch." Erik said and threw his voice so it sounded like he was right besides me. He did something to the mirror and stepped through, not looking back towards me. I reached up with my empty hand and fingered the thin gold chain. I took it off and found the clasp, and dropped my rings onto the chain and placed it around my neck and tucked it into my nightgown.

I picked up my dress and all the stuff I now had to wear, and I thought bra's were bad enough, there was enough layers here if I wore each layer in different days I would have clothing for a week! Thankfully I knew where my room was located and quietly walked into the room to see Pearl and Eleanor chatting with each other on their beds. I thanked Eleanor for the bottle of soap and returned it to her.

"Did you enjoy your bath Amanda?" Pearl asked with a smile.

I placed my dress over a chair near my bed and I nodded. "I would prefer using my real name," I sounded so stupid. "It's Desiree', I had changed it to..." To what? I was a writer, I should be able to come up with a good story. "Um, hide my identity, but I realized no one will come looking for me here, my family has turned their backs on me."

Both Pearl and Eleanor had gotten off the bed and placed a hand on my shoulders. "Oh my, what happened?"

I told them the story that Erik had come up for me, and they seemed to accept it. Maybe I wasn't the first who had done this, or said that has happened, it didn't really happen to me. I felt some comfort from my wedding rings hanging around my neck, I had done this when I was pregnant.

Soon after they gave me hugs and said they would try to make life easier for me, and I crawled into my very small bed, and pulled the too thin blanket over my body and felt the tears coursing down my cheeks, I cried myself to sleep. Again.

When I was a teenager there could be a stampede of elephants run thorough my house, and I would have never woken up, but having a baby changes all that and when I heard a match being lit, I groggily rolled over to see Pearl lighting the lantern. She touched her sister on the shoulder. "Get up, we need to get started today."

Pearl turned her eyes to mine and saw I was awake. "Good morning Desiree', did you sleep well?"

I shook my head no. My head was pounding, from lack of sleep, no contacts, and I had been crying, not a good combination at all. Soon Pearl and Eleanor were up and dressed pinning their hair back, and I looked at them stupidly. I knew how to do my hair, but with a straightener, maybe a bumpit, or clips, and of course none of those things existed, so I just ran a brush through my hair.

My hair was very dark, not quite black, just a shade or two off though. When I was a kid it was very curly, but not it was only a tad curly, more wavy, and it was all one length except around my face where it was sort of feathered. It hung between the top part of my shoulder blades to the bottom of my shoulder blades. I didn't really know what else to do with it, and just as we were about to leave and get some breakfast Eleanor turned to me.

"Desiree' do you need help getting ready?" I looked down at what I was wearing. A black dress, similar to Pearl's and Eleanor's with all the puff and thrills they had, and just shrugged my shoulders. This was not something I would call myself beautiful in, but it fit the time. I realized they must mean my hair. "Oh yes." I said with a sigh of relief. They knew I came from royalty of sorts, so maybe they though I never did my own hair.

They pushed me over to a chair and got to work braiding, and twisting, and sticking pins in everywhere. When they got done I was surprised. It looked like someone had spent hours oh my hair instead of minutes. It almost looked like the hairstyle I had in when I got married, or went to prom. As we were walking to breakfast they each linked an arm through mine and started gossiping about everything, from the new ballet rats, to available gentlemen to court. Thankfully I didn't have to really keep up with them, I just nodded in the right places.

Breakfast was again a few pieces of fruit and a baguette with water. Bleck. Before I wanted to the three of us were back in the costume room and I was back to bending over the fabric with a needle and thread. My back was already starting to hurt and my fingers were sore. How long would I be able to keep up with the twins? I didn't even know how they did it all, they barely looked at their work and talked all day, I barely took my eyes away from the fabric, and spoke all of 4 words. I was constantly getting up to get more thread, or to place a finished garment over on the rack and picking up something new. There wasn't even a clock in here to see what time it was.

Finally Eleanor and Pearl stood up and stretched at the same time, I guess it was time for lunch. My stomach gurgled and I laid the needle down and cracked my fingers, then my neck, and finally my aching back. I had worked at a lot of different places before. As a carhop at Sonic, at a Dairy Queen as a cook, I worked briefly at a hotel as a cleaning lady, at a daycare, and I worked with all ages from birth to 12, and at a home health office as a secretary of sorts, but this was harder than all of those jobs put together, and this job seemed to never stop. How could those girls just pounce away like this was nothing? I wasn't that old, I was just barely 22, still in the prime of my life? Right? Apparently not for I was moaning and groaning like I was 72 instead of 22.

They basically had to pull me along to get lunch which was just a little of this and a little of that, oh and of course water then it was back to work, I wanted to cry. Was I just being a big baby? I took a deep breath and kept on stitching along the bodice of a very beautiful dress, it was a deep burgundy color with flecks of green throughout the material. This must be one of the dresses for the ball that was coming up soon. Pearl had said it was for the cast and some of the members of the Opera to celebrate the Opera house being refinished. They stumbled upon a topic I was actually interested in.

"Why was the Opera rebuilt?" I asked quickly before Pearl changed the subject.

"Well after the fire was put out, that was it, everyone was done, they all went looking for the Phantom, but couldn't find him! They found his lair and trashed it, but he was no where to be seen. This building was going to be demolished, but he returned!" Eleanor said dramatically.

I stopped for a moment and looked up. "They didn't go looking for him again?"

"Well that's the weird thing, they did, but they couldn't get across the lake. Some people tried to swim across, and they were sucked down like there was someone under the water pulling them down, and after so many attempts that failed they stopped trying, and just did what he said. He demanded that his Opera house be redone. It was only the front of the Opera that was ruined by the fire, and that took three years to finish, but they finished, and now no one bother's the Phantom." Pearl continued.

Erik has all the power now.

"The old managers left, and new ones were hired, and now we don't hear from him very much anymore, unless something goes wrong. The Phantom was very upset with one of the chorus girls, and he demanded they fire her, and that was the last thing we've heard from him."

No it wasn't. Erik had sent a note to the new managers about me, and it seemed he still had the power to frighten people, so maybe it wasn't just me after all. Just when I was about to ask about Christine when Harriet came in, and the girls stopped talking immediately, so I took the hint and got back to work, I would have to ask them about it later, besides, I wasn't sure if Erik was already listening to the conversation, it seemed he heard everything that went on here.

There would be another performance tonight, so Eleanor, Pearl, and myself quit at the costumes a bit early and were ushered to behind the stage in case something were to happen to any of the costumes, we were also supposed to help the chorus girls and everyone else change quickly. I had been to a few plays when I was younger, Jesus Christ Superstar, Show Boat, The Nutcracker, and of course Phantom of the Opera, but that was in the audience, I had never been backstage before, and the excitement seemed to be all around, and I couldn't help but get a bit excited, but that was soon washed away when the play started and I was quickly changing costumes, and hanging up stuff no one would need again, and fixing torn hems, it was a hectic place to be, and I was grateful when it was over.

Pearl and Eleanor came at me all smiles and giggles with their arms linked through each others arms. They informed me they were going out for a night on the town and wanted me to come along, but I declined thinking an early night in was in store with me. I walked with them back to our little room and watched as they changed dresses and applied a touch of makeup, if you could even call that crap makeup, they looked beautiful and they skipped out of the room.

I sighed and flopped down onto my little bed still wearing the huge dress and corset and pulled my knees up to my chest and though about Chad and Paige. I could still see my little beautiful angel with her mop of curly hair and striking blue eyes. Her little teeth sticking through her red and puffy gums with her fat little hands reaching out for me to pick her up. My arms seemed to ache at the memory.

Then I though of Chad. His kind green eyes and messy dark hair he never kept combed. I miss just laying on him, he was my big pillow, and I could always count on him to be there to cheer me up when I needed him to. How I wished I could touch his unshaven cheek. I let out a sob. I was so tired as it was, crying just over did it. My eye lids were starting to close when I heard the sweetest song come to my ears. It felt like the music was actually comforting me and I unclenched my knees from my chest actually relaxing a bit as I kicked off my clunky shoes I was wearing.

How I managed this, I'll never know, but I had taken my corset off under my dress and slid it down my skirts and reached up through the fluff and pulled it off. I felt for the blanket around my feet and pulled it up to my chin. The tears had stopped and I felt like I was slightly in a daze, and before I gave way to sleep I realized it was Erik who was singing to me, and trying to make me feel better. Why would he do that?

**I really hope the name change doesn't confuse everyone, but I had this planned from the get go. I have a few thanks to give out: KellansLadyKatie09 for adding me to her favorite author list, and mcphan4eva for adding me to their story alerts. I know it's been a bit longer than normal for me to update, but I usually write at work, and my work schedule has been a bit off lately, and I was called in today, so here you go! Please hit that little review button and let me know how my story is going, I really do love reading and replying to everyone's review, even if you don't have an account, review, and I'll respond here. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed my past chapter, they really do mean a lot to me.**

**Desiree'**


	4. Possible Prospects

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Phantom of the Opera**

Chapter 4

When I opened my eyes I realized it was morning, I heard the familiar snap of a match being lit, I hadn't even heard the twins come in last night, then I quickly sat up remembering the last though I had was that Erik had sung to me last night to help calm me. Did he leave a note for me? I hadn't seen him or heard from him since I offended him when I though he was trying to take my wedding rings. I pulled my thin blanket back expecting to see a red rose with a black ribbon and a note in my bed, but nothing.

Of course not, Erik's roses were for Christine. They were a meaning of love and appreciation, why would he give one to me? I remember on one Valentines Day Chad went out and bought a single red rose, and some black ribbon and drove out to my work and gave it to me.

"What has got you in such a fright?" Pearl asked in a sleepy voice.

I turned to her in confusion, then though they must think I was scared because I sat up quickly and was throwing my blanket all over the place. "Oh, just a bad dream." I muttered slightly embarrassed. My head felt like it weighed a ton, and I reached up and realized all the pins were still in my hair, I must not have tossed and turned like I normally did when I slept, it still felt like it was presentable, I would have to change clothes because this dress was horribly wrinkled, and I wasn't wearing anything underneath it.

Putting on the corset I cursed it. I wasn't the skinniest person in the world, I had had two kids in two years, and that does something to your body, then never doing the right exercises didn't help either, but I wasn't really heavy or anything, my doctors told me I was right in the area I needed, but I still had extra weight on my belly from when I first got married, and my legs were thicker from when I was in high school. I sucked in when I clasped the little hooks in front, thankfully Erik had the foresight that I would need a corset that clasps instead of ties, and it goes in the front so I wouldn't have to depend on someone else to help me get dressed.

My stomach gurgled and I sighed, I was hungry all the time here, maybe that would help me get back to a smaller size, but I really hated starving myself, but I didn't have a whole lot of other options, so I quietly followed the twins out of our little room. I picked at the grapes on my plate and the hard lump of bread on my plate. No wonder everyone here was so damn skinny, there was nothing to eat!

Once more we were back in the costume department and it was back to sewing. I was actually getting a bit better, though I was still pretty slow compared to Pearl and Eleanor. When lunch time rolled around, they got up and waited for me.

"No, go on, I really need to finish this, I'm really far behind, and we have another performance and the dancers did a number to this costume, just bring me something back?"

"Of course." They chirped at the same time and giggled. It was kind of nice having them around, they were probably around the same age as my youngest sister Aimee-Elizabeth. She always came to be for advice, and we were close, though she lived half way across the country, we talked on the phone, and sent text messages, and she was even on this role-playing sight I was on.

Since I was by myself I started to hum a song I had heard on the radio, and sang the words if I knew them. Pearl and Eleanor weren't gone ten minutes when I heard the air change in the room, and I stopped what I was doing and looked up to see that a door had been opened. There stood a younger man, probably in his mid twenties. He was handsome with blue eyes and high cheekbones. He had dark brown hair that was long, but he had it tied back. He smiled at me, but the smile didn't look like a smile, it looked like a leer almost and I automatically scooted back in my chair without thinking.

Chad always would tell me if some guy looked at me when we were out together, he said it was a complement to him that other men though his wife was attractive, and I would always roll my eyes and smack his arm and tell him to shut up. Something in this man's smile though sent cold chills down my spin, and I wondered what he was doing here, but then his smile disappeared and he gave a slight bow in my direction, and I wondered what the leer had been about.

"Yes?" I asked. This was the costume department, and we were responsible for the outfits for the ball that was coming up.

"I need to place my order for the ball." He said and stepped into the room. I had never done this before, and I didn't want to mess his order up.

"You'll have to come back, they are gone to lunch." I said to the man who was still staring at me.

"I don't have time to come back, I'm a very important man."

Trying my hardest not to roll my eyes and let out a sigh, I set the dress I was working on aside and got up to look for some parchment and a quill and ink to work with. I would just write down what he wanted and either Pearl or Eleanor could sketch it out, I wasn't the best artist in the world.

"That's better." He said and I looked up and glared at him. There was no need to be so rude. He told me he wanted a black suit with forest green trimming. I quickly wrote it down as he continued telling me what he wanted on his suit for the ball.

"Is that it?" I couldn't help but ask with a touch of sarcasm as I finished scribbling down all his demands.

"No that's not it." He replied and I mentally sighed, he wanted a lot of small designs on his jacket, and it would take us forever to get them all done. "I would like you to accompany me to supper tonight."

I looked up in shock. Had he just asked me out? I haven't been asked out in nearly five years, and I didn't really know what to say. I mean obviously no, but I tried to talk as little as possible, I didn't really know the lingo for this century. I was used to saying things wouldn't be accepted here.

"I shall have my carriage ready for you at eight tonight, I will be waiting for you in the entrance hall." Then he turned on his heel and left. I could feel my mouth was slightly ajar and I just stared at the now empty doorway. What had just happened here?

The prospects of going out on a date with that man, I didn't even know his name, was horrible to me. I loved Chad very much and just the though of me having dinner with another man had me trembling, I was no cheater.

When Pearl and Eleanor came back holding food for me the found me sitting on the chair they had left me, rocking back and forth. I did that when I was nervous or anxious or upset.

"Are you ill Desiree'?" They asked with concern on their faces, and I nodded. I wasn't ill, but there was no way to describe what I was feeling.

"You don't look well, why don't you lie down?" They suggested, and I thought it was a good idea. How was I ever going to get out of this?

Somehow I managed to make it to my little room. I couldn't just turn this man down, he was obviously important, I could just tell by the way he held himself, he though he was hot shit, and the fact that he was going to the ball. He could really make life difficult for me here, all he had to do was make up some story and have me fired. I numbly sat on my bed and just stared at the wall.

When I heard the door open, I turned to see who it was, but no one was there, and I though I was loosing my mind.

"Your not here a fortnight and you already have yourself a suitor." Erik spat, and I jumped and looked for where his voice was. He was standing there by the mirror and he looked livid. I shrunk back against the wall. I did nothing to have him angry with me. "Do you intend to accompany him to dinner?" He shouted at me.

Going from fear to angry in a split second I jumped off the bed and started pacing around the room. "I didn't ask for this Erik! I don't even know who he was, and he just demanded I go out with him, what was I supposed to do? Run after him and tell him no?" I was shouting. "No I don't want to 'accompany' him to dinner." I said and rolled my eyes. "I am a married woman remember?"

Pacing actually helped me. I started to calm back down and I sat back on my bed and put my head in my hands. I heard Erik take a step closer to him and I looked up at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell, I'm just upset."

There was no emotion on the part of his face that I could see. His mask seemed to glow again, and I suddenly wondered if it was warm or cold to the touch. I almost felt like I had a friend there. Like I was ranting and raving to Rose to help me calm down. "What am I supposed to do Erik?" I asked in defeat.

His head whipped around when I used his name, and I wondered if he was used to people not actually knowing him or calling out to him. He sighed. "I will send a message to Lord Montgomery and explain you already have a suitor and you have no intention of breaking your plans for the evening."

Looking up at Erik I felt relived. "You will have to tell the twins that you have a suitor, they will gossip a lot with the ballet rats, but you will have to go somewhere tonight to make it look like you are out tonight. You can go to the rooftop and wait for a few hours, that will get you out of the opera house."

"Thank you." I said and gave him a small smile. It seemed having Erik as a friend was actually paying off, he had saved my skin several times now. "I also want to apologize for what I did the other day, I just though you were trying to take my wedding rings away from me, and I should have realized you were only trying to help."

He nodded his head once, then turned and left without another word to me. I sat back down on my bed and took a deep breath.

"_Go back to work."_ Without even thinking I got to my feet and was out of the door before I realized that Erik had spoken. He sure did have a power over people, and it seemed I was one of those people he could manipulate at will.

When I returned to the costume department Pearl started firing questions at me about Montgomery. I know knew his name at least thanks to Erik. I quickly explained that I had a suitor, and of course they wanted to know, but I told them I would rather keep that to myself for the time being. Let them make up their own minds about who they think it is. There was a nagging I felt in my brain, and it didn't stop until I picked up the dress I was working on earlier and got to work. It must have been Erik's warning to get back to work.

Finally our day was done with, and I had to make a big show about getting ready for my 'date' that evening, and that mean putting on a nicer looking dress, and Pearl and Eleanor redid my hair so that I would look beautiful for my evening. I thanked them, and headed off towards the entrance of the opera house, but Erik had told me about a dark passageway that led to some stairs to the roof, so I ended up going there.

The night air was actually comfortable and I walked to the edge and looked down, I wasn't afraid of heights, so it didn't bother me, but I did make sure to grab the ledge, just in case. Paris was so beautiful at night, especially from this high up.

After a few minutes of site seeing I walked around the roof top, already bored. I wanted my mp3 player so I could listen to music, or my laptop so I could look at some YouTube videos, or even update on my role-playing, and neopets. I missed my Internet friends. So with a sigh, I sat down on the cold ground and then laid down so I could look at the stars. There was a thin layer of clouds, but a light breeze blew them away. It had been a long time since I just looked up at the stars. I started to jiggle my feet, I was so bored just laying here. I usually always had to do something or I would go out of my mind with boredom.

"Don't you ever just sit still?" A voice rang out and I stopped my wiggling. It was Erik. Was he always spying on me?

I waited for him to come out of his hiding spot and talk to me, I didn't like having conversations with him when I couldn't see him.

"Your anxious, I can tell, what seems to be bothering you?"

Sitting up I looked around for him, but couldn't find him. Fine if he was going to be difficult, then let him. "I was just thinking I wish I had some of my modern day conveniences, it's boring just sitting here while everyone things I'm out for a night on the town."

"You miss your family, don't you?" He asked, and it sounded like he was right next to me.

Hanging my head. "Yes." I whispered.

"You mumble about them a lot in your sleep." Finally he showed himself. Well all I could see was his shoes and pants because I was still looking down. I finally looked up and he was offering me his hand, so I took it and he pulled me up off the ground.

"You talk about your little girl the most. What is it like? Having children?"

Looking up into his face I could see real interest in the question. "It's wonderful, she's a part of me, and I wish she was here in my arms." I felt dangerously close to tears again.

"I'm sorry, I won't bring it up again." Erik said quietly.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked and bit my lip. This question could be a dangerous one for me if he got too upset. "What happened to Christine?"

As I feared, his hands balled up into fists and he sucked in a deep breath, and blew it out quickly, almost like he was trying to calm himself down. I took a small step away from him for fear he would take his anger out on me.

"She eloped to that fop, and they left. She doesn't perform anymore, he thinks it's beneath her, all that talent wasted!" Erik shouted into the quiet night air. He took several more deep breaths. "They are a family now, her daughter is a few months old now." Erik turned away from me and I could see his shoulders shaking. I took a step closer to him and touched his shoulder. "I'm sorry." I said in a whisper.

As soon as my hand touched his shoulder he jerked away from me, so I lowered my hand in humiliation. "I will come back for you when you can go back inside. Just stay here and keep quiet." He replied before he left quickly.

I sighed and sat down hard. I didn't mean to make him upset, I just had to know, and now he was mad at me again. Great.

**I have a few special thanks to give out: evilquail thank you for adding my story to your alert list, and CrossBreed777 for adding my story to your alert list. So like I promised a few reviewers, I updated quickly. I really love reading reviews and seeing what my readers think of my story so please make sure you review, even if it's to say good job. Thank you to the few people who have reviewed so far!**

**Desiree'**


	5. Stitches

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Phantom of the Opera**

Chapter 5

Time almost had no meaning to me now. I was so used to just turning in my front room to see my big clock on the wall, or even flip open my cell phone, I always had it with me. Even my MP3 player had a clock display on it, but I was still stuck up on the roof, and it felt like hours had gone by. Was Erik torturing me by keeping me up here with nothing to do? Was he punishing me for asking about Christine? I can't help that I'm curious about my favorite story, no one could blame me.

Rose has told me that I'm to curious about what's going on, I always have to find out everything, know everything, and I know it's true. My stupid question asking has gotten me more information that I should really know from time to time, but I can't help it, I just want to know. Especially if it's about Erik and Christine, their story is my favorite, I can read the books about 'The Phantom of the Opera' again and again, I would never get bored. Even my favorite fan fiction's are Phantom related, and that's what I end up writing more than anything else.

As more time went by, it was getting cold up here on the roof, and I sat down from my pacing the top of the roof for the hundredth time. I pressed my aching back into the wall where the door was located and willed it to open. I wouldn't dare open it myself and have Erik catch me disobeying him. The cold stone under my butt and back didn't help since I was trying to warm myself up. I pulled my knees to my chest and put my arms around my legs. I wasn't nearly as flexible as I was in high school, and my neck hurt when I put my head on my knees.

After only a few minutes I couldn't sit like that anymore, and I was getting so tired, I had been up here doing nothing for hours, so I just laid down and put my arms under my head. Every day I tried to picture Paige's, Ruth's and Chad's face. It was getting hard now. I knew what they looked like, but when I would think about them, it would be still shots from pictures we had around the house. My heart clenched, I missed them so much. I closed my eyes against the pain, and stayed that way until I fell asleep.

Since having kids I was such a light sleeper, but I didn't hear when someone had came up on the roof, but I did wake when someone put their arms around me. It was the arms I had been longing for, Chad's, so I jerked up. When you've been married for almost five years you learn your partners touch, and the person touching me wasn't my husbands. Automatically I arched my back so it was harder for whoever it was trying to pick me up off the ground and kicked out my legs. I knew absolutely no self defense, except kick them in the groin, but they had me off the ground, so that wasn't an option.

"_Stop!"_ Erik's voice rang in my ear, and I immediately stopped my thrashing. It was only Erik, I guess I should have known. My heart was still beating frantically though, and I let out a breath I had hitched in for a good loud scream, that was one thing I knew I was good at, screaming. My Aunt had used me in this haunted house thing, well it was more like a trail, and she would cover me up with dead leaves and when people went walking by I would reach out for them and give my best scream. She said it was a 'Hollywood Scream', but it wasn't needed. It was only Erik and for some reason I trusted him.

"I tried not to wake you." He said. It looked like he was uncomfortable.

"You can put me down, I know I'm heavy." I said as my heart seemed to come back to a normal beat.

Not two seconds went by when he released the hand that had been under my knees and my feet hit the pavement. "You were not heavy." Erik said and I looked up at him and rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, then why were you so uncomfortable?" I asked as more of a rhetorical question than anything.

"It did not feel right to hold a married woman in such a position." Was all he said.

That wasn't what I expected. I was so used to thinking Erik was okay about his place in the world. Well not okay, but he seemed to make it his own anyways, do what he wants, that sort of thing. I guess I was wrong. "Oh, well I can walk now. I take it I can go to bed finally?"

Erik nodded his head and walked off. Was I supposed to follow him, or should I go down the main way? I stared and watched as he stalked off, torn between the two decisions.

"_Come." _And I followed after him. He led me to a blank stretch of wall, but pushed on something and part of the wall moved backwards. Of course a secret passageway. It was so dark in there, I was afraid I would fall, I still wasn't used to this huge dress that hung around my feet. I blindly reached out for the wall, but instead of cold hard stone, I touched something hand and soft. It was Erik's shoulder.

"Erik, I can't see where I'm going, I don't even know if were at stairs." I complained.

I heard a sigh and felt my feet leaving the Earth again. He had picked up up. I didn't really know what to do with my hands. It didn't seem like he had trouble carrying my weight but it felt more like a romantic jester if I wrapped my arms around his neck, so I settled with crossing them on my chest, my fingers felt like ice and I needed to try and warm them up using my body heat, the situation was still awkward though.

After several steps we hit stairs, and we started our decent from the roof. I wondered what Christine had felt like when Erik first showed her he wasn't the Angel of Music, and he was the Opera Ghost, what did she feel when they made their decent to his lair?

Getting lost in my own thoughts, I hadn't realized that Erik had stopped moving until he moved me around in his arms, trying to get my attention, and I pulled myself out of my thinking and looked up into his green eyes. "All you have to do is walk around to the front and come in through the front. It will make you look as if you are returning from your festivities, so if anyone is keeping their eyes on you, you can fool them."

Once more my feet hit the ground. I wish he had given me more heads up, I would have been ready. "Thank you for taking care of things Erik." Even if you did leave me up on the that damn roof for who knows how long. "Do you really think Lord whatever his name was is keeping tabs on me?" I asked before I left him. The door was open and I could feel the cold air hitting me. It was a bit warmer close to Erik, but he had already removed his arm from around my back and was retreating into the dark.

"Yes, I saw him asking around for you tonight, and finally your _friends_ stepped up for you and told them you were out with your suitor."

My shoulders slumped. Hadn't Erik's note told him just that? And why did Erik spit out the word friends? It was way to late and I was far to tired to think about what everything meant. I didn't need some stalker right now, but it looked like I had one. Just great.

"_Go to sleep." _I turned to see Erik, but he was no longer in the hallway with me, and my feet started moving against me telling them not to. Erik's voice was a very powerful weapon, and he knew exactly how to make anything bend to his will. I quietly walked around the side of the Opera House and made my way inside and quickly found my bed. As quickly as I could I wiggled out of the dress and into a nightgown and crawled into the cold bed, and I started to shiver and shake even though the blanket was pulled up to my chin.

Pearl and Eleanor were asleep in their little beds, and I was glad I hadn't woken them, who knew what time it was. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was asleep.

Much sooner than I wanted, I was roused awake by Pearl touching my shoulder. I groaned and pulled the blanket over my head. I felt like I was 13 all over again telling my mom 'just 10 more minutes' but I knew that wasn't an option, so I groaned again and threw the blanket off me and quickly got dressed and had my pathetic breakfast. The twins had started grilling me about my evening, but I didn't really know what to tell them.

The dates I had been on before were things like dinner and a movie, or maybe bowling, stuff like that. What in the world did people at this time period do on a date? Dinner and walked around a park? Or was that more for someone that was higher class. Was my 'suitor' in a higher class? Would that be a convincing story? One higher society person had asked me out, was it so hard to believe?

"I had a very enjoyable time last night, but I'm afraid I over did it, I'm very tired this morning." I told the girls and yawned as if to prove my point, and they nodded with huge smiles on their beautiful faces. They reminded me of my youngest sister so much. Then of course it was back to work.

There was another performance of Faust tonight, so we ended early again, and it was the hectic scene that it was last time. One dancer had completely torn the sleeve of her dress, and we had to hurry and fix it before she was due on stage, she was very jittery and it made it hard to fix the stupid sleeve. The female lead was just about to walk off when we were still pulling the dress over her head. Her movement caused me to be pulled forward, and I had told her to stay still because there was still a needle, I needed to fix the back, and my hand caught the needle.

My bottom part of my palm had been sliced open and she quickly jerked forwards to get away from the blood that was now coming out of my hand. "I told you to stay still!" I shrieked at her. I turned and looked for something to stop the bleeding and found a thin black cloth and tied it around my left hand. It was still bleeding quite a bit. Pearl rushed to my side and picked up my hand. "Desiree' are you alright? Do we need someone to look at it?"

I continued to glare at the woman and shook my head. "Is someone going to finish my dress?" She wailed and my right hand clenched into a fist. "Well I can't! I have to go find someone to sew up my hand!"

Eleanor had now joined us now and she quickly started stitching up the Prima Donna's dress and Pearl told me to go fix myself up. The play was almost over, so she told me to go lie down. I left the backstage and managed to pump some water into a small bucket like thing and I waited for it to start boiling. It looked like I was going to need stitches, my hand was throbbing and aching, but the blood had stopped flowing. For now.

When I was in the 3rd grade I had been waiting in line to go in from recess, and there were kids all over the place trying to get in the right line. Someone had ran into me knocking me to the ground. I had been wearing shorts and small rock and embedded itself into my knee. I needed three stitches. Sewing my own hand up wasn't going to be easy, but what choice did I have? I saw exactly how they gave me stitches, of course that was with a curvy needle, and medical string, in this case, I would have to do with a straight needle and normal thread. Not very sanitary, but oh well, at least the gash was a straight gash, unlike the one in my knee, it was more like a hole.

Christian, my doctor friend, wouldn't approve, but if he was here, then he could do it for me, but I would just have to suffice for me doing it. I didn't want to go asking for a doctor to stitch up my hand, I had nothing to pay him with yet. Carrying the bucket of hot water with my right hand I went to the costume department. I was going to sanitize the needle and string, then once the water cooled I would try to clean my hand off a bit. It was still throbbing.

Laying out a small square of linen I found a needle and some black thread. On second though it would be good to have the thread wet, so I just dropped the needle down into the boiling water and waited. After several minutes I put my fingers in the water. It was still very warm, but not boiling hot as it was moments ago. I pulled the needle out and placed it on the linen.

Without taking the black cloth off from my hand I put it down in the water and let out a hiss through my teeth. It hurt to have my hand in water, and I took of the black wrappings. The water had already started to turn a pink color and the pain wasn't going away. How in the hell was I going to thread a needle with one hand?

By sticking the thread close to the eye I managed to get a little bit through and I wiggled the thread to make an inch through the other side. Now it was time to knot it. I would have to knot it after every stitch, it wasn't like sewing a dress where I could continually keep stitching. I sighed and slumped my shoulders. Damn stupid people, I hate stupid people. I closed my eyes and just took a relaxing breath. I didn't want to start sewing into my hand, but I would have to.

After a huge deep breath I pulled my hand out of the now cooling water. It was a sickly shade of dark pink and I tore my eyes away from the water and to my gashed open hand. Picking up the needle I brought it to my skin, but didn't pierce it. I was to much of a chicken. I couldn't do it. I moved the needle from my skin and placed it back on the linen. I would just have to let it heal some other way. I couldn't do it.

"Your not even going to numb it?" A voice rang right behind me, and I jumped and turned around to see no one there. Gah! I hated it when Erik threw his voice like that. I wasn't in the mood to be messed with. I was in pain. "Stop it Erik! How can I numb it? I don't have any supplies as you can see here I'm about to sew up my hand so either help me or get lost, I can't deal with both things at once."

A clucking noise came to my ears and I closed my eyes against the anger. I heard the swoosh of something being pushed back and saw Erik walk into the room. He was as imposing as ever, but I was still mad, so I didn't give way to his usual taunting. "Give me your hand." He said and I gently held my hurt hand out to him. He poured something very cold on it, and it burned my open cut and I hissed and brought it back to my chest.

"What was that?" I asked my hand still tingling.

"You can not stitch yourself up yet, what if there was an infection in your hand? It will also numb it so I can stitch it up for you."

Erik was right, my hand was starting to numb, and it felt weird because my fingers were not numb, it was the palm of my hand and my wrist that was growing numb. "You are going to fix my hand up? Why?"

"It looks like you are frightened, and I'm probably better skilled than you are. You should be thanking me."

Yeah that will be the day. "Fix me up first and we shall see." I muttered, and he grabbed my wrist and pulled it close to him, the movement made my hand throb and I gasped out in pain. He did that on purpose!

Erik picked up the needle and brought it to my hand. I closed my eyes, I didn't want to see what he was about to do, and I felt a slight pricking on my hand. It felt very weird though. It almost felt like something dull and flat had touched my skin, it was unnerving. After several minutes I opened my eyes to see Erik bending over my hand still working. I counted 7 stitches so far. Every once in a while I would hear a small snip as he knotted the thread and cut it off.

After a grand total of 9 stitches in my hand he was finished. "Now was that so bad?" He asked. My hand was still numb, but I could feel the skin being stretched over my hand, and it was uncomfortable. I guess I should thank him, otherwise I would be in a lot more pain. "Thank you Erik." I whispered. I was grateful for what he had done.

"You shall be careful doing your daily work, don't pull at your stitches, it will start itching after a while, but try to ignore it, that means your healing."

"Yeah I know I've had stitches before." I said examining my hand. It looked horrible. It was red and puffy and had 9 horrible black stitches poking out from my skin. Very gently he grabbed my hand and wrapped a clean white dry cloth around my stitches. He very carefully tied a knot on the back side of my hand, holding the cloth together. The numbing stuff he had poured on my hand was starting to wear off a bit, and my hand seemed to throb with every beat of my heart.

"Get some sleep and stop burning the midnight oil." Erik said and stood up from his chair next to me, and I did the same.

Turning to leave his words stopped me before I left. "Lord Montgomery was looking for you tonight, it's a good thing you had an injury he's very upset with you for breaking his evening plans. I could take care of him if you so wish."

I whirled around my eyes growing bigger. "Don't kill him Erik!" I said in shock.

Shrugging his shoulders he said, "If you wish." And left.

I sighed and made my way to the room I shared with Pearl and Eleanor, they were still not back yet. I crawled into bed and quickly went to sleep before my hand was in horrible pain.

**Yes it has been a while and I'm so sorry, but I've had a lot of person issues I've had to work through, and I just haven't been able to escape my own mind, but I'm back now, and I hope you like the new chapter. Special thanks go out to a few people: ****KellansLadyKatie09 for adding me to author alert, story alert, and adding this story to her favorite story list, and ****Quill of Thoughts for adding this story to their favorite story list. I also want to thank everyone who has reviewed my story, I really love reading what my fantastic readers think of the story, so if you have any comments, please let me know! Thanks for reading!**

**Desiree'**


	6. Beautiful Dresses

**Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera**

Chapter 6

Normally when I sleep I toss and turn frequently in the night rolling from one side of the bed to the other, usually plastering myself up against Chad, to which he tells me my body is like a furnace, and he has to climb out from under the covers, this night was no exception, and when I woke my hand felt like it was swollen and the stitches pulled uncomfortably against the skin. I would have a nasty scar on that hand for the rest of my life, I still had the scar from the 3 stitches I had in my knee and that was 15 years ago. I groaned and rolled over pulling my sore hand up to my chest, like that would really help.

Hearing the breathing change in the room, I knew one if not both the twins were now awake, I didn't even hear them come in, to which I was thankful, I was in pain already and it was probably much worse last night while I slept. "Desiree' are you awake?" I heard the soft whisper of Pearl or Eleanor, I couldn't quite tell their voices apart if I wasn't looking at them, even when I was looking at them, I still had a hard time telling the other one apart.

"Yes I'm awake." I said in the same quiet whisper, though I didn't know why, but when someone whispers to you, you whisper back. In the darkness I saw a head pop up to look at me and I heard the hiss of a lantern being lit, I shielded the light from my eyes with my good hand. "Eleanor wake up." I heard Pearl say to her twin sister and I saw Eleanor sit up and get ready for the day.

There was no way that I would be able to work today and thankfully we didn't have a show to put on, we would be behind, but Pearl and Eleanor helped me get ready, and I followed them keeping my hand close to my chest for protection and shuffled with them to the costume department. I really hated just sitting around, but what choice did I have? I could hold a needle with my right hand, but trying to sew one handed, well that was pretty much impossible, so I sat and watched as the twins started in on Lord Montgomery's suit for the ball, it was getting very close now.

If this was being selfish on my part, I didn't care, but I didn't want to have anything to do with his suit. "Oh Desiree' Lord Montgomery was looking for you last night." Pearl said with a smile, like I would like hearing about a man looking for me. "He came backstage looking for you, and was very disappointed that you two didn't get to go out, and we told him you have a suitor and you were busy, but he insisted on seeing you last night, and we could only stop him by telling him you had an injury and were taking care of it."

Erik had said as much to me last night, and I groaned slightly and remembered Erik's threat of 'taking care of him' though it wasn't like Erik hadn't ever killed anyone before, I did not want Erik to have to do such a horrible thing like that, especially for something so silly. What would I have to do about Lord Montgomery for him to leave me along? Get married? Ha, that was laughable.

"I think he will be looking for you at the ball." Pearl piped up and I looked at her with questioning eyes.

"And just what makes him think I will even be there?" I asked skeptically.

Both girls stopped working and looked up at me like I was stupid. "Of course you will be there, the seamstresses are always invited to see their hard work on the people, the managers insist that all four of us attend."

It felt like someone had just slapped me. I thought one night for certain that I wouldn't have to attend and see Lord Montgomery was at the ball, and I was sadly mistaken.

"We hope you don't mind, but we have already started on a dress for you." Eleanor said with huge smiles on her face, and I was dumbfounded.

"Really? Can I see it?" I asked getting slightly excited now.

Both girls jumped up at the same moment like their chair had been electrocuted and glided over to a secluded corner of the costume department. They pulled out a dress that was absolutely breath taking. I was beyond shock at this moment. It was a bright red that seemed to shine. There were pale pink roses stitched into the bodice, and the shoulder straps were an off shoulder thing instead of on top. There was a V for a neckline but it wasn't just a V it was like a small v that veered off into a big V then went to the shoulders. I could tell without even trying it on, it would hug my every curve until it hit my hips, then became very puffy. It looked like a huge bell had been hung on the bodice.

My eyes seemed to tear up. It was so beautiful and I didn't know what to say to the twins. "It should fit, we took the measurements from your other garments, but if you are feeling up to it we can try it on and see how it fits and make any adjustments we need to."

"When did you have time to do this?" I asked astounded.

"The night you had plans, we looked to see if you had anything suitable for the ball, and we couldn't find anything, so we took it into our own hands, we hope you don't mind." Pearl asked, and I shook my head and stood up to walk over to them.

As carefully as they could they helped me out of my normal clothing and into the beautiful dress they had made me. They must work very quickly, and they said they had already started on it, but the woman it was for changed her mind, and they just added a few touches to make it look more like me. They made the adjustments, well placed pins anyways, to the places they would need to take in, I had already lost weight from this not eating diet I was currently on.

When I was little my favorite color had been red, and I always loved wearing anything red, and a lot of shirts in my closet were red, I just thought it looked good on me with my pale skin and very dark hair. Then after I was back in my unflattering gray dress they set off back to work on Lord Montgomery's suit. Now that I had seen the dress they kept it out front so they could take care of the minor details and tailor it to fit perfectly.

"What will you two be wearing to the ball then?" I asked to keep from going mad from doing nothing. "Before our mother passed away she had designed a few dresses, she was a seamstress as well, and we are wearing those. We were able to keep them, but had to sell most of her stuff before we found employment here." Eleanor said.

I didn't know their mother had passed away. Maybe that was why they were here, no other jobs were available and this was just now opening. A lot of people probably didn't return to their jobs after the opera house was rebuilt, to many horrible memories of the night Erik went crazy and kidnapped Christine and burned the front part of the opera house down. It must be hard on them to not have a mother to look up to at such a young age. When I was 15 or 16 I thought I knew it all, I could support myself and live on my own, and when I did finally move out of my mother's house, the day I graduated, I found quickly that I was wrong.

There was bills to pay, dinner to cook, the house to clean, I had always taken for granted my mother coming home from a long day at work and just cooking dinner for me. Never once did I think about the electric bill being paid, it was definitely a wake up call when I moved out. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize." I mumbled. These girls were so young, they didn't need to deal with this sort of stuff yet.

"Yes it was rather horrible, but we've managed and we are thankful we have a place here. Would you like to see our dresses?"

I nodded my head. The two girls were beautiful in the drab clothing they were wearing now. They both had big beautiful blue eyes that seemed to match the sky. They both had silvery blond hair that was very long, way past my hair, that went below the middle of their backs, but not quite long enough for them to sit on it. Their features were very small, they were maybe 5'2'' and maybe 90 lbs soaking wet. Pearl had a small beauty mark above her left eyebrow, and Eleanor had a dark mark on the back of her right hand, it was a birthmark. That was the only way I could tell them apart by just looking at them.

Pearl had on a beautiful teal dress that was very flowing. The straps were three inches thick on her shoulders and just simply fell to the floor. The top layer was more of a sheer material, and the bottom seemed to fit her body. Not tight like the dress they had made for me, but you could see all the curves in her body. It was stunning on her and matched her eyes. Eleanor's was the exact same except hers was a white instead of a teal.

"You two are beautiful." I said with a smile. They could easily charm any guy in the place without even trying. They had already informed me that they both have dates, and they asked weather my suitor was taking me, and I started to sweat. This is where my lie could crumble into a million pieces, and before I had a chance to open my mouth Harriet walked in and saw the twins wearing their dress for the ball she scolded them and told them they could show off when they were not meant to work, and they curtsied and changed back into their dresses and got back to work.

Being under the eyes of Harried made me nervous to sit and do nothing.

"Let me see you hand child." She said to me, she had been informed of my 'accident' last night, and I carefully handed it over to her and she unwrapped the bandage. It was still throbbing. "I think you have had enough excitement for one day, perhaps you should go lie down, we can handle things today. You just rest up, we need you."

So I nodded my head, but had no way to wrap my hand back up and quietly went to my own room to sit on my bed. I rested my hand on my knee and looked at the ugly black threads sticking out of my palm. Just minutes of me sitting down and staring off at my own hand I heard the mirror in our room slide open. Erik stepped out of the mirror and clucked his tongue at me, and I had no idea what he was clucking at, so I just looked at him waiting to explain himself.

"Where are your bandages Desiree'?" He asked me, and I knew what he was clucking at.

"Harriet wanted to see the damage, and she sent me off, I didn't have time to wrap it up and now I left it behind." I explained.

He took a step into the room and reached his hand out for mine, and I placed it in his awaiting, gloved hand. Yesterday had been the first time I didn't see Erik dressed from head to toe, and I knew the only reason he wasn't wearing gloves was because he had planned on stitching me up. Besides how did he even know I had needed stitches, or that I didn't have my had wrapped up. Was he always watching me?

"How did you even know I was in here Erik?" I asked.

"I heard Harriet send you off, and I needed to change your bandage anyways." He said and pulled out a clean white cloth and wrapped it gently around my hand. There was times when Erik was incredibly gentle with me, then there were times when he was far to harsh for whatever I had done. Right now he was being incredibly gently with me, and I appreciated it. My hand was starting to burn with all the movement, and I winced when he tied the cloth together, and he raised his green eyes to me.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked softly, and I was again taken aback by his gentle behavior.

"It's just burning a bit, but I think it's from moving it around so much, it feels like the stitches are pulling at my skin." Which is exactly what they were doing. "Do you think I'll have the stitches taken out before the ball, I was just informed that I have to go."

His eyes seemed to be burning holes into my head. "You didn't know you needed to attend the ball?" I shook my head no.

"Pearl and Eleanor have taken it upon themselves to make me a gown, and it's really beautiful, I've never worn anything that pretty except my wedding dress. There is a problem though, they want to know if my 'suitor' is taking me. Should I just tell them he has a previous engagement to attend to?"

Erik quickly stood up and walked over to the mirror. "Do what you think will work best for you." He spat out harshly and I looked at him confused. What was that all about? Without another word he opened the mirror and quickly left.

I sat staring at the mirror with my jaw slack. What had just happened? He had been so nice and gentle with me only moments ago to get mad about something and stalk off? Rose and I had always talked about men having PMS, it wasn't just a girl thing. Her dad and Chad were sometimes very cranky and for no reason, so we called it male PMS, was Erik going through something similar? What had I said that set him off, I had just asked a question, he was the person I went to with my problems. It wasn't like I could get on the phone and text Rose or even get online and chat with her.

Laying down in bed I twisted around so I could see the mirror. I was hoping Erik would come gliding out like he normally does, but nothing. I didn't hear him speak to me, I didn't see him lurking in the room...just nothing. I was incredibly hurt, I hadn't done a single thing to him and he flew off the handle.

Not being able to take the silence anymore I got off the bed and walked right in front of the mirror. "Erik if you are still there please come out." I said and placed my sore hand against the glass. It was nice and cool and it actually felt kind of nice against my hot hand, though it was painful to have anything pressed against my stitches. Minutes of silence went by and still nothing. I took my hand off the glass and sighed.

Why was I hurting so much? I really hated to hurt people, even if it was on accident, and I had somehow hurt Erik and that was driving me mad. Today was the 5th day of me being here and it seemed I had somehow managed to make him mad every day, was this something that would keep reoccurring? I already considered Erik to be a dear friend. What else could I think when he was the only one I could turn to who knew the truth about me? Maybe that was why I was hurting so much, because he was my friend already, and I hated hurting people around me.

Returning to the bed I slumped down on the mattress and rested my back against the wall staring into the mirror willing Erik to come out, but nothing happened. The door did open and Pearl and Eleanor stood there arm in arm carrying a small plate for me, it had lunch on it. They sat down with me on the bed and talked to me. Well they talked, I listened and ate my food. It was nice to have some distraction from Erik at the moment, but once they left, I was alone wishing Erik would come out and talk to me.

For the first time since being here, I decided to go exploring. I still didn't know the opera house as well as I would like. I couldn't go to work, so what else could I do? My first stop was to the stage where they were holding practice. I loved to watch the ballerina's dance about, there was magic in their dancing. It was several minutes that I stood and watched the dancers before I ventured off again. I didn't get lost though, I knew where the general direction was for everything. I skipped the other rooms, I knew what they would look like and I ended up behind the opera house in the stables.

Horses was something I had always been interested in when I was younger, and I still loved them to this day, I just didn't have an obsession like when I was younger, and I reached out to pet a very beautiful stallion. He was jet black with just a puff of white on his chest. After a few moments, I decided I better head back to the costume department to see how Pearl and Eleanor were doing.

It took me a lot longer to return then to get there because it seemed that practice was done and all the dancers were heading back to their rooms. By the time I reached the costume department, they were already gone, and I sighed. Just as I was turning to leave I felt strong arms around my middle and I jumped. Whoever it was hand my arms pinned to my side in a vice like grip, and there was no getting out of those arms.

I tried to turn around and see who was holding me, and they squeezed me tighter which made my hand throb against the bandage. I felt a cloth being held over my mouth and nose, and my first reaction was to try and not breath, but I was panicking and I took in great gasps, my arms and legs feeling very distant and I finally passed out.

**Well I was about halfway through this chapter and I though it's really boring, and so I decided to end on a cliffy! You can yell at me if you want, tell me how evil I am haha! I'm putting several small hints about something that will come out huge in a few chapters to come, and I know one of my readers already know what it is...yay Cinnamon...so if you think you know what it is, please tell me, and if your right I'll let you know. Time for special thanks: Samxwazxhere thanks for adding this story to your favorites, and Phantoms-only-Christine thank you for adding my story to your favorite story list, and putting this story on story alert, that really means a lot to me. I want to give a special shout out to a real Erik in my life, even though he doesn't read fan fics, he was in a horrible car accident, but is doing better, so if you read this, just keep him in your thoughts even if it is for a moment. Thank you to the few people who did review my story, I love reading what my readers have in mind for the story.**

**Desiree'**


	7. Escaping

**Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera**

Chapter 7

When I finally woke up I was in a bed I didn't recognize, and then I remembered what had happened and my eyelids flew open and I tried to sit up in bed, but my head felt like it weighted a ton, and when I tried to push myself up I used my left hand and I hissed from the burning of putting a lot of pressure on my stitches. I tried to shake the pain out of my hand which caused it to hurt more.

"Stay still you silly woman." A male's voice I didn't recognize rang out to me. The room was so dark, there were no lights and I had no idea where I was.

"Where am I?" I asked in a frightening voice.

"You are where you are, so don't ask questions."

Being told what to do had never went well with me, but I was way to frightened and confused about my location to back talk him and fight back. I started to make sure nothing was broken, so I moved my feet around, and my legs a bit, then my fingers and arms. My left hand was burning where I had tried to push myself up, and my head felt like it was lead, but I seemed physically fine otherwise.

The bed I was laying on was very uncomfortable and I wondered again where I was, but that thought was pushed from my mind when I heard the voice ring out again. "Here eat this." He said and a tray was placed on my lap. I looked at it, and I looked at the person who gave it to me. I had no idea who he was, but it was really hard to get a good look at him, the room was almost pitch black.

"How do I know it's safe to eat it?" Thoughts of poison were rushing through my head, but why would they wait to kill me by poisoning me and wait for me to wake up? If they had wanted to kill me then they should have done it while I was still passed out. The man tapped the tray again. "Eat."

Looking at the food, it looked like there was food that I was more used to than the stuff I got at the Opera House. There was a big red apple, corn on the cob, and what looked like a piece of fish. As I groped around for a fork it felt very odd, it was very smooth and it felt polished. I held it close to my face and saw that it was real silver. What the hell was going on! Who would kidnap me and serve me with real silver? Looking at the plate I saw that it wasn't like a real plate it was china, and I looked around more on the tray there was a mug with a little saucer and it was real china too. Picking up the mug I brought it to my lips and tasted tea.

As soon as the tea hit my lips my stomach grumbled, I really was hungry and I dug into what I thought was fish, and I was right, and I quickly ate the corn on the cob and the apple. It was so good, I hadn't had anything this good in a long time. By the time I was finished I looked up and didn't see anyone in my room anymore, so I swung my legs over the side of the bed and placed the now empty tray on the end of the bed.

I got up and felt around for the door and my fingers touched the wood and I found the handle. I gave it a pull, but it didn't open. "If someone's out there, please help me!" I yelled out. As soon as these words left my lips the door was jerked open, and there stood one person I didn't want to see. Lord Montgomery.

"You! You brought me here? Why?" My voice rang out and I was so angry.

Walking into the room I shuffled back and he closed the door behind him. "I told you that we would be together, you are here now that's all that matters." He said grabbing my good hand and I jerked it out of his hand.

"Stay away from me!" I shrieked at him and backed up until I hit the wall.

"Desiree' don't be like that, I can provide so much better for you than your current suitor, all you have to do is give me a chance." He said and gave me a smile, like this was what I wanted to hear and I looked at him with my lip curled up. "Ah, I see, well yes it will take time, but don't fret, the wedding is in a few days so you can get used to it then."

The wedding?!? Did he just say that, what in his right mind made him think I would agree to marry him? I had to get away from this man who was clearly insane. If I was going to be able to get out of this I would have to act like this was all fine and dandy. "What about my things? I'll need a dress that's tailored to fit me, and I want Pearl and Eleanor to make it for me." If I could get back to the opera house, I know I could find Erik even if I had to go running through the halls screaming his name at the top of my lungs, Erik would get me out of this.

"We have better tailors than those two." Lord Montgomery said. If I was going to make this look and sound like she didn't want then she would need to be convincing.

Biting her lip she looked at him, and shifted her feet around. "Is there something bothering you Desiree'?"

"Well, yes, I mean you are going to be my husband." And as much as I hated it, I gave him a smile. "What should I call you?"

He let out a laugh and brought his hand up to trace my cheekbones and I tried to keep the look of disgust off my face, I just barely managed it. "Kent." He said with a smile, and I returned it, though I thought I did, it felt fake to me, but he seemed to accept it.

"I'm sure your tailors are wonderful, but I know how those two work, and they have really good ideas, besides I'll need to pick up my personal property."

Kent seemed to think about this for a while. "Well what you is what you shall get, I will send for them to come here and bring your stuff here, now that you are accepting my offer I can move you to your room now, it's much better than these quarters I've placed you in."

My heart fell, he wanted them to come here, and I didn't want to take the chance that I couldn't get back to the opera house, and get back to Erik. He could protect me. "Okay will you send for them right away then? They will need plenty of time to get my dress ready, I don't want to leave it to the last minute."

With a nod of his head he snapped his fingers several times and a woman who could only be a maid, I could tell from her outfit, appeared in the door. "This is Piper, your new servant. Piper show her to her new room and get anything else she needs." Kent said and with one more smile to me, he turned on his heel and walked out of the door.

Could I trust her to keep my secrets of wanting to leave? No way, I didn't know her at all yet. Piper curtsied to me and I didn't really know what to do, so I just gave her a grin and she turned and without a word to me left, so I followed her. It looked like I had been in the servants quarters, and I followed her up the stairs. I had to admit, this house was amazing when we got to the ground floor. Then it was more stairs and she showed me to a door that had a door right next to it. "This will be your room, and the next is the masters room." She said and opened the door to my room.

Inside the room was beautiful and it looked like it had everything I would want, at least for this time period. "Do you require anything else?" Piper asked me and I shook my head, so she curtsied again and backed out of the room.

Would I be able to sneak out of here? It wasn't like I had never snuck out before. When I was 15 I had been grounded for life and I just couldn't take it anymore, so I would sneak out until dinner then sneak back in, and after I was grounded to my room after dinner I would sneak out once more then back in to go to sleep. But I was on the ground floor when I used to do that, I was three flights up now, that would be a long fall, especially since one of my hands I couldn't use.

Letting out a sigh I walked to the bed and flopped down on it. I wanted out of here, I didn't want to worry about marrying some guy who was deranged, I didn't even want to worry about a guy at all. I guess I had been leaning on Erik for far to long now, I should have learned to take care of myself in this time period, I shouldn't have waited for Erik to just always show up.

Night had fallen and I was still on the bed, I could see the sun going down, I heard a soft knocking on the door. "Yes." I asked and raised my head up off the bed. Piper walked in and curtsied again. "Ma'am Lord Montgomery is requesting your presence for supper." I groaned.

"I'm not hungry." I said, which was a lie, I just didn't want to see him. "I don't feel well I think I'm just going to go to sleep so please tell him that." I laid back down on the bed and heard the door close. After a few moments I heard another knock and I groaned. I didn't want to see Piper. Getting up off the bed I threw open the doors and saw Piper there who curtsied once more. "Lord Montgomery is requesting entrance." And without another word being said he strolled in and I took a step back.

"Are you ill?" He said looking concerned. "Or do you just wish to go out for a night on the town? You probably need to stretch your legs. There is an opera tonight if you wish to attend we shall."

There wasn't supposed to be an opera tonight. "No the opera is tomorrow." I said shaking my head.

"You slept through then entire day from when we brought you here, so if you hurry and get ready we should just make the opening act. Piper help her." He said and snapped his fingers and then he turned and walked to the door that connected my room to his room and vanished through the door. Piper started taking my clothes I was wearing off and I tried to protest, but I remembered this was just what they were supposed to do in this time period, and I felt embarrassed that someone else was undressing me and was planning on dressing me, but she did it so quickly, I couldn't really argue. As soon as the last of me was dressed then she started doing my hair. I was just glad that he was taking me to the opera house, I would make sure to find Erik there.

Once we were both presentable we were ushered into a carriage and to the opera house. Kent was right, we just made the opening act, and I had to sit there the entire time and act like I was actually enjoying myself, and as soon as the intermission lights I jumped up. "Oh I must use the powder room." And he nodded his head and I calmly walked out of our box seats. As soon as I wasn't visible to him anymore I started running to the back stage, and people were staring at me, but I couldn't care less.

Would Erik be looking for me, or would he assume I had just vanished and care less? I hadn't even reached the backstage area before I felt a rough hand on my arm jerk me back into the shadows and I let out an ear piercing scream. Was Kent's people grabbing me again knowing that I would make a run for it at the first chance I got.

"Desiree' be quiet." Erik said and placed a gloved hand over my mouth to keep me from screaming and I did stop screaming, I just felt relieved that Erik was here, I thought I would have to look for him for a long time before I found him. Reaching up I took his hand off my mouth to let him know that I had stopped screaming. With his other hand still gripping my arm he pulled me into a dark room. "Just where have you been?" Erik snarled in my face and it caused me to flinch. I still wasn't used to his dramatic mood swings, especially when he was angry.

"Please Erik I need you help." I panted from having just ran all the way here.

"I'm only going to ask you once more, where have you been?" He asked in anger again and I held up my hand.

"Lord Montgomery." I said in a pant. "He kidnapped me. He thinks I'm going to marry him and he wanted to take me out for a night on the town, I knew if I could get here you would help me get away from him."

Letting go of my arm he stormed around the dark room, I couldn't see a thing, but I could hear his stomping, then I heard a crashing noise and it sounded like he threw something into the wall, but it wasn't glass. I just waited for his hissy fit to get over with, I didn't really want to interrupt him. Finally after several moments he seemed to calm down and I could feel he was right in front of me. "You didn't go with him willingly?" He asked and I shook my head not sure if he could see me or not. "It seems that this Lord Montgomery will need to pay for what he has done."

I knew what Erik's idea of payback was and I didn't really think that Kent should die from what he did, but at the same time I did think he deserved a very harsh payback, he did kidnap me after all. "What are you planning on doing?" I asked him.

"Don't you fret Desiree' I have many ideas on how to get my vengeance." Erik said. I heard the soft music signaling the show was going to continue and my eyes got wide, I wasn't about to go back to him and act like everything was alright. "Erik! Where do I go? What do I do?" I heard Erik let out a sigh, and I could almost picture his face right now. I felt Erik grasp my elbow and lead me away from the door, probably to a trap door and when it was opened he led me across it.

"For now you will stay with me until I can get this sorted out, I can't have you walking around getting taken again."

Until I knew what was about to happen I guess I would be safest with Erik, besides I had been told that no one had gained access to his house since the night the opera house burned down. I didn't really want to be hidden away though, but this was probably for the best, I would at least be safe.

So I followed Erik down the stone passageway and down a lot of stairs until we got to the lake and he rowed us across. He hadn't said a single word the entire way down and across the lake. He was probably thinking about all the horrible things he could do to Kent to make him pay, I knew how Erik's mind worked. He had a very dark mind.

Erik's house was how I had always imagined it, and he led me through the halls without giving me a tour and I was ushered into a room that was very fashionable. It looked like a woman's room and I knew this must have been Christine's room, but it was well kept, it wasn't even dusty. Had he dusted it, it must be hard for him to come into this room and not see Christine here. Just as Erik was about to leave I called out to him. "Erik, what are you going to do to him?" I asked softly.

"I will do what I need to do, but I need to take care of it now before he leaves, besides he will be looking for his fiance."

I nearly gagged at that word, I wasn't his fiance, but Erik had turned around and left. He looked very angry, and I didn't want to be the one at the receiving end of his angry side. When the door closed I walked to it and tried to open it, I would follow Erik and stop him before anything horrible happened, but the door was locked and I let out an angry wail. Well at least I was safe, that was the important thing.

My stomach gurgled, I hadn't eaten dinner, but there was nothing I could really do being locked in a room, so I decided to look around. There was a huge chest and I opened it and looked inside. There were tons of dresses that were just beautiful and I took it out. It looked like it would actually fit me which was odd, but I put it back. After looking around the tiny room for several minutes I finally decided it was best to just sit on the bed and wait for Erik's return.

After what seemed like two hours Erik still hadn't come back and I was exhausted so I looked in the chest and found some night clothes that fit me so I changed into them and crawled into the bed. Was this a punishment for running out on Erik, even though I hadn't ran out on him? I hated being kept waiting and he seemed to like making me wait.

**Yes it's been a little while, but I got a new job and today was the first day to actually get to write. This chapter is leading up to some interesting times, and I can't wait to get them all out. Some special thanks: Nataliia for adding my story to your alert list. Queen of Hearts 1995 for adding my story to your favorite list and story alert list. And last but not least twihard36 for adding my story to your favorite story list. So I hope you like this chapter, I had intended on taking it somewhere else, but I didn't like it, so I did it completely over and I don't think it's the best, but it is leading to this really awesome idea I have. Please, please, please review and let me know what you think.**

**Desiree'**


	8. Torture

**Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera**

Chapter 8

Erik's POV

It had been three very long years since Christine left me. I had no intention of living after that night, but my body had other ideas in mind. I had even stopped eating but I lived on, and after several days of not eating or drinking and the unbearable heartbreak I knew I would get my vengeance settled. I didn't let people push me around, I was the great Opera Ghost, the Phantom of the Opera! In my one stupid moment I let her slip through my fingers and she showed me that she didn't care for me, and her kiss was really the kiss of goodbye, or to me it was the kiss of death for it felt like I was dead after she left, even if I was technically alive.

All those three years later I rebuilt my empire and I was now as powerful as I had once been, and I was still feared, but now I had the respect I deserved. The new managers respected me, even if it was out of fear, they knew what I was capable of and I wouldn't hesitate to bring down my opera house once more if things got out of hand.

Now that Christine was gone from my life I felt empty but I was powerful and I was drunk on it. I knew I would never love another after Christine, but my love and obsession for her slowly faded in time. I would always love her until the day I die, but I wasn't in love with her anymore, what else could anyone expect, I locked myself down under the opera and tried to think of her as little as possible, the pain was still great when I did.

When Desiree' came crashing down into my life I was completely taken aback. I never wanted to have to deal with another woman's problems again, except for maybe my childish feelings of scaring the ballet rats, but that was just all fun and games. Now I was responsible for this woman who seemed to not know what she wants in life. She was utterly helpless and easily distracted, but she was magnificent and I didn't want to be around her, she caused all these problems for me that I didn't want to deal with, but I couldn't keep away from her. I always know what is going on in my opera house, but I kept an even closer eye on Desiree' for she seemed to always need it.

Being from another time was still working it's way into my mind and I just couldn't grasp it, even the simplest things like drawing a bat she couldn't do on her own. When she had her own hand sliced open and watching her try to stitch it up herself, I couldn't believe it. Why would someone do something so stupid? It would have been so simple to call upon a physician, but not, she was going to do it herself, and I just couldn't let her.

These feelings were not new to me, for I had experienced them once before and I hated every second of it. I was not in love, no that was the wrong word for it, I was intrigued, but her mannerisms were what was pulling me back into the pool of what seemed like love. When she had ran away to the first waiting man's arms I was beyond outraged, and it had happened right under my nose. Damn myself for getting caught up in other things, my gut had told me to watch her and she slipped through my fingers. When she cam back to my opera house with Lord Montgomery my very blood seemed to boil and sizzle under my skin and I have no idea how I managed to keep from taking her right then and there with her date sitting next to her, but as she excused herself I followed.

As Desiree' tore off down the hallways I was slightly perplexed as to why she would do this, and it was so easy to grab her and pull her off into a darkened area where she explained this was not of her choosing. The darkness that had entered his body seemed to lighten somewhat, but then darken immediately, I already knew that Lord Montgomery would pay for what he had done.

Putting Desiree' up in Christine's room had been a snap decision, for he had several rooms that were empty and never having been in use except to keep clean. As I walked away I knew she would try to follow so I locked the door, she didn't need to see death. No woman needed to see death, and a death would be taking place. My hands balled up into fists at the though of Lord Montgomery touching, caressing, and even looking at her, oh yes, he would pay.

Of course since Desiree' had escaped from him he was probably looking for her, it had been twenty minutes since she left him. Using my passageways I quickly found him. He was sitting in his box seat, but I soon learned that he had seen one of his servants out looking for Desiree. Perfect, he was now alone. How easy it would be to capture him, it was almost like the Gods of evil were looking up on him and making his path so much easier.

The only decision now was to either announce my presence now and see the panic and fear in his face, or just take him and do it later. No, now would be better, once he was where I was going to take him, he wouldn't see me properly, the glass wasn't ideal. "Enjoying yourself Lord Montgomery?" I asked in a menacing voice and threw it so it sounded like it was coming to him from his opera glasses.

Seeing him jump and look around caused me to give a laugh that I knew would curdle his blood. "Just because you are a Lord you think you can own everything you want, well you have made a dire mistake, one mistake that you will pay for with your life." This time my voice was coming out of the walls. Finally I stepped into his box letting the dark curtains fall to a close behind me. Seeing the look of horror on his face I knew I had made the right decision, I lived for the fear.

Lord Montgomery reached for his sword as he stood up and it was all to easy to give a strong blow to the back of the head, right on the base of his neck and he crumbled like the piece of trash he was. Thankfully I had done some remodeling of my own while my opera house was being rebuilt and I had made things more accessible to me, if I so wished and right now I needed my easy access points. Bending down I picked up Lord Montgomery and threw him over my shoulder and used the small lever in the folds of fabric around the box to open the hallow column that I slipped into and shut the door behind me.

I was getting impatient for he would wake up soon, and I needed everything taken care of before that happened, my room had been in disuse for such a long time, but I knew my design was still working, I had built it after all. Only one was in existence, and I took great pride in it, even if I hadn't used it in years, it was still perfect.

Finally I had reached the darkness of my house and I didn't bother to light any candles, I could see in the dark. When I had finally reached the particular door I was looking for I kicked it open, not bothering to be gentle with Lord Montgomery, in fact I made sure to slam his head into the doorjamb, though that would be the least of his worries. Since I wasn't taking care of being gentle I dropped him to the stone floor and the thump he made when he fell caused me great pleasure. Normally I would have taken his sheath, but not this time, if he wanted to use it, then maybe it would be better, but then he could cut down the noose, and then he would have to impale himself on his own sword. Would that be better? I'll leave it for him, lets see if he is as cowardly as I though.

Turning around I closed the door and I knew it would lock behind me, that was the way I designed it, and there would be no escaping until he was dead, he wouldn't even be able to find the door. My design was far to perfect for escape. Before Lord Montgomery woke I stopped by Desiree's room and I could see her sitting on the bed looking rather bored, though she had gone through the bureau. Those clothes in there were indeed for her, when she first appeared I had to purchase clothing for her, and I had stopped at the few things she has now, but the next day I got more. Maybe my subconscious was telling me what I was now starting to realize.

Back to the task at hand I turned around and made my way up two flights of stairs until I was sitting in my viewing room, and I pushed the button and the thick mirror was pushed aside and I saw Lord Montgomery still laying on the floor. If I had so wished I could watch him through the mirror, but I wanted him to see me as he was going to be cooked alive. My mirror room could drive a man crazy in a matter of hours, or days if I so wished. I could control the temperature in there. A part of me wanted to drag this out, but I thought I would be merciful today, I would only make him suffer for hours, so in my seat I turned the knob to the highest it would go.

Now thinking about it, while I was waiting for Lord Montgomery to wake, I remembered the last time this was in use, it was on Christine's now husband. He had stupidly followed me trying to be brave for Christine into my mirror room. I was the only living soul to know there was a trigger that would allow me access out of it though at the time I'm not sure why I put it in there, but it's better to be safe than sorry. If someone wanted to throw me into my own torture chamber there would be a very surprised dead man moments after I was released, for they would pay.

Of course Raoul had escaped with the help of Madam Giry, for she knew how to gain entrance and she was smart enough to leave the door open. Blast that woman. Though I couldn't have let any harm come to her, she had saved my life after all, and she had cared for me as the mother I never had. She was still employed here, and her daughter had married a man above her status, I had made sure of that, so she would not be performing on stage anymore. Since that night where I burned my own opera house down Madam Giry kept her distance from more, more so than before anyways. Maybe that was why she hadn't made herself known to Desiree' as of yet, though it was possible that the managers hadn't told anyone I made them employ Desiree' so Madam Giry would have no need to deal with Desiree'.

I continued to let my thoughts drift until I saw Lord Montgomery stirring on the stone ground and I focused my entire attention to Lord Montgomery a smile coming to my lips. I made sure to stand so when I turned on the lights, he could see me in the small window. It took another ten minutes for him to really wake and I let my voice surround him in a booming manor.

"Lord Montgomery your sins have caused you to be brought to my torture room, may your soul rot in hell." I knew to Lord Montgomery my voice would sound like it was ten times louder, thought Desiree' wouldn't be able to hear me, and as I said these words he clasped his hands to his ears and let out a yell that was lost in my own voice. "You are lucky for you have two ways to die, either by taking the quick way and eventually hang yourself." I slammed my hand into the switch to drop the noose for him to see. "Or you can cut it down and eventually impale yourself on your own sword." His hands were still on his ears and he was now shaking his head. He was yelling something as I was talking, and I choose to ignore him.

As soon as I stopped talking I pulled down the huge bar that was for the heat and let out another cold laugh. When the lights came on Lord Montgomery could see me as I stood in the window, the temperature in that room already five degrees warmer, it was going to get very hot very fast. Lord Montgomery got off his knees and stood up, looking for a way out of the room, but of course he couldn't find one. He drew his sword and cut the noose down, yes he was a coward and spit on it. Not very gentleman like.

"Now you let me out now and I might give you mercy." He yelled up at the window and I let out another laugh at his threat. He could threaten me all he wanted, he would never get the chance to do anything about it ever again.

The temperature was supposed to rise very fast and get to a temperature of 66 degrees Celsius in a matter of an hour and a half, and it usually took a man 3 to 4 hours of that heat before he went mad. I was going to have a very exciting 3 hours in front of me. Already Lord Montgomery had shrugged out of his jacket for it was now 20 degrees more than it had been minutes ago. He was starting to sweat as well, for he swiped at his brow. "Why is this happening to me?" He yelled up at the window and I suddenly wished Desiree' was here now and I could show him exactly why, but she didn't need to see death. "Because of your ways. You think you can own and do whatever you please and I'm here to show you that you can't. No one will take Desiree' away from me, I will not go through that pain again."

It wouldn't matter weather I told Lord Montgomery of how I felt, he would be dead in a few hours and at hearing this was about Desiree' he paled. "Your the suitor she spoke of?" He spat out, which I gave him credit for because I knew his mouth was probably very, very dry. Of course there was no real suitor, but for the sake of argument he nodded his head, and he knew that his white mask would be glaring in the bright lights. This was the only electric in his house, and his opera house contained electric for the stage and a few rooms, like the Prima Donna's room, but he preferred the light of a candle than the harsh glow of electric lighting.

One of the designs of his mirror room was that it would get very hot very fast in the torture chamber, but say nice and cool in his viewing room, so he watched as Lord Montgomery removed his shirt stockings and shoes. It was soon after this that he removed his trousers, he was now in the buff, as most men were when they died in this room. Another one of the humiliating effects of not only dying by cooking alive, but being naked and feeling that humiliation. Since he had cut down the noose he would have to die by his own sword, thus even more humiliating.

Lord Montgomery had been trying to break the mirror's, which of course were far too thick to be broken, had sat down on the ground and tried to kick out at the glass, which was stupid because if he couldn't break it by his hands, what would make him think he could with his bare feet, and as he touched the glass again he let out a piercing scream. The glass was very, very hot now as they reverberated the light from every angle. "Yes it's quit hot, you shouldn't touch." I said just to mock him even more, and his eyes trailed up to the window.

Bending over he grabbed his long hair and tried to pull it out of his head, the madness was already starting to sink in. Many men have died in my torture chamber and each man eventually was delirious and he wondered what he was now starting to see. Some men saw things like deserts, with a waterfall where they would always try to cool off in, and would always end up flinging themselves against the glass burning their skin. Some people would see people and talk to their delusions, what would Lord Montgomery see? What would he try to do?

After half an hour of him pulling out his hair, the torture chamber was nearly the temperature of the highest setting. Lord Montgomery had actually managed to pull out great clumps of his own hair for it was now scattered across the room, where he had managed dragged himself all around the circular room.

Patience wasn't one of the things I was good at, but this was very entertaining, so I could stand and watch him as he crawled around the baking room ripping his own hair out. I knew soon that he would be seeing his hallucinations, it was only a matter of time, and just like I though he started to call out.

"Mother! Help me!" He shrieked holding out his hand. I know knew he was calling out to his mother, and I wondered what she looked like. Maybe I should stop by his house and see for myself later. Lord Montgomery dragged himself to one of the glass walls and pulled himself up screaming the entire time, and when he was finally on his feet he turned and started to slowly make his way to the mother he was seeing. His arms, chest and legs were a deep reddish purple where he had burned himself, even some of the skin seemed to be already peeling back on his hands and chest.

"Mother, please." He said in a moan as he slipped and fell holding his hand out to his invisible mother. "Don't let me die like this." He panted. Then suddenly his eyes popped out and he looked positively mad with half his hair ripped out of his head, and him being naked and purplish red over his entire body. "NO!" He screamed and started to scoot backwards shaking his head. What had his hallucinations told him to do? Kill himself? Hallucinations were our subconscious ways of telling us what our brain were to tired to make us realize.

Finally Lord Montgomery burst down into tears, though it was more like dry sobbing for all the liquid in his body was dried up and he was shaking his head in denial for whatever his hallucinated mother was telling him to do. It had now been two hours since I turned on the heat and he stopped his sobbing and started to crawl to his pants where his sword was and he shakily drew his sword out and just looked at it. Now here was the fun part. Would he try to cut his throat or stab himself in the stomach? His strength was starting to fail him as he tried to stand up, but couldn't manage it so he sat there with the sword in his hands, but something unexpected happened.

Instead of him trying to kill himself he tried to kill the hallucination for he was violently swinging his sword through the air letting out what would have normally been a scream, but his voice was so weak and dry that it was more of an audible whisper. "I will not die this way." He managed to get out, and I wondered if he had killed his hallucination mother for he had stopped swinging the sword and he lay on the stone panting. Suddenly he scooted himself backwards I knew it was because he didn't want to lay in a pool of blood that wasn't really there.

Now that Lord Montgomery's hallucinated mother was now dead I wondered what he would start to see again, and I soon found out for he started screaming, if you could call that screaming. "NO NO!!! No your dead, not me! I killed you mother! Your dead, not me. NOT ME!" Lord Montgomery screamed again and started swinging his sword again, but the strength had left him and he was only able to move his sword slightly and he let out a scream of rage.

I knew it wouldn't be much longer before he killed himself, he was completely mad at this point and time and I scooted closer to the glass to watch every second of it. Finally Lord Montgomery picked up his sword in a shaky hand and started to dry cray again. Very slowly he brought his sword up to his throat and pressed against it and he let out a sob and jerked his arm to the right and blood slowly ran down his neck and he fell over backwards the sword dropping form his fingers. I was surprised he had enough strength to actually do it.

Real blood was slowly spilling from his body and I knew he was dead. Standing still for almost three hours I stretched my arms out to the side and I reached over and yanked down the switch and the lights went out, and I pushed another switch and several doors opened letting out the hot air. Now I would have to take care of the body and clean up my torture chamber. I quickly walked down the stairs and I bent down and picked up the now lifeless body and I walked with his naked body out of my home and through one of the side doors that led to the back alley behind my opera house and dumped his naked body there, he would be found easily for I made no effort to hid his body.

Once I was back in my home I grabbed a pail and rags and I walked into my now cooling mirror room and started to scrub off the blood from the ground and when that was done I gathered up his clothing and bloody sword and with my pail I dumped his clothing next to his body outside and I dumped the pail of now bloody water out. Walking back into my home I dumped the pail in the kitchen and walked to my organ.

My emotions were running through my fingers as I played out my anger. Seeing Lord Montgomery's death just didn't seem to let my get rid of my anger I was feeling, but this was helping and I continued to pound out my own music letting my anger slide out of my body and down my fingers, then my anger, for now, was gone and I was feeling at ease with myself and my music turned to something sweeter, more passionate and I threw myself into the music feeling the passion not only from my fingers, but in my entire body from the very music I was playing. It felt good to be in control again.

**So I decided to write this chapter through Erik's pov and include the torture and death of Lord Montgomery since my awesome readers have been very vocal of their hate for him. I did have a little bit of my awesome idea at the very end of the story, but you will have to wait for me to update it next week because it needs to be in Desiree's pov for the idea to really work :D So I have a few special thanks to give out: Wisher Pulizer for adding my story to your alert list, and Emzx for adding my story to your alert list, you guys rock. Also thank you to all my faithful reviewers, you guys really do make my day, and now I'm going to use a guilt trip on you guys to make you review, Friday was my birthday so if you want to get me a b-day gift then review :P. Oh and thanks to Katie for talking to me about weather I should put Erik's pov in here or not, you rock!**

**Desiree'**


	9. Putting Me In My Place

**Disclaimer: I do now own Phantom of the Opera...on a side note, I have bumped up the rating from the last chapter since it was pretty dark...**

Chapter 9

Desiree's POV

I wasn't asleep for very long, I could tell because when I woke I was still very, very tired and now I was disorientated from not really knowing where I was. The music that woke me seemed to be pouring right into me and I felt hate like I've never felt before course through my body and I got out of the bed and my hands balled up into fists and my stitches pulled where I was curling my hands up and I screamed, more in outrage and anger than anything. I stomped around the room and I picked up a glass figurine and threw it as hard as I could against the room and it made an ugly sound as it shattered on the wall and glass cascaded to the ground.

Why was I so angry? I wasn't mad at anyone, just angry and then I realized it must be the music. Angry music and I knew it must be Erik playing it. With Erik talking he could put me under a spell basically and it seemed his music had the same effect but to a more powerful degree and I was shaking with rage from the music, I couldn't help it and I stomped over to the door and started pulling on the knob and it wouldn't budge so I kicked it and hit it with my fists and when it wouldn't open I became more outraged and continued to fling myself against the solid door screaming at the top of my voice.

The sounds that were being ripped through my throat was making me horse and my throat raw and tears streamed down my face. Angry tears, but I ignored them for the time. I pressed my back to the door and slid down and put my hands over my ears trying to block out the hateful music that was making me feel murderous. All thoughts of sleep vanished from my mind. I griped my hair and covered my ears but it didn't help one little bit. I started to rock trying to calm myself but I was still so mad it wasn't working. How much longer could this go on for? How long could Erik continue to feel angry and take his anger out through his music which was being taken out on me?

All this music was making me madder than I had ever been. Angrier than when I was engaged and my ex fiance cheated on me. Madder than when my parents made me choose between them who I wanted to live with when I was a kid. Angrier than when my own father told me I was a horrible daughter, and that I was betraying him.

It seemed that he could be angry for a long time because the music continued for a long time and my voice was almost completely gone and my face was red and tear streaked. My head was throbbing where I had banged the back of my head against the door as I was rocking back and forth, and my left hand felt like it was on fire where I had used my hand to try and block out the hateful sound and bang away on the door and anything else I could get my hands on.

When his music turned to something sweeter and more romantic I felt the offending anger slide out of my body, but now it was being replaced with heat and passion and I was by myself! This was just as bad as when he was angry. I was feeling the heat in my lower stomach. How could music make me feel like I was being intimate? I hated being this powerless to Erik, he had so much power over me. He could make me feel angry and he could make me turned on just by his music.

Erik had to know the effects his music had on people and he knew I was in his house. Did he want me to feel like this? How could he pour such hatred and make me madder than I had ever known then turn his music into something that should be shared between two people in love? I couldn't take it anymore! The feelings I was feeling was horrible to me since I was by myself and I wanted Erik. I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anyone in my entire life. I ached to have him.

When I realized what I was thinking I blinked and shook my head, but it didn't help, I still wanted him. How could Erik do this to me? I had to make him stop, but I wasn't sure how. Then again, I didn't want him to stop, I wanted to let him continue to play and have him come in my room and make love to me. I didn't want to think anymore, I just wanted these feelings to leave me.

Since my back was still pressed to the door I knew I wanted to call Erik to me and have him take me right there so I started to pound on the door and I was screaming his name, he had to hear me now. The music wasn't loud like it was when he was in his hateful mood and moments after I started pounding on the door I heard his music come to a stop and when the music wasn't flowing anymore, the passion I felt and the heat in my loins were gone. I felt ashamed that I had been thinking those thoughts about Erik when I was still in love with Chad and I flushed crimson.

All at once I was angry again. I had felt like I had been used, no worse, I felt like I had been raped. Mind raped. So I stood in front of the door and waited for it to open, Erik would feel my wrath for what he made me have to go through. It was against my will.

Finally the door opened and Erik stood in front of me, towering over me and I was still feeling rage. He stepped into my room and I couldn't tell what emotions were on his face because his jaw was set tight and he was wearing half his mask. My hands were balled up into fists.

"I forgot you were in here." Erik muttered and if I hadn't been right in front of him I probably wouldn't have heard him and I knew he was embarrassed from his music, but I didn't care. Right now all the thoughts of him saving me was far from my mind. I took a step closer to him and looked up at his face for a moment or two and I slapped him, hard. The last time I had slapped a man was when I was 15 and smacked an ex boyfriend for talking about me to his friends, and what he was saying wasn't even true, hence the smack.

The slap rang across his good cheek and his face moved with the blow from my hand. His face turned bright red from the slap, but I didn't care. "Do you know what you made me go through?" I shrieked at him and my fists balled back up into fists. "You know what your music does to people and you should have remembered that I was down here with you. Look what you made me do!" I said and showed him my left hand, I had pulled a few of the stitches out of my skin and blood was slowly drying on the palm of my hand. "I have never been so mad, and I have never felt so violated." Well the second part was true, I knew all to well what it was like to be raped and by someone I trusted.

"Don't hit me again." Erik barked out at me, but I didn't cower from his words this time, I was far to furious to let him get to me.

"No not this time Erik. You can't make me cower in fear, you've made me go through so much tonight. I can't believe I ran to you for help to get away from Kent, this is what you do to me when I ask for your help! Take me back upstairs I never want to see you ever again Erik." I said and crossed my arms over my chest and waited for him to turn and walk me back to the boat, but he didn't move. "Did you hear what I said Erik? I said I want to go back upstairs." I said in my stubborn voice and pushed his shoulders.

"Desiree' don't talk to me like I'm your slave, I will take you back when I'm good and ready so you just go back to bed and sleep. I will play something to make you fall asleep." Erik said.

Did he not listen to a word I had said about feeling violated by his music? "Erik, I felt like you raped me by your music and you offer to play me more music to make me do something against my will?!?" I asked in disbelief.

The look on Erik's face was one I would never forget, and I felt bad for what I had said, but it was true. I knew Erik was a gentleman at heart and a true gentleman wouldn't do anything like that to a woman, and I knew that I had just put him down on his already very low self-esteem rung. I bit my lip for I was already wanting to apologize for what I had said, but it was the truth and I wasn't going to back down, not this time, I was done with letting Erik push me around. The silence between us was horrible and he just continued to stare at me, it was like he was burning holes into my brain with his eyes.

"Erik, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." I said and reached out to touch his arm, but as soon as my hand got close to his shoulder his silence snapped and he quickly moved away from me.

"Yes I'm just the monster your used to reading aren't I? Isn't that what monsters do, rape women?" He asked in a cold voice and I hung my head ashamed of myself. "You wanted to return upstairs so go, you can find your way." Erik said and turned around on his heel and stalked off into the dark.

Standing there I tried to follow where he went, but it was so dark in his house I couldn't see where he was anymore. There would be no freakin way I could find my way back to the lake, let alone to my room, so I sat down on the stone and let out a sigh, I should have known this is what would happen after I said that, I should really think before I talk. Wait didn't I just think only moments ago that I wouldn't say I was sorry? And yet here I did and was now feeling sorry for having said that. I let out a sigh and pushed myself up off the ground and felt my way back to my room, or what I thought was my room. When I tried to push the door open, it wouldn't budge, so I went to the next and tried, still nothing.

All the doors I tried were locked and I kicked the bottom of the door in anger. Only moments after kicking the stupid door I heard more music and I groaned once more, I wasn't sure what type of music Erik would be playing, and I didn't want to hear it. I was mad and ashamed of myself at the same time. I desperately started trying doors and I knew I was going in circles but I was starting to panic. The music was angry, how could it not be? I just told Erik I felt like he raped me, of course it would be angry, and I felt no other emotions but anger once more.

Following the music I thought maybe I could stop him before he made me do things that I had done before, but it was so hard to actually walk when I was this angry. How did his own music not effect him like it did me? Once more I put my hands over my ears trying to block out the music, but like before it didn't work, and I was soon screaming closing my eyes stumbling around Erik's darkened house trying to find him.

It took me a long, long time to make any progress finding him, but I soon did, and the reason I knew I found him was because the room was dimly lit and I saw him pounding over his organ. Tears were now streaming down my face, I was filthy from head to toe, my left hand was aching and freely bleeding again, and I was pissed off. I knew I wasn't angry at Erik, well a part of me was, but this anger I was feeling was from Erik's music, not him, but when I reached him I couldn't stop myself from pushing his shoulder roughly and his body was pushed forward and he played a dischorant cord and stopped playing.

Erik pushed off the organ quickly and I felt the anger slide out of my body when he stopped playing, and I broke down into sobs. I hated feeling like this. "Please Erik." I said with huge sobs, "Please no more. I can't take it anymore." I collapsed to the floor at his feet. I was beyond tired, beyond being in pain, beyond all kinds of endurance. I felt like I had been mind raped for hours now. "Erik, I just can't do this anymore, I can't find my way through your house, I don't want to go back knowing that you are mad at me, you are my best friend here and I can't go on in this life without you." My face was pressed into the cold stone and it felt actually nice against my hot swollen face.

"Get up off the floor Desiree'." Erik muttered and I pushed myself over onto my butt and I tried to push myself up to my legs, but I was so weak and shaky I couldn't gain any balance so I literally crawled up Erik, using his clean clothes for leverage. Not once did he try to give me a hand, making my way easier, nor did he walk away from me. I got the hint, he was showing me that he was stronger than me, more powerful and I had to use him to get by in life. That was crystal clear.

Once I finally got to my feet, I was still shaky, so I didn't dare move away from him, and I was still clinging to him for dear life. "Can you walk?" Erik asked me and I nodded my head. I think I could if I was following him, so he took a step back and took off at a brisk pace. Once he was away from me I was already wobbling on my feet and I tried to keep up with him, but I was failing miserably. My foot caught a stray rock, or something and I went down, and I went down hard. I tried to block my fall with my hands, and I felt pain stab into my left hand were a few of my stitches were still in place. I knew my right hand had to be scratched to hell.

My face slammed into the stone and I let out a groan. It was the right side of my face that made contact with the floor and I saw blackness creep into my vision, so I took a deep breath and felt sick to my stomach. Moments later I was being picked up off the floor and the motion made me even sicker, but I knew I was now being carried so I closed my eyes and tried to wiggle my toes, a tip I picked up in a book I really liked, and it seemed to work.

When my back touched cold metal I gave a jump and opened my eyes to see where he placed me, I figured he was taking me back to my room, but if I didn't know better, I would assume this was a hospital. He lit several candles and the room was filled with bright light. As soon as I was on the table Erik set to ripping my nightgown and I looked at him startled. "What are you doing?" I asked raising my head, my eyes popping open.

Erik gave me a sharp look, "I'm not raping you if that's what you were thinking, I have to clean all these cuts." He said and I looked at my knees to see they were bleeding too. I must have ate the pavement hard. I laid back down on the table. "I wasn't thinking that." I whispered and closed my eyes against the tears that were threatening to spill over.

Cold liquid was poured over my knees and he scrubbed them with a piece of cloth, then set to my foot. Once that was finished he put a clean dry cloth over my knees and tied them in place. After that was done and over with he set to my face. He cleaned it up with a new wet cloth and rung it out in a huge basin of water and placed it over my face, and I wondered if he thought I looked like him now with a huge white cloth over half of my face.

Now he turned to my hand and I heard him tisk at me. I knew my hand was filthy from using it to guide my way through his stone house, and I knew that the cut was dirty and he would have to clean it, and I knew it would hurt, but he used the same kind of numbing stuff so it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, though it did feel really strange to feel a tugging, and he restitched me up. He took the cloth off my face and shook his head. "Do you have a mirror so I can see it?" I asked in fright and he shook his head.

"There is a mirror in the room you are staying in." I nodded my head and tried to push myself up off the table, but he shook his head and lifted me up off the table, and I let him carry me and we were soon in his room. It was strange that all the doors were locked to me, but opened at his light touch. I was back in the room I had started in and he set me down on the bed. Though I was very tired, I really didn't want to be left alone. "Will you please help me fall asleep?" I asked him when I was under the covers.

"If you wish it." Erik said and stood and started singing in a soft voice that was soon soothing me into a deep sleep, and he hadn't even sang four notes before I was already drifting off into a soothing slumber. Before I had officially gone under I reached out and grasped his gloved hand. "Please don't leave tonight." I said and I was officially out.

**If you piss Erik off, dare you feel his rath *inserts evil laughter*...okay that was weird :D okay I know I didn't update this weekend, I had so much stuff to do, and I had been writing this chapter since the start of the week and I went back to read it and it was horrible! Desiree' had forgiven Erik far too easily and I didn't like that so I deleted half of the song and started over, and this evil side came out in me again. Please let me know what you think of this chapter, I think this is some of my best writing, and I'm getting tons of hits and people adding the story, but no reviews...I will start begging if I have to haha. Okay special thanks: xbleedingxheartx for adding my story to your favorites list, and Thirteeny for adding my story to your favorite list, this makes me so happy. Also a huge thanks to the people who have reviewed, I make sure to get back to you guys as soon as possible.**

**Desiree'**


	10. Being Left

**Disclaimer: I do now own anything related to Phantom of the Opera.**

Chapter 10

As normal I tossed and I turned and I had the strangest dreams, well I've always had really weird dreams, and they usually were about something I was reading a lot of. Like when I read the entire Ender's Game/Bean Saga I had dreams about Ender and Bean and all the characters for weeks until I started to read something else, then the dreams changed. These dreams were nothing about what I was reading, because I wasn't reading anything anymore. I was to busy working and dealing with tons of stupid stuff that was being rained down upon me.

Another thing that happened to me when I was dreaming was my dreams were always going. I wake up a lot in the middle of the night, roll over and go back to sleep, now most people don't continue to dream the same dream when they wake up and go back to sleep, but mine does, always. I was dreaming the horrible things Erik made me go through only a few hours ago. Going through it once was horrible, but dreaming about it over and over again was just torture.

Was my self conscious punishing me? When I was 12 my now ex-stepbrother Tyler had decided to go for a ride on his dirt bike and his best friend, my crush, was going with him on his four wheeler, so I asked Tyler if I could go and ride with Phillip, my crush, and Tyler told me that Cole was coming to, he was the guy who had a crush on me, so I begged my sister Allura to come with us so I could ride with Phillip and Allura could go with Cole so he wouldn't feel like I was choosing someone over him, which I was, well she didn't really want to go, but I ended up convincing her and Cole actually got in an accident where Allura's leg had broken in three places and we had to wait. While she was in the hospital she was asleep and kept jumping in her sleep, it scared me so I asked the nurse what was going on and the nurse said she was just reliving her accident in her sleep and jumping when the four wheeler rolled over her leg in her sleep.

That's what my body was doing, reliving my 'accident' though I didn't have an accident, I guess it was bad enough thought that my body was reliving it for some reason. Going through that rage until a point where I thought I was going to explode, to the unbelievable passion then back to the rage, well it was horrible and I hated reliving it. How many nights would I now be dreaming of this? How many nights will I have to see the hurt and angry look in Erik's eyes when I told him I felt like he raped me? I guess time would only tell.

Instead of waking up to the gentle hiss of a match being struck I was awoken to squealing and my eyelids flew open and I saw that I was in my own room. Well not my own room, but the room I shared with Pearl and Eleanor. What the hell was I doing in here?

"Oh Desiree' we've missed you! Where have you been?" Pearl practically shouted and she fumbled out of her bed an into my own wrapping her slender arms around my neck. Her twin wasn't far behind and Eleanor was on my other side hugging me. Was it all just a bad dream? Had my dream been just that, a dream? No, surely not, it was all so real, and hurtful.

No, it wasn't a dream, because then Pearl and Eleanor wouldn't be all over me like I had just flown the coop. My kidnapping had really happened, and I had fallen asleep in Erik's house. He must have still been very mad at me and put me back in my own bed. Would I ever see him again? Or were my actions and words unforgivable? I had to think of something to tell Pearl and Eleanor because they were waiting for my answer on where I was.

"I'm sorry I left so quickly, there was a family situation I had to deal with, and I didn't like going, my family and I don't exactly see eye to eye." I stumbled out. The story Erik told me to tell was floating in my brain of my marriage to someone under my class. I would just leave my excuse at that, let Pearl and Eleanor take their guesses at my vague excuse.

My stomach let out a deep grumble and the girls giggled and let go of me. They started to get dressed and I realized I was not in the outfit I had been in when I was with Erik. Had he changed my clothes? Was I that out of it that I didn't feel him taking my dress off, and carrying me to my room? Had he sung to me to kept me asleep? Upon further inspection I wasn't in another dress, just the stupid white under gown that I had to wear under my clothes, like a slip, and it was ripped and I remembered he had to tend to my cuts on my feet and knees. Maybe I could sew it up and still use it.

Reaching out for one of my 'sturdy' dresses I slipped it on and my hand gave a painful pull. I glanced at it and saw the new stitches he had to put in my hand. The glow of the lamp was filling the room in soft light but I turned my face away from it. I had a horrible headache, probably from the fall in his house, and I reached up with my right hand to see if there was any swelling. There was.

Just as I was about to try and re-pin my hair I heard Pearl, or Eleanor, I couldn't tell which one, gasp and Pearl, at least I think it was, grabbed my chin and turned my face so she could see it better. "Oh Desiree' what happened?"

Great. It was really noticeable. "I had a small carriage accident." I said and shrugged my shoulders. The lies were coming more swiftly now.

"Are you alright?" Eleanor asked joining her sister and staring at my face.

I nodded my head and went to work on my hair. I was getting better at doing things myself. The three of us left our bedroom and got a quick breakfast and it was back to work. The ball was only a few short days away and we still had a lot of work. Because of my hand I was unable to sew so I was left doing the piddly things. Making sure everything was in perfect shape. Getting new needles, or thread, or fabric for the girls. I was trying to keep my hands busy so I couldn't dwell on the events that had happened the last couple of days.

Just as we were about to get something for lunch a ballet girl came in, and I had no idea who she was. Her cheeks were flushed and she was still in her tutu and ballet slippers but she was breathing heavily and she quickly ran over to Pearl and Eleanor. It must be some type of new gossip and I tried to sneakily get over to them to hear, but before she could even talk Pearl caught my eye and beckoned me over so I joined them.

"I don't think you've met our newest seamstress, Meg this is Desiree'." My eyes widened a bit. I did know her, but not really. She was the best friend of Christine, and Madam Giry's only daughter. Giving a slight curtsy at me, she turned to Pearl and Eleanor, her gossip much more important than meeting new people.

"Have you heard?"

What a great way to start a story. "Heard what Meg?" Pearl said with a smile, she was ready for the gossip too.

"Lord Montgomery was found dead in his home early this morning." Meg said with wide eyes.

I let out a gasp. What was it that Erik had told me? That he needed to find Kent to take care of it, but I didn't think he would kill him. I knew he was capable of it, but I asked Erik not to kill him, not over that.

Three pairs of eyes were now on my face from my gasp. "Oh Desiree' you must feel terrible." Pearl said and hugged me. I had no idea why she would think I felt terrible, and I heard Eleanor explain to Meg that he was my 'suitor' which he wasn't. "No he wasn't, I'm just surprised, that's all." I said to Meg and Eleanor.

"Tell us what happened." Eleanor said turning back to Meg. "Well tell us on the way, were famished." Pearl said and she dropped her arms from around my back.

"Um could you bring me back something? I need to check something, it should only take a moment, but I don't want you to have to wait.

Pearl and Eleanor locked eyes and nodded leaving with Meg going on a mile a minute. As soon as they were out of sight I left the costume department and ran to the room I shared with the twins. Had Erik been watching? I really hope he was, I needed to speak to him now, and the only real way I could flat out ask him to come out was in my room.

Closing the door behind me I walked right up to the mirror. "Erik." I called out softly in case someone was outside the door, but I heard no one. After a moment I said his name again, a bit louder, and still nothing. I started to feel around the edges of the mirror for a flip or a switch, anything that would make the glass open up, but stopped after a moment. The memory of wandering through Erik's darkened house was still fresh in my memory and even if I did find the switch I wouldn't know how to get through all the tunnels to find his house.

Why was it that when I didn't want to see him he was always popping up, but when I did really need to see him I couldn't? After several more minutes I decided to give up. I was still angry, Kent's death could only be caused by Erik's hand, that I was sure of, but when did he have time? I had been in his house with him.

But not the whole time.

Surely Erik wouldn't have left the house to kill Kent and leave me locked up in a room. There was no way he did it in the house because I would have heard it. Could Kent's death just be an unfortunate coincidence? It was possible, but I didn't think so. I gave the mirror one more glance before I finally left, I would have to talk to Erik later, I was starving and the twins were probably close to being back in the costume department.

Since I had just stared at myself in the mirror for a long time I saw the damage that was done to my face. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It looked like someone had hit me though. It actually looked like what my dad had called a mouse. When I was a kid and in softball I was always the catcher and he was practicing with me and thew a really hard one my way and I caught it, but not really. I caught it in the very tip of my glove and it bounced out and hit me right below my eye and he called it a mouse. That's what my face looked like now.

It was better than a real black eye. I had gotten one of those when I was a teenager. I was playing soccer and I was goalie and we were practicing and one of my teammates kicked it hard and it slipped through my fingers getting me right in the face. The black eye that it caused was really nasty, I couldn't see out of that eye for a few days. At least my face wasn't black and blue, it was just swollen. Maybe I could put some ice on it later and take the swelling down.

Just as I was reaching the costume department I heard Pearl and Eleanor right behind me and they had brought me something to eat, so I quickly ate and went back to work as best as I could. They didn't talk about what happened to Kent, and I didn't ask. I didn't want to know the details.

It must have been obvious that I was antsy because Eleanor asked if I was okay and I just nodded. "I'm still a bit shaky from the carriage accident." I lied and she seemed to accept it and go on.

There was no performance tonight, which I was glad because I wouldn't have been much help and the twins were going out for a night on the town. "Please come with us Desiree' I know you will have so much fun with us." Pearl asked when we were back in our room. It would be nice to get out of the Opera House, but I still needed to talk to Erik. If he would ever show up. So I shook my head saying I needed some relaxation and just go to sleep early.

Maybe getting out of the Opera House would have been best, I needed some fresh air, but no. I had to talk to Erik. Maybe I could do both though. I grabbed a cloak and headed off towards the roof and had my lantern with me so I could find my way back down.

As soon as the slightly cool air hit my face I took a deep breath. I really needed to get out more. If Erik was keeping tabs on me like I know he has been then he will know he can find me up here, so I didn't bother to call out to him. Not yet at least. I walked over to the edge and started down at the town below me, it really was beautiful.

This time on the roof was different than my last trip up here. This time I was up here on my own accord, and I didn't have to wait for Erik to tell me I could go back down, and I wasn't sneaking since I was supposed to be on a date the last time. But just like lunch time Erik hadn't shown up, so after a while I called out to him.

"Please Erik, I have to know." I said softly, and if he was up here he would have been able to hear me. I waited around for him to show up, to speak to me, anything, but nothing happened and I lowered my head. He didn't want to talk to me anymore. What I had said was unforgivable and he wouldn't let me live it down it seemed. Truth be told, I'm surprised I'm not dead yet. When someone crosses Erik, he doesn't let them go on. Why was he not after me now? Hadn't I just hurt him in a way no one else had? So many people have put Erik down and I was one of those people now.

Why couldn't this be like what Rose and I had talked about so long ago. Giggling over MSN or on the phone saying if we could meet Erik for real we would show him what it was like to be loved? When given the option to be with someone else besides Chad I didn't want it. I didn't think I would ever get back to Chad and Paige so I could be free to live my life how I wanted to. Give my heart to whoever I wanted, but I only wanted Chad.

This was my test to see weather I really loved Chad or not, which I knew I always had, but not it was being thrown back into my face. That old saying if you love something let it go and if it comes back it's yours to keep, yeah I've never liked that saying. If you love someone you need to hold on tight to them because you never know when something is going to rip you apart. I never wanted to ripped apart from Chad and Paige, and now here I am.

Tears spilled down over my cheeks and I sat on the cold ground and cried over my husband and daughter. This was my life now and I wouldn't ever forget them, but I had to let them go. It wasn't fair for me to come to this conclusion so quickly, but I had no other choice, I can't be in this kind of hope, it wasn't right to me.

Having come to this realization didn't mean I was going to go out there and throw myself at men, that would be wrong. I would still be the way I was now, but I wouldn't have the guilt that comes with the possibility. Bleck. I didn't even want to think of possibilities now. Wiping the tears from my cheeks I picked up my lantern and made my way back to my room to go to sleep. Erik wasn't going to show up and talk to me. He had left me, just like I knew I deserved.

**Okay so it was taken in a different way than I originally thought, but that's okay, I think it turned out okay, the next chapter will be better I promise. Special thanks: spannerwanner for adding my story to your alerts. Also thank you to everyone who did review, they really make my day. Wow I'm kinda at a loss for words right now, so please remember to review and I'll have the next chapter up quickly I promise :D.**

**Desiree'**


	11. Another Horrible Man

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Phantom of the Opera**

Chapter 11

Not seeing Erik for days was almost torture to me, and I wondered if Erik knew he was torturing me thought this was what I deserved. Did he not care about how I was feel at all, or just so lost in his own thoughts. I know getting mad at him for not showing up was completely selfish on my part, but I didn't dwell on this to much. That's how I was though, when I wanted something, I wanted it right then and now, I didn't want to have to wait. I can't help how I am, but as the days went by, the angrier I got, then the more guilt ridden I felt for being mad in the first place. I was trying to change, but it wasn't going over very well.

Since I was feeling mad and guilty at the same time, my emotions were all over the place, and the emotion that must have shown more was the guild and sadness about not seeing Erik, and Pearl and Eleanor took it the wrong way, but I should have only guessed.

"Desiree', I know your upset about Lord Montgomery, but you will have fun tonight, besides you have to go to the ball, the managers insist upon it." Pearl said as I actually looked at her, I was wrapped in my own thoughts.

It was hard not to cringe at Kent's name, he did kidnap me after all, but of course Pearl or Eleanor didn't know that, they were still sure he was my suitor and I was depressed about his death.

"I'm not upset about Lord Montgomery's death, and I will have fun tonight, I'm looking forward to the ball." Which was half true. I couldn't imagine Erik not showing up, this was his opera house after all, and what an easy way to show himself in public, this ball was a masquerade, and everyone would be in masks. I wondered why they were holding another masquerade, don't they remember what happened the last time a masquerade was thrown?

Erik showed up and demanded they perform his Opera, and because they did the Opera house burned down, but maybe because things between Erik and the managers were much, well nicer, then maybe they were hoping Erik wouldn't show up and make a scene again, I on the other hand, was hoping he would show up, maybe not make a scene, but show up.

Since my hand had been sliced open and stitched up, I couldn't really do anything with my hair, so the twins were helping me, again, and instead of putting it all up, like they normally do, they only piled half my hair on top of my head. I had been walking around with my hair in these curler like things to help make it curly, most of the girls had the same type of curlers in their hair all day and Pearl and Eleanor were taking them out, my long hair becoming very curly. I had to admit, it looked really good that way.

The red dress that Pearl and Eleanor had made me was already on my body, my hair was the last touch, except the mask of course. It was a red silk mask that covered my face from right above my eyebrows to the top part of my upper lip. There was a string that Eleanor tied around the back of my head and it fit in perfectly with my hair, it looked like they planned it that way.

Pearl and Eleanor were already ready and I stood up up and the twins linked their arms with mine. They both had dates so would be leaving me shortly, which was fine. I kind of wished my dress wasn't so spectacular, I wanted to blend into the shadows so I could finally talk to Erik, but oh well.

The grand entrance hall was where Pearl and Eleanor me for the night, they had been giggling telling me about their dates when Pearl shushed her sister. "Desiree' you could come with us." Pearl said softly looking towards two young gentleman. I gave a smile and nodded my head.

"You two have fun, just be careful okay." I said and raised my eyebrows, I felt protective over those two girls, they were so young! The two girls let go of my arm and walked giggling towards the gentleman who were shuffling their feet.

Letting out a sigh I trudged off towards where I could already hear the soft music. My left hand was bound in a red cloth, to match my dress and I picked up the fluffy skirt around my feet and headed up the stairs until I reached a huge room where tons of people were already dancing and I stood off to the corner not really knowing what to do. I had never been to a party before. The only type of party I had gone to was when I was 17. It was New Years Eve and I had gone with my brother, sister-in-law, and her brother to a friend of theirs, but it wasn't a party, it was just an excuse to get drunk, and I did too, a mistake I would never make again.

I wasn't really sure on where I should go, so I just stood next to the entrance, well more off to the side and watched people dance. With all the masks on I had no idea who anyone was, and people passed me and waved or smile, and I just smiled back having no idea who it was doing the smiling and waving. Slowly migrating to the right I eventually bumped against a table that held refreshments, and I thought I would just get something to drink, that way I would have something in my hands, and moments after I was holding a goblet I heard a whisper in my ear and my heart jumped into my throat.

Turning around quickly I expected to see Erik right behind me, but the man behind me wasn't Erik, I could tell because he wasn't nearly as tall, but the mask he was wearing was still a bit surprising, it was very similar to the mask Erik wore normally except it didn't cover only have his face, it was his whole face.

"Would you care to dance mademoiselle?" Asked the gentleman and I was slightly taken aback, which I should be, this was a ball after all, people danced and I knew I would end up being asked. Maybe dancing would get my mind off of waiting for Erik to make his grand appearance, so I gave a slight shy smile and set my full glass down on the table, it was up for grabs again and I placed my good hand in his waiting hand and he escorted me out onto the dance floor.

This type of dancing I was good at, you just let the guy lead you and you follow, it's not that hard. So around the dance floor we moved, he was a good dancer actually and he had made me laugh in just the few minutes we danced together. When the music ended he gave me a smile. "I'm Levi Reiley." He said with another smile. He seemed pretty young, probably around my age. I wasn't sure if I had seen him around before, his voice was unfamiliar to me.

"Desiree' Boils." I said and I dropped my arms from his hands, though he seemed reluctant to do so.

"Your Desiree'?" He asked with some skepticism and I furrowed my brow.

"Yes." I said and took a hesitant step back from him.

Seeing that he was frightening me, or whatever he thought he was doing his eyes got wider and he held his hands up in defense. "I meant no harm, I just work here and I've heard your name getting thrown about, your the new seamstress correct?"

Letting out a sigh of relief I feared that he was one of Kent's people, thought I know he was dead, just the very thought of Kent coming after me frightened me. He was harmless, well I didn't know that, but he wasn't one of Kent's people. Why was I a center of topic? New people were employed here all the time, so why was I special?

"Yes, that's right, I'm one of them, what part of the opera house do you work in?" I asked as another song broke out and he opened his arms again and I picked up his hands and he started to dance with me again. This song was a bit faster, and he was gliding me around the dance floor and I had a smile on his face. "You can't turn me in if I tell you." He said with a mysterious smile and I couldn't help but let out a quick laugh.

"Okay I promise." I said and shook my head.

"I'm a backhand." I didn't know why he made a big deal about it, I worked here too. "So why did you make me promise not to tell, I work here too you know."

Shrugging his shoulders he looked around and leaned in closer to me. "Backhands shouldn't be here, were not classy enough." He said and his voice was obvious that he was mocking what he said.

"Well I'm glad your here." I said politely and a smile spread across his whole face. Maybe I had been a bit too polite, I didn't want to give him the wrong sort of impression.

"I seemed to have interrupted you getting something to drink, should I let you get back to it?" He asked and I shook my head, we were still in the middle of the dance, and I was having way to much fun with Levi at the moment.

"I'm good right now, unless your already getting tired of dancing already."

Levi quickly shook his head. "Just thought I would offer a chance for you to get away from me."

"Then let me help you out." A voice rang out and Levi turned his attention from me to someone behind me, but I didn't need to turn, I knew that voice already. Levi's jaw set into a hard line and his eyebrows scrunched together.

"I wasn't asking you!" Levi's voice rang out and I saw Erik's hand reach out and grabbed the hand that was in Levi's.

"I'll still help you out though." Erik said and walked off, carting me behind him like a little child.

We hadn't gotten a few steps away before I saw Levi run in front of Erik cutting him off in his tracks. I felt the hand that was holding mine squeeze tighter, and I was glad it was my right hand instead of my injured one.

If Erik had killed Kent on my behalf then he might kill Levi too, and he hadn't done anything wrong. "Erik! Please no." I whispered and Levi's turned to me. "Levi, it's okay. I'm sorry." I said and gave him a small smile.

Looking up I saw Erik's face set into a sneer and he brushed past Levi, managing to bump into him...men...and trot off. Glancing behind me I saw Levi standing there with a murderous look upon his face.

"_Come with me."_ Erik hissed and I snapped my face around and followed Erik a buzzing noise inside my brain. Damn him for commanding me like that!

Working his way through the crowd of people we finally made it to a less crowded area. "I can't leave you alone for one minute Desiree'!" Erik said rounding on me dropping my hand and my jaw dropped.

"What in the hell are you talking about Erik! I've been looking for you for over a week and you are never around when I call out to you so don't even start Erik." I said and crossed my arms in front of my chest. I was actually really excited to see Erik, a huge part of me wanted to just storm away from him, but another part of me wanted to just give him a big hug. The hug was starting to win though.

"Oh never mind Erik." I said and opened my arms and hugged him and I could feel his body tense up, but I didn't care, I missed him a lot. He was so much taller than me and my arms were wrapped around his back under his arms and I could feel him moving his arms not really knowing what to do with them, he probably hasn't had contact like this in a long time.

Letting out a sigh I pulled away from Erik to really look at him. He was wearing a very nice forest green suit that felt almost like velvet, but it wasn't and his mask matched and had black etched around the edges. It looked like the same type of mask I was wearing and I wondered if that was a coincidence since a lot of masks looked alike, but nothing with Erik was coincidence. Just because Erik didn't show himself to me doesn't mean he wasn't watching me. He couldn't have made a better entrance than what he had, what a perfect line for him to step in. "How long have you been watching me? And why didn't you come out when I called you?" I asked, and tried not to make it sound like an accusation. "And what do you mean you can't leave me alone for a minute? Are you referring to Levi?"

So many questions had come streaming out of my mouth, I couldn't stop them, I was just glad Erik had decided to make his presence known again.

Holding up his hands to slow down my questions he took a deep breath. "Who said I've been watching you, and I didn't come out when you called because I didn't hear you call out to me, I've been busy, you aren't my only priority, and I mean you are always getting into trouble, don't you know who Levi Reiley is?" Erik asked his face turning hard again and he looked over my head into the crowd, I thought he might be looking for Levi.

Of course I didn't know who Levi was, we had just met. "No Erik I don't, please enlighten me." I said with sarcasm in my voice. Erik had picked up on it he turned his eyes down to mine and scowled.

"Your _friend _has been convicted though never charged of several rapes. Mostly the ballet rats, I believe he's even had a run in with the twins you hang around with so much." Erik spat out. "And you go and dance with him. Honestly woman." He said shaking his head. "This is why I can't leave you for a moment.

My eyes were as big as saucers. Levi had seemed so nice, but why would Erik lie? That was one thing I just couldn't stand, a rapist. I didn't really know what to say. I felt sick to my stomach that I had been so nice to Levi now, but would I judge him based off what Erik had told me? I shouldn't doubt him, it still bothered me to jump to conclusions though.

"You had better be thankful that you have me around, you could have been his next victim."

Speaking of victim's I wanted...no I needed to talk to Erik about Kent still. "Erik what happened to Kent, I heard about his murder." I said my arms crossing again. "I said I didn't want you to kill him, he didn't deserve to die on my behalf." I spit out.

Keeping a cool head he just continued to look at me and when he spoke it was in the same coolness it had been moments ago. "Murder, I believe it was deemed as a suicide."

I let out a sigh. "Erik I have a right to know if someone was killed because of me."

"Death is a frightful thing and woman don't need to know about such things, especially someone as delicate as you. Besides, only you say it was murder."

Erik was right about one thing, death is a frightful thing. "Erik you have no idea about the death I've seen." I spat getting angry all over again.

The tone of my voice obviously took Erik off guard because his face changed from his cool stance to confusion. "You've seen death?"

I scowled at Erik. "Yes, my daughter passed away when she was two months old."

Sorrow was the new look on his face and he bowed his head. "I didn't murder Lord Montgomery, it was just an unfortunate incident. There was a note with the body if that helped, it said he killed himself because his fiancee was taken from him and he no longer wished to live."

So either way it seemed that Kent's death was falling on my shoulders. I couldn't tell if Erik was being truthful about his death or not, I couldn't see his eyes for he was looking down. "Please Erik, I should get to know the truth."

Erik tilted his head up and opened his mouth like he was going to talk, but nothing came out.

"Desiree'!" I heard a girl call out and I turned to see Pearl, I could tell because of the color dress, and Eleanor right behind her with their dates. "Oh you have a date. Sorry." Pearl said and grinned. Taking a step forward I got closer to Pearl and Eleanor. Had one of them really been raped by Levi? I grabbed Pearl around the neck and hugged her, and moved quickly to Eleanor, and they both seemed at a loss for words.

"I should probably get back." I said and turned back to Erik with tears in my eyes. "Please don't leave me alone, I don't want to get asked by another guy to dance."

"Does that include me?" Erik asked and my eyebrows shot up.

**Exciting times! You can tell me how evil I am if you think I should haven't left off on that note, but I love being evil so :P haha. Thank you to everyone who did review my last chapter, I hope you like this one better, and if you have questions feel free to ask them I'll answer them as best as I can, without giving to much away, that wouldn't be fun now would it? I'm still debating on where to go for the next chapter, but either idea is really good, which is why I'm having so many issues deciding on which way to go. Please review and let me know what you think so far!**

**Desiree'**


	12. New Feelings

**Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera**

Chapter 12

Laying in my bed I still couldn't believe what had gone on in the past few hours. Erik had seemed so unlike himself. He had asked me to dance and it took me by complete surprise. Usually when I danced a lot I got really tired, yet here I am, awake at who knows what time mulling over everything that had happened today, well more like tonight. How can he go from being a great guy to a guy who is so pissed off that he won't even talk to me for days at a time? Erik needed to seriously work on his communication skills, but who could blame him? He's been all by himself for years locked away under the opera house.

What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn't help but smile into my pillow. I looked back and I could remember the exact way Erik looked when he asked me to dance. I looked up into Erik's face as he waited for my answer. Suddenly it hit me that Erik wasn't just asking me to keep me from dancing with someone else, it seemed more like he was actually nervous waiting for my answer and if you were just friends then would it really matter weather I said yes or not?

"Does that include me?" Erik asked and my eyebrows shot up.

"Really Erik, you want to dance with me?" I asked still in surprise.

Erik reached out and picked up my hand and led me to the dance floor with confidence. I wasn't sure weather or not Erik could dance, where would he have taken lessons during his whole time hiding away from everyone? Would he just step all over me?

As soon as we stepped out onto the dance floor a new song started, almost like he had the whole timing planned out. Pulling me close he picked up my right hand and I placed my arm on his shoulder, though it was a reach for me because he was so much taller than me. Swiftly he twirled me around the dance floor holding me close and for the first time I could actually smell Erik. Not that he smelled bad mind you, he actually smelled really good. Like firewood and candle smoke with a touch of musk. When I looked up I could see Erik's eyes, and they had always fascinated me. They were a green color with shots of amber in them.

His eyes seemed to be piercing into mine because when I looked up he was already looking down at me with a smile pulling at his lips. "Wow Erik your a great dancer."

"Don't act so surprised Desiree'." He said a smile still on his lips.

I shrugged my shoulders but continued to dance. Song after song Erik never stopped dancing with me and pretty soon everyone started to drift away either to go home, or people were hooking up in the corridors because when Erik spoke I was surprised. "Desiree' I should get you back to your room, it's very late, and I know you must be tired."

Now that he had mentioned it, I was very, very tired. I could see people making out in corners and I heard things I didn't really want to hear between two people. I hadn't seen the twins since Levi left us and I wondered if they were in our room yet or not.

"There not in yet." Erik said and I looked up at him. How did he seem to know what I was thinking? Erik opened up the door and ushered me across the threshold. All thoughts of being mad at him had vanished in his good mood.

The hiss of my lamp being lit made me look around to see Erik lighting it for me and I closed the door behind me. "Erik this has been a wonderful night, I can't even remember the last time I danced so long, thank you for dancing with me, I know I'm not the best."

"Desiree' you did very well." Erik said from across the room. He actually seemed nervous and because he seemed nervous, I became. Yes I was right, Erik just wasn't my friend, but I was so inexperienced in that field I had been married for almost 5 years, I didn't have to worry about trying to impress a guy. I bit my lip.

"Erik..." I started out, but I couldn't get another word out, I just couldn't make myself say it, but I needed to, but Erik walked over to me and picked up my hand and placed a very chaste kiss on my knuckles the he turned and quickly left through the mirror. That was weird.

So now here I lay mulling things over, smiling like the fool I am at what had gone on. It wasn't like I was naive, I was just a bit ignorant when it came to other guys liking me. Chad would always tell me when other guys would look at me, or he could tell when people liked me, and I would always be blissfully ignorant, but this one was smacking me straight in the face, and I was actually considering it! When Chad would tell me about guys paying attention to me I would just ignore it and move on, but I actually wanted to consider being with Erik.

Sure he was moody, but what guy wasn't, he was just a bit more moody than other guys, and when he was in a good mood, I wanted to be around him. The twins still hadn't come back and I was starting to get worried about them, but they were big girls and could decide for themselves what they wanted to do, I was just a worry wort.

I turned in my spinsters bed, yet again, and tried to close my eyes, but my body just wouldn't cooperate with me and I sighed out in frustration. I had been rolling around for well over an hour and a half and suddenly I heard sweet music reach my ears. Of course Erik was keeping an eye on me and he could sense that I wasn't sleeping so he tried to help me out. It was working.

My eyes got heavy and I soon was under his power once more and let my mind turn off and sleep.

The next day when I woke up I still had a smile spread to my face and Pearl nor Eleanor was there in bed, though we had the day off I had no idea what I was going to do with myself. So when I got up I got dressed and left my hair down, I just couldn't do anything with it because of my stupid hand but before I could even get to the door I heard the swish of the glass move to the side and I turned to see Erik stepping through the glass.

"I thought you might actually enjoy a good breakfast instead of the swine they serve in the dining hall." Erik said and extended his hand for me. I grinned up at him and had to stop myself from running over to Erik and I took his hand in mine and he took me down the passageway to his house. I still loved the long trip, the stone was so dark and I loved to just reach out and touch the moist stone.

When we crossed the lake I couldn't help but stare at him. I was seeing Erik with new eyes all of a sudden and I didn't want it to stop. When he escorted me into his house I could already smell whatever he was cooking and I did have to admit it smelled so much better than the hard lump that was supposed to be a croissants. Leading me into his kitchen I could see the masterpiece of a breakfast.

"You made all this for me?" I asked in wonder taking in all the food.

There was fluffy croissants with some kind of jam, what looked like ham, and so much other stuff. This really was better than what I normally had. Erik pulled out a chair for me and I sat down and couldn't help but smile. Erik could be such a gentleman when he wanted to be.

"Thank you so much for this Erik that was wonderful." I said after breakfast was done, and the sudden memory of him singing me to sleep came to me. "Oh and thank you for last night too." I said a bit more shyly. "I just couldn't get to sleep I had a lot on my mind."

"What has been troubling you Desiree'?" Erik asked.

I bit my lip I was always a big chicken. "Well Erik it was about you?"

"Do you care to share?" He asked getting a bit suspicious.

Shaking my head I was way to chicken to say it now. "Well go on."

"What's the deal with us?" I blurted out after a few moments of dull silence.

The look on his face seemed to match my own. "I'm sorry I was just curious." I mumbled bowing my head in embarrassment.

"I don't know Desiree'." Erik said just as quietly.

So maybe I wasn't in this on my own, it seemed that Erik was just as worried about this as I was. "We don't have to do anything right now you know." I said, I was still very new at this type of thing.

Standing up I knew it was time for me to go. "Thank you for breakfast Erik, that was beyond wonderful."

Because I had stood up Erik had stood up, always the gentleman, and our weird moment passed and he reached out his hand for mine again and I gladly placed it in his gloved hand. "What do you plan on doing with the rest of your day?" Erik asked me as he led me out of his kitchen.

Biting my lip I shrugged my shoulders. "I have no idea actually." I said with a chuckle.

"Well do you maybe want some company then?"

Maybe spending time with Erik would actually be better than spending the day alone in my room. "Okay." I said with a small grin and he took a turn and led me into a room I hadn't actually been in yet. It was filled with tons upon tons of books. There were more books in here than in a normal library.

"Oh my dude." I whispered under my breath and Erik turned to me questioningly. I ignored his glance. "Erik this is amazing! What type of books do you have in here?" I asked in awe.

"Everything." He said looking around the room proudly. I couldn't tell which room he enjoyed more, his music room or his book room.

"What's your favorite book?" I asked as I let go of his hand and started to walk around the room trailing my fingertips over the binds of the books.

Erik reached over my head and pulled out a book. "This is a great one, I think you would like it, would you like to read it?" He asked and I reached for the book. It was Sense and Sensibility. I had read that in high school and decided to read it again.

"You wouldn't mind?" I asked holding the book to my chest.

"Of course not." He said walking over to the couch and I followed. Reading actually wasn't something I wanted to do right then and now, but maybe I could get Erik to read it to me. That would be nice. "Would you read it a little bit?" I asked handing him the book back and he gave a grin and opened to the first page and started to read.

Settling in I leaned up against Erik, he really didn't seem to mind reading to me, and this wasn't exactly what I would normally think of a good time, but it was actually. Hearing Erik talk just made me in a good mood, his voice was so magical to my ears.

I wasn't sure how long he continued to read to me, but I seemed to be in an a daze, I'm not sure I actually heard the story just his voice.

"Are you growing bored?" Erik asked and I shook my head.

"Oh no, sorry I was just dazing in and out. You don't have to keep reading, we can do something else." I suggested and without another hesitation he stood up and pulled me right along with him. He led me into the music room and over to his organ. I was actually a bit hesitant. I remember the last time he had played for me, he seems to put me in a trance just by his voice, and his music was so much more powerful, did I really want to go through that again?

Yes.

Sitting down on his stool he raised his hands to the keys but he didn't actually play anything. "Before I play this I think we should clear some things up."

I held my breath and didn't move a muscle, I had been planning on sitting next to him, but I couldn't move my feet. "Yes Erik?" I asked when he didn't go on. His back was still turned to me.

"Are you afraid of me?" He asked quietly and it was good that I was holding my breath for I might not have heard him.

Was I afraid of Erik? Sometimes I was, but it was less and less lately. "Not so much anymore, but you do frighten me sometimes, I just can't seem to really get you." I answered honestly, I didn't want to lie to him.

"I don't want you to be frightened to me, and I'm sorry if I get out of hand, but I haven't felt these things in a long time, except it's different." He said and I was confused about what he was saying but I let him talk. "Sometimes I have this feeling that I can't get out of my mind and I have no idea what your feeling, I just can't read you sometimes and I can always read people, that's why I find you so fascinating."

All the breath I had been holding was rushed out of my lungs. Had I just heard him correct? Where did this leave us? Was he saying that he...liked me? That sounded so childish though.

"Rejection isn't something that I'm good at, and if you don't feel the same you can leave and I won't bother you anymore I will leave you alone."

Leaving was the last thing on my mind and I walked out and touched his shoulder. "I don't want to leave Erik." I whispered and Erik turned around his face in shadows so I couldn't see him properly so I couldn't tell what was going on under that mask of his.

"You speak the truth?" He finally said and I nodded my head.

Was this to soon? I had only let go of Chad a short while ago. It wasn't like I was giving my heart away just like that, but still, was this too soon?

"Yes." I responded and he stood up and again I was stuck by how tall he was. Walking forward I glanced into his face and I put my arms around him pulling us close together. I didn't want this to end and I placed my head against his chest. If this was to soon, well right now I didn't care I just wanted to be lost in this moment.

**Well I just decided that this chapter I would start to make Desiree' and Erik a bit closer, but things will be going slowly, she is still getting over her husband and Erik, well he's Erik after all. Special thanks time: Mystical Arrow for adding this story to your favorit story list! Also a huge thanks to everyone who did review, you guys rock so please review this chapter and tell me weather you like me having Desiree' and Erik together, or anything else you want to tell me. I hope you liked the chapter!**

**Desiree'**


	13. Need For Escape

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Phantom of the Opera.**

Chapter 13

Spending the whole day with Erik was different that if I had just stayed in my room alone. For one, I wasn't actually thinking about anyone except myself and Erik, well that wasn't really out of the ordinary, but I wasn't thinking about anyone else for a change, and that was out of the ordinary. The day had really gone by so quickly and when he said it was past dinner I knew I needed to go back up to the normal world far above us. So with a sadness Erik led me across the black lake, and up the dark tunnel.

It was weird seeing my little room from the other side of the mirror. This was how Erik saw me most of the time, it was really strange because it was so clear. It looked as if there were no glass there in the first place, and when you are on the other side you don't even have a hint that someone is looking at you through the other side. I didn't think police mirrors were even this clear, at least they weren't in the movies.

And like last night when he left he picked up my hand and gave a a very brief, very quick kiss on my knuckles and turned to leave. I was still clutching Sense and Sensibility, Erik insisted that I take it so I could read it, he said I looked to bored sitting in the costume department not doing anything because of my hand, and I wondered how many hours Erik watched me that I didn't know about. A lot it seemed. In a way that was so beyond creepy that someone was watching me without me knowing, but in a way maybe it meant that he cared about me and just wanted to make sure I was okay? I mean since I've been here I have gotten into a few predicaments that I'm not sure I could have gotten my self out of.

About an hour after Erik had dropped me off my door opened and Pearl and Eleanor came walking into the room holding onto each other and giggling. They were still wearing their dresses and I looked at them sternly, as if I was there mother and they came in after curfew. I closed my book with a snap and stood up and crossed my arms over my chest.

"And just where have you two been?" I asked sternly and they both quit giggling and bowed their heads in shame. "I've been so worried about you two, I saw you once yesterday at the ball and then you disappear." I let out a sigh. I wasn't their mother, but I felt so protective of them, I just wanted to make sure they were okay. "Oh never mind, you are two adults, I'm sorry, I was just worried about you."

Both of their heads popped up at the same time both having identical smiles on their faces. I take it I was forgiven. "So who was your dancing partner last night?" They asked all smiles now.

Not a lot of people knew Erik's name, he was normally knows as The Phantom or The Opera Ghost. Besides I needed to tell them something, they had cornered me. They still believed I had a suitor and at least they had seen him, well not really seen him, but seen that he was waiting on me. "He's your suitor isn't he?" Eleanor asked me and I grinned myself and nodded my head a bit.

"Yes that's him." I said after a moment, I didn't want to give them to much information.

"What's his name?" Pearl asked.

That information was something I didn't want to hand over, at least not yet, and I was saved by the bell, so to speak. A loud crash, well I guess it was more of a bang, but it rang through our room like a crash, erupted on the other side of our door. It sounded like someone was pounding on it with both fists and their foot as well. All three of us jumped when the first blast echoed through our room and we all just stood there for a moment before I quickly walked over to the door and opened it.

Levi was standing there his fists still trying to pound on the door that was no longer there. I hadn't made my mind up yet or not weather to believe Erik about Levi, but I knew a good way to tell. I turned to see Pearl and Eleanor, they were both pale and retreated into the room even more. Maybe Erik had been right about Levi all along.

"Levi! What are you doing?" I asked him astounded that he was banging on our door.

"I've come to talk to you Desiree'." He said and slurred his words a bit. Was he drunk? He sure looked like it. He sure smelled like it. His clothes were dirty and a bit tattered and hung off him like someone had been pulling on them. I could smell the alcohol on his breath and I had to blink several times to get the tears that had sprang to my eyes because his breath actually made my eyes sting.

Looking behind me again I saw the two girls sitting on the bed looking at me with horror filled eyes clinging to each other, I needed to get Levi to leave. Now. I took a step to leave but Eleanor's voice rang out. "No don't Desiree', don't go with him."

Turning around once more I held eye contact with Eleanor for only a moment, "I'll be okay." I said and closed the door and grabbed Levi's arm and led him down the passageway. If anyone were to see it would almost look like a teacher was escorting a little boy to the principals office with him still saying 'I didn't do anything' but I just marched on not caring what this looked like.

Once we were far enough away from my room I crossed my arms across my chest again. "What do you want Levi?" I asked harshly.

Levi reached for my arm, but I jerked away from him. "Don't touch me Levi!" I shouted at him and his face contorted into fury.

"What's wrong with you woman? Yesterday you were giving me all the right sings and now this is how you act?" Levi spit the words out. I really hated being called woman, it felt so degrading to me, always has.

"Oh shove off it Levi, I know what you've done, you make me sick." I said feeling nausea in my stomach just thinking about it.

"I've done nothing." Levi said leaning up against the wall and I rolled my eyes. He looked so comfortable acting like he's done nothing wrong.

"You make me sick Levi, I know you've raped girls before, didn't you see the way Eleanor reacted to you? You think I'm stupid? You know what, your not worth my time, don't come around me again." I said and started to walk away.

Turning my back to Levi was actually really hard, but when I turned around he was still lounging up against the wall. It looked like he had no intentions of moving. My heart was racing and I wanted to just bolt out of the hall, but knew I would look like a complete fool if I did. Suddenly I heard footsteps behind me and I turned my head and saw Levi coming after me, but he was walking, like he was just following me. My heart rate doubled and I picked up the speed I was walking, but Levi grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall his hands were on the walls, but he was trapping me in between them.

"You can't rape the willing." Levi snarled into my face and I was outraged. There was little room between the two of us, but I somehow managed to wiggle my right arm out of the trap he had me in and I slapped him across the face as hard as I could, and just to add insult to injury I spit in his face. I wasn't stupid, Levi was going to be pissed and I didn't wast any time, as soon as I spit on him I raised my right knee and kneed him very, very hard in his groin and he removed his arms from around mine and doubled over coughing, I thought he was going to be sick and I quickly ran away from the doubled over Levi and made it to my room only to see Pearl and Eleanor not even there.

Shit.

They must have bolted as soon as I was out of the room, I don't blame them, but now I was in the one place where Levi know I would be and I panicked. If I went out of the room I might see Levi already recovering, and I didn't really know where I could go and hide from him. Shit, shit shit!

There would be no need to call out to Erik if he had been watching me, I knew he would have stepped in before Levi had cornered me and I desperately started to search the mirror in a panic trying to find a button or switch, anything to make the glass slide away and my fingers traced over a slight bump and I tried to get my face in front of it to see what I needed to do, but it was at an angel where I couldn't see it, I pushed it, hard, and nothing happened. There was nothing to hold onto to pull it out and I was starting to get even more panicked. Tracing my fingers over the bump I felt a little hole in it, well it was more like a slit and I stuck my fingernail into it and the glass side to the side and I let out a little cheer for myself and quickly ran through the opening and shoved the glass back in place.

Should I try and find my way back down to Erik's house? I was afraid I would get lost, there were a lot of twists and turns and I didn't want to even try to get lost, but sitting on the floor wasn't exactly what I wanted to do either. I didn't particularly want to see if Levi was following me and enter the room and not find me, so I had no choice but to try and keep my head and just go searching for Erik.

Taking deep breaths I closed my eyes for a moment before I turned and started to walk down the passage way that I had just left barely an hour ago, but I heard my door crash open and I ran back to the mirror to see a very livid Levi stumble into my room. His shoulders were still hunched over and I could see sweat running down his whole face.

Levi walked into the room more and slammed the door shut, and I jumped and put both of my hands over my mouth. I didn't know how soundproof the mirror was since I could hear Erik talk to me through it. To say I wasn't scared would mean I was a liar, I was scared and my body was so tensed up. Levi continued to search my room and start to throw things around. He went to the the dresser and started flinging all sorts of things out. Once he realized I couldn't fit into a drawer that was only a foot deep he decided to trash the rest of the place.

The only thing he actually didn't touch was the mirror and I wondered why that was, and I felt a pair of arms grab me and a hand go over my mouth, and I shrieked in horror, but I realized it was only Erik. "Shh be quiet." He said in my ear and I felt my body start to tremble, he had scared me to death. I wasn't sure if Erik thought I was scared because he surprised me or if he knew it was because Levi was chasing after me.

It took Levi a good 30 minutes to trash our room in which that time Erik didn't let go of me, his gloved hand was still over my mouth and my back was still pressed up against Erik's front and we both watched the havoc that was going on just beyond the glass. Finally Levi looked close to passing out and he stumbled out of the room leaving the door wide open and I let out a breath of pent up air I had been holding.

"How did you know I was in here Erik?" I asked quietly still not trusting that Levi was gone.

"When you crossed the mirror an alarm went off in my house." Erik said stiffly. "What was going on that you needed to hide from Levi?" He asked me finally letting go of me.

"Levi came looking for me, and I tried to tell him to leave me alone, but he got a hold of me and I slapped him and spit on him then kneed him and ran like hell. I didn't figured if I called out to you, you would hear me, so I though I would try to find you, but then Levi came in right after me, and I didn't move, I couldn't move." I said in a shaky voice.

Looking up at Erik I could see that he was frowning at me. "Didn't I tell you not to go off with him? He is a very dangerous man Desiree'." Erik said and I nodded my head. I didn't need to be lectured by Erik, again.

"I know, I know." I said holding up my hand to stop him from going on. I was very thankful that Erik was still here, I figured he would have charged through the glass and gotten a hold of Levi, but he didn't to which I was glad. "I thought if I told him to just leave me alone then he would." I said and shrugged. When I said it like that it sounded very stupid and naive.

Letting out a sharp burst of air Erik shook his head, it probably sounded stupid and naïve to him too. "Desiree' you are in the real world now, you can't expect something as calmly as that to stop a man getting what he wants, I'm not sure if that's how it works in your world, but it doesn't here. Women are just a prize possession to men, their opinions mean nothing, their actions mean nothing, get used to that."

I felt tears sting my eyes. What a horrible place for women to live in. "I'm sorry Erik, I know it sounds stupid, but I figured I could handle things on my own." I said and hung my head in shame.

I felt Erik push past me and open the glass. He quickly stepped across the ruin that was now my bedroom and close the door. "Were are Pearl and Eleanor?" He asked me as I stepped through the glass.

"I'm not sure, they weren't in here when I got back, they probably ran off to hide."

Letting out another sigh Erik helped me clean up the mess in the room. With the two of us working quietly it was finished quickly. Once everything was back in it's place Erik turned to go, this time without a kiss on the knuckles.

"Erik." I called out softly before he reached the mirror and he turned back to me.

"Yes?"

Biting my lip I looked around the empty room. "Well, I'm just not sure if Levi is going to come back, and I know I would be okay if Pearl and Eleanor was here, but I'm not sure if they are going to show back up tonight. I really don't want to be left here all alone. Will you please stay?" I asked softly.

"If you wish." Erik said and walked back over to my bed. I quickly got under the covers and expected Erik to sit on the bed with me, but he pulled up a chair at the head of my bed and sat on that instead. I scooted back to the middle of the bed and try to sleep.

It was hard to go to sleep when I knew someone was sitting right there watching me, so after a few minutes I opened my eyes. "Erik, can I ask you something?"

"Of course." He said softly.

Though I really wanted to know, I didn't really want to ask, I was afraid he would fly off the handle again and leave, and I really didn't want him to leave.

"Do you still love Christine?" I asked after several minutes of silence.

Erik didn't get off the chair and start to rant and rave, nor did he yell at me, he just closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I wasn't sure if he was trying to calm himself, but when he spoke he sounded calm and collected. "I realize now that she was more of an obsession for me than real love. I do love Christine, but as a teacher loves their student. I had taken her voice to such great sounds, and I can only be proud of her, but I still return into my obsessive moments when I think of her from time to time, though it is getting easier for me."

Moments after he said this he started to hum and I felt my eyes getting heavy once more. It seemed Erik didn't really want to talk about that, and I understood, I didn't really want to talk about how I still loved Chad too, except I did love Chad, it wasn't just an obsession and I was soon asleep.

**Things with Levi really heated things up! For those of you who guessed Levi wasn't completly out of the picture, well you were right, and he is just starting to make a splash in the story! I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who did review the chapter, I love reading and responding to your reviews, they really make my day. Okay now something special. My best friend and I are writing a story together, it's based of Harry Potter, except it's our own characters, and I would really love it if my wonderful readers were to saunter on over there to read it. It's called Nothing Like We Expected and the website is www . fictionpress . com /~ TogetherWeSpazesRule just take out all the spaces. I hope you don't mind me shameless plugging our new story, but please head over there and give it a read and a simple review of, I liked it, or anything else, it's much appreciated. Thanks for reading my mile long A/N now lol.**

**Desiree'**


	14. Loosing Friends, Gaining Friends

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Phantom of the Opera.**

Chapter 14

A month had gone by since Erik and I had started our little, whatever you wanted to call it. We weren't exactly dating, or in his language, courting, but in a way it kind of felt like that, except he wasn't going to be seen, he was still a hunted man even if people didn't have mass parties to go and search for him. The only contact I ever had with Erik was when he gave me a quick and chaste kiss on the knuckles and he did this whenever we parted at night.

Being sneaky was never something I was good at, it always showed on my face. It screamed 'I'm doing something sneaky come and get me' but I was getting better, not that I really need to be sneaky. Ever since that night with Levi the twins had been hanging around me less and less, except when we were working, then of course we had to be in the same room. I couldn't figure it out. Why were they avoiding me?

There was something off about how they were acting when they were around me too. They were very jumpy and once when they would laugh and giggle, now they seem to be depressed and almost angry, it concerned me greatly. It was almost as if they just stopped caring about the rest of the world around them, like they were just going with the flow.

My hand was back to normal and I was starting to get really good at making a stitch look good instead of someone just learning how to get this down. There was a new Opera coming up and the costumes were almost done. Tonight was the final dress rehearsal and I was working on the last gown.

"Do you need us to stick around Desiree'?" Pearl asked almost indifferently and I frowned.

"No, but what are you two doing later? We should go out on the town, just us three girls." I said even though I had plans with Erik, well if you could call sitting in his library with him 'plans'.

"No! Er, sorry Desiree' we have plans. Maybe after the Opera in a few days." Pearl said and quickly walked out the door.

Frowning again I let out a humph, but I wasn't alone very long. Erik came gliding through the mirror only a few minutes after the twins departing. I was actually used to his strange and sudden pop ins, they didn't frighten me anymore.

"What in the world is going on with them?" I asked Erik the corners of my mouth still turned down.

Seeing Erik uncomfortable wasn't something I was used to and when he started to fidget with one of the costumes I knew something was up. "What does it not meet The Opera Ghost's approval?" I said sarcastically and he looked at me with his eyebrows, well the one I could see, cocked.

"Are you almost finished, I have a new piece I want you to hear." Erik said without answering my question, I noticed and sighed.

"Yes, yes, you can't rush perfection you know." I said pointing my needle at him.

After twenty minutes I was done and I had to make my 'appearance' of going to my room and closing the door. From there I followed Erik down to his house where he had dinner made, which was good because I was starving, I had worked straight through lunch so I could get done at a decent hour today and we had dinner together, as we do almost every night.

It shouldn't surprise me that Erik was good at everything, but he was. I had even seen him fix one of his suits by himself! Most men scoff at such a 'womanly' job, but he did it with no complaining, and did it well too. Much, much better than what I was doing at my job. Even his cooking was beyond amazing. His house was always spotless, everything was in tip-top shape, I was always impressed.

When it came to his music however I was still a bit reluctant. He hadn't really played anything for me since our last disaster, and I was nervous to listen to his music again. It was a rare thing for Erik to use his voice against me and I wondered if this was because he was maybe starting to respect me, in some odd way of his.

"Do you really think it's a good idea for me to listen to your music Erik?" I asked as I followed him to his music room. His huge organ was against the wall and I could see sheet music already in it's place.

"I should think so Desiree' other wise I wouldn't play it." He said almost a bit sternly and I just shook my head and sat down on the couch while he walked to his organ.

I have to admit, my body was very, very tense and my hands were clutched together very tightly. I sat ramrod straight waiting for his music to start. His hands seemed to glide over the keys and the music that he produced didn't have me raging mad, or, well I don't even want to get into that. Instead the music left me feeling good about myself, like I could soar and do anything I wished to do. Is this what it felt like to take drugs? I had never done any type of drug before so I wasn't sure, but I felt as if nothing could hurt me, and I felt my head feel light and my back relaxed against the back of the couch and my fingers unclench.

My head unwillingly rolled to the side as I let the music take over my body. My eye lids felt heavy, but not like I was tired. I couldn't really describe the kind of emotion rolling through my body, but it just felt wonderful. The music actually seemed to go on forever and it slowly came to a stop and I wished it hadn't stopped. I loved feeling like that.

How could someone who had so much anger and malice produce something like that? I was stunned. Did Erik really just want to be good, but was trapped inside his own body and mind? In this day and age I could completely understand why Erik felt the need to lash out and kill people like he has done in the past.

"So did it pull you in like my other music?" Erik asked me and the lightness in my head vanished.

"Well yes, but it wasn't anything I would have objected to anyways, that was, well just awesome Erik." I said just shaking my head in awe.

There was a look on his face that I couldn't quite place. It didn't look like anger, but something else and I frowned a bit. "What?"

"Nothing at all." Erik said and got off the bench. He started to fiddle with the different pipes and I sighed and stood up and walking over to him. Standing next to him I tried to guess what was going through his mind right now. I had gotten a bit better at guessing his bipolar moods, but this one was by me.

Reaching over I touched his arm. "Erik what is it, I really did like your piece. It lulled me and made me happy." I said with a soft smile.

"Just the fact that your mind seems to be putty to my music Desiree' but I just can't grasp what your going through and thinking." Erik lashed out and my eyebrows went up.

"You know if you want to know something you just have to ask."

He rounded on me and grabbed me by the upper arms, but I wasn't frightened, just a bit surprised. "Jeez Erik what's gotten into you? I sure hope you don't take this type of good feedback for everyone, I hope you save it only for me." I said sarcastically and he shook his head.

"Why are we this way? I can't even look at you without seeing that faraway look in your eyes. Do you always think about your husband? Am I good enough for you? Do you think of me the same way I do about you? This isn't about last time, this isn't obsession, this is fresh, and new for me, and this is completely foreign to everything I'm used to." Erik finally got out.

This ranting wasn't anything what I was used to before. Erik was usually so calm and collected around me, his outburst was strange and I didn't know how to react to it. I hadn't really though about my 'old' life in a long time, and I couldn't imagine where he got the 'faraway look in my eyes' maybe when I was just off in my own world and thinking about, well just things. It was actually Erik who I was thinking about a lot, trying to figure out what was going on between us.

It was almost as if I was in high school again and this was my first relationship. I remembered my first 'real' boyfriend, well he had kissed me after three weeks and we had told each other that we loved each other after a month. This was just like me and Erik, except we hadn't kissed yet, and I wasn't sure I was in love with Erik. I like him a lot, but I knew what love was, I had very strong feelings for him, but it wasn't love, and I didn't know if he was really in love with me or not, I wasn't sure if I was ready to hear it or not.

"Erik, I don't know what to say. I've been thinking of Chad less and less actually, I've been thinking about you more and more, I'm not going to say that I'm where you are, I do like you a lot Erik, but you have to understand, I have given up on seeing my family again, and I really like spending time with you, your my best friend, I can't imagine my life here without you."

Having Erik make the first move would take forever, so I decided to take things into my own hands. I shook his arms off my arms and stood up on tip-toe and wrapped my arms around his neck, which was not easy since he was so much taller than me, but I managed to pull him down closer to my height and gently placed my lips to his.

This was actually like my first kiss, I was nervous and I could tell he was nervous too. Having me kiss him made him actually tense up a bit, but he didn't pull away, he wrapped his arms around my back but didn't pull me close, just held me and after a few moments I pulled back, my cheeks a bit red from the sudden moment. Wow this was like deja vu between me and my first boyfriend Ryan, and our first kiss outside my house.

"I do like you, a lot okay." I said and he stood up back to his full height and nodded.

Once we had separated Erik took me back to my room, Pearl and Eleanor were gone once more, and instead of Erik picking up my hand he actually bent down and placed a very soft quick kiss on my cheek and vanished. I walked across the glass with my heart fluttering a bit. I had learned long ago that if I wanted to be alone, that I needed to be in a room, and block off my view from the mirror, so I went behind a screen I had brought in a while ago and changed into my night clothes and laid down fully intent on sleeping, but it didn't come.

With Erik's mask the way it was, I had always thought that kissing him would be uncomfortable, but it didn't get in the way with our kiss, or the one he placed on my cheek. If this was how slow we were moving, well that actually seemed very fine by me. I was still in love with Chad, like I would be forever, but there was a difference now. I was having feelings for another man, and I wasn't feeling guilty about it. Slow was good.

Reaching up I grabbed the necklace that Erik had given me and felt the rings that belonged to me and Chad. It still felt strange not to have them on. One of my favorite past times was twirling my engagement ring round, and round my finger. It wasn't big, it just twirled easy, as Chad used to say. I did still miss him and Paige, it was still painful to think about them, but I needed to move on, and I was moving on.

Rolling around in my bed I finally heard the door open and Pearl and Eleanor stroll through being quiet and I flung the blankets off.

"Okay that's it! I've had it. Tell me what's going on with you two. I miss you, and you've just left me like I'm an extra garment that you don't want anymore. Were friends, so you need to tell me, I can't stand you two just up and leaving without giving me a good reason for doing so." I said sitting on the bed looking at the twins.

They both hung their heads in shame. "Desiree', bad things have happened to us, but it was in the past and we've moved on, then you brought the bad thing back into our life." Eleanor said and I felt like she had slapped me across the face. I had no idea what they were talking about.

My mouth was hanging ajar and I just blinked at her.

"Levi, she's talking about Levi." Pearl said with a huff, and I was even more confused now. I didn't bring Levi back into their life. Actually since kneeing him in the groin he hadn't come around, of course I was either working or with Erik so I didn't really give him an opportunity to find me.

"Since he came looking for you he's taken particular interest in us again. He grabs us all the time, even when were not expecting it, and there's nothing we can do about it." Pearl said and broke down into to tears. It felt like my heart was being ripped out and I got off the bed and walked over to them, but stopped halfway.

Turning to look in the mirror I wondered if Erik was watching or not, and in case he was I waved off, this was girl time, and I didn't want some guy watching and keeping tabs on this conversation. He would be informed later, for once I actually wanted Erik to physically hurt someone, and I would release Erik later, I know he would be all to happy, he seemed to always have some type of pent up anger.

"I'm so sorry girls. I really am, I know what that feels like, but don't worry, I will have him taken care of." I said and walked the rest of the way to them and put my arms around their necks pulling them close to me. They both broke down in tears, well all three of us broke down in tears.

"How long has this been going on? Why didn't you go to someone?"

They both scoffed, and I realized this wasn't my time. I have tried to put people behind bars because of of doing all that horrible things. "Pearl, Eleanor, things will be taken care of, I promise you. My suitor, well he has...connections. Just trust in me, and if we stick together, well those things won't happen anymore okay."

They both sniffed and nodded their heads. "Girls, just trust in me, if you have something you need to talk about, come talk to me, were friends, no were more like family. I like you better than most of my family anyways." I said.

After a few more tears and hugs we all retired to our spinster beds, and after my good crying jag, I had no problems getting to sleep. Talking to Erik tomorrow was a huge must, if he didn't already know and wasn't already taking care of the problem. Gah I hated that I was actually wishing Erik would do harm to him, but the guy deserved it, as any guy who rapes any girl.

**Yes, it has been two weeks, I'm so sorry. Oh also I'm shamelessly plugging mine and my bff's Katie's story, again, Nothing Like We Expected fictionpress .com/~togetherwespazesrule, if the link doesn't show up it is also on my homepage, so please, please take a look! Okay special thanks time: To ladymoonsoar for adding this story to your favorite list, and Alexis St. Claire for adding this story to your favorite list and adding it to your story alert list, you guys rock! So you can tell me what you think of the chapter, oh and it has came to my attention that this story is not showing up in the general que of Phantom stories, so if you know anyone who might like it, send them over to read it, because I'm really in need of some kind words, I've gone through something a bit dramatic and I need a few kind words of encouragement. Thanks**

**Desiree'**


	15. Moments of Love

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Phantom of the Opera**

Chapter 15

Making a promise to Pearl and Eleanor that Erik would...get rid...of Levi well that was something I didn't like that I did, but the guy had it coming. Even in this time period when that sort of thing was well just pushed under the rug, it wasn't something that I could stand by and let happen to my two friends that were more like sisters to me now. It was time for me to take a stand to what had happened to me, even though it was so many years ago. I now had the courage to at least help, even if it wasn't my predator.

The next morning when I woke, Pearl and Eleanor was still in their bed, which made me happy, I was so used to them flying the coop as soon as their feet touched the cold ground. I couldn't really place what had woken me, since it looked, and sounded, far to early. Usually we could hear people bustling out in the halls, but it was very silent, then I saw someone standing near the end of the bed and my heart gave a very unpleasant lurch and my eye's widened and I hitched in a huge breath of air to scream, but the dark figure moved quickly and placed a hand over my mouth.

"It's just me Desiree'." Erik whispered softly in my ear.

Putting my hand over my heart I could feel it fluttering like a humming bird's wings. With my other hand I reached up and removed his gloved hand from my mouth. I let out a shaky breath, I hated being surprised like that, and waking up to see a very scary Erik standing over me wasn't something I was used to. It wasn't like Erik was scary, but he was very tall and he blended in with the shadows, I couldn't tell it was him.

Reaching out with his hand Erik helped me out of bed and nodded his head towards the mirror, he must have needed to talk to me about something, though I had rather wished he had waited until morning instead of in the middle of the night. I wasn't a night person, I was a morning person and the fact that the girls and I had cried our eyes out the previous night it meant I was very, very tired.

Once we were inside the mirror I opened my mouth, but Erik kept walking and shook his head, he couldn't even see me and he knew I was about to gush forth a ton of questions, so I closed my mouth and followed Erik in the dark. I still wasn't very familiar with Erik's catacombs so I reached out for him and he took my hand and lead me down the stairs to his house across the lake, never speaking to me once.

Finally we made it to his library, one of my favorite places in Erik's house, and he sat me down on the couch and I looked up at him expectantly. After a few moment's when he didn't say anything, I started. "Is there something you need to talk to me." I asked with a touch of sarcasm in my voice and I gave a slight smile to let him know I was just joking around with him, which he didn't return. He wasn't the best at getting jokes and such.

"It's about Levi Desiree'. You were right, I was still keeping an eye over you when you were talking to the girls, as soon as I had it confirmed I went out looking for him, I usually can guess where people are, but I couldn't find him. I was lucky enough to get a small snipping of conversation that said he has fled the country, the gendarmerie were getting to hot on his tail."

Looking up at Erik I knew what he was telling me, but why was he telling me? Just to let me know that he couldn't get his hands on Levi before the police? If he was out of our hair, than that was all I cared about. As long as he didn't hurt Pearl or Eleanor again, I could care less how he was gone, though it would have been nice to know that he was tortured a little bit.

"Oh that's okay Erik, you know this could have waited until the morning, I don't care that he's left, that just means he's gone, and that's all I wanted." I said shaking my head and getting up off his couch. "Now can you take me back to bed? I'm still tired Erik." I said and yawned, and it just emphasized my point.

His eyes got wide and he grabbed my shoulders gently and bent down so he was looking directly into my eyes. "No Desiree' this is worse, I don't know where Levi is. He is a pig and he goes after what he wants, he's made it clear that he wants. You can't tell by looking at him, but Levi is a smart man. He's clever and he hasn't left, that's just his cover story so you won't be so cautious."

Erik wouldn't lie to me, and I could tell he was worried about me. "Well then what do you think I should do?" I asked.

"You need to stay here with me, I can keep you safe here. He doesn't know that we are, involved, people know of me know, but after so many men didn't return after searching for me, people have given me my distance and handed over the power of the Opera House to me."

"So I just hide? What about my job? What about the girls? That means that they are more vulnerable to Levi as well, and I can't just leave them either." I said but my eyes had gotten a bit wider. Did Erik just basically ask me to move in with him?

Shaking his head, "Desiree' I can't watch over you all day and night when your up there." I scoffed, it didn't seem like it. "It's true Desiree', I can most of the time, but not all the time." Erik said softly.

I wasn't ready to move down here and give up my life up there. I cared for Erik, a lot, but I just wasn't ready to love him, not yet. It's almost like my husband and daughter had passed away and I was grieving. How soon would I be able to move on from loosing my family? Of course, I had really been in love with Erik since I was 8 when my parents took me to see the play, I fell in love with his character, the pain he was going through, I could feel it myself, so it wasn't like I was starting out fresh with some guy I didn't know, I knew Erik.

"If he is going to come back than I would be the best bait, I just want him gone okay? I'm not totally defenseless, I got away from him once before, I could do it again." I said remembering the night I kneed Levi in the groin and spit on him.

"No!" Erik shouted out. "You will not go up as bait!" He roared and my eyes got bigger, and I nodded my head a bit.

"Okay, okay new plan. I'm sorry Erik, but I can't just leave, I'm sorry." I said softly. "I won't go up as bait, but I won't hide myself either, I can't again." I said softly my eyes still wide.

"Again? What do you mean again?" Erik asked harshly.

Shit. I bit my lip and hung my head. "I was raped when I was a kid, and I never told people I let him get away with it, and I don't want Pearl and Eleanor to go through the same pain, they should have closure." I muttered.

Erik released my arms and walked away from me, and just from looking at him I could tell he was pissed. Beyond pissed off. His shoulders were hunched up around his ears and his hands were in fists. His stride was huge as he walked out of the library, and I let him go. I knew he wasn't mad at me, just mad in general.

Sitting back down I knew Erik needed to blow off some steam and as soon as I sat down I heard glass breaking against the walls and wood splintering as he was throwing things about in another room. Then before I could even get to my feet I could hear music blasting out of his organ and instantly I was mad too. Not again, but it was to late.

I flung myself down on the ground on my knees and put my forehead to the ground covering the back of my head with my hands and screamed. I was hurt and angry and pissed off. It was like diving right into the middle of one of my reoccurring nightmares. Going back in time and watching as someone violated me all over again. I didn't want to see those images when I was awake, I had tried to bury those so deep down in my mind they wouldn't resurface, but with a few notes Erik brought them bubbling back to my memory.

Suddenly the notes faltered off and I heard quick footsteps back to the library. I was still huddled on the ground with my hands over the back of my head, but I wasn't screaming anymore, I was crying now, and Erik bent down putting his hand on my back. "I'm sorry, when I'm upset or mad I play to get ride of those emotions, and I remembered how my music was for you."

Letting out another sob, I wasn't angry, well I was, but not at Erik, he didn't do those horrible things to me. "You should get off the ground before you catch a cold Desiree'." Erik said desperately, I didn't have to look into his face to know he felt bad for causing me to cry. When I didn't move, he got on the ground and laid on his back keeping an arm over my back.

After a few moments I moved my head to his shoulder and chest and just cried, getting it all out. I had never grieved for myself after that had happened, it wasn't until years later that I even realized what had happened, I was a kid for Christ's sake. That made things even worse. I'm not sure if Erik knew what I was going through or not, but he didn't stiffen up when I moved to lay on him, he only wrapped the other arm around my back pulling me close to him, holding me, letting me cry it all out.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want, if you don't want to come down here, then you won't I will just watch over you and make sure Levi doesn't get anywhere near you." Erik said softly and I nodded my head, the tears already starting to dry up, it seems I had been crying for a long time, and I was getting so tired it wasn't even funny.

"Are you able to walk back to your room, or would you rather stay here?" Erik asked, not moving, waiting for my answer.

Right now I felt a bit numb from admitting I had been raped and crying it all out on top of already being tired, I didn't know if I could climb all those stairs. "I just want to stay here and sleep." I muttered already trying to get up off the floor, but Erik was far quicker and was already pulling me to my feet and walking me to the room I had stayed in only once before, and just like that night, I asked the same question. "Will you stay with me tonight?" I asked in a thick voice.

"If you wish." He replied as he laid me gently down on the mattress and pulled up a chair, but I pulled on his hand, "I don't want you to sit up all night, please." I said not having the courage to say sleep in the bed with me, and he got off the chair and leaned back against the headboard on top of the covers, that was better than him sitting in the chair where I couldn't touch him.

With Chad I always had some part of me touching him while he slept, I don't know why, I wasn't afraid he was going to leave me, but I liked knowing he was there, and I usually slept with one arm over his chest and my lets entwined with his legs, though if I did that with Erik than I know what would make him uncomfortable, but I did roll over on my side so I could see him and I placed my hand against his stomach gently running my fingers over his vest and the intricate stitches of design and I was soon out.

When I had woken he was still there, and asleep, his head slumped forward, his hand on top of mine, his hand, not his gloved hand, and that made me smile, his mask was starting to slip a bit on his face, and I wasn't afraid to see what was below it, because I've already seen it in movies, and plays, it couldn't be worse than what Hollywood had imagined it would be, but I knew he wouldn't want me to see so I stretched and averted my eyes and as soon as I removed my hand from his hand and stomach his eyes snapped open and he reached up and pushed his mask up on his face better.

"Did you sleep well?" Erik asked already starting to climb off the bed and I continued to stretch.

"Yeah I did." I said with a smile. I liked sleeping in a bed with someone, I was so used to it, and it felt nice to share my bed with someone again, I slept soundly and I could tell I didn't twist and turn like I normally did.

"After you were asleep I put a note for Pearl and Eleanor letting them know you had some shopping to do and then you would be in the costume department so they wouldn't go looking for you." Erik said and I nodded my head.

There was a performance today and I had to quickly get back up the stairs, skipping breakfast, though Erik offered to make me something, which was temping because he was a good cook, but we needed to make sure all the costumes were in good working order since last night's dress rehearsal.

Once up to my room Erik gave me a soft kiss on the cheek and turned to go, but I grabbed him and flung myself into his arms, startling him by this sudden affection. I just clung to Erik and he eventually put his arms around my back holding me close too. I knew then that I did love Erik, but I just couldn't get my throat to let go so I could say the words. I stood up on tiptoes and kissed him on the lips, just quickly while he was holding me close to him and I let my mind soar in those few seconds, and when I pulled back it would have been so simple to say 'I love you' but I didn't. I just pulled back and gave him a small smile and he dropped his arms from around me and gave me a slight grin and turned and walked across the bare mirror, having the glass slide back in place, and I went behind my screen and changed quickly.

Today I just left my hair down in it's long curly mess running my fingers through it, trying to tame it a bit, and I heard "I'll be watching." Float very softly to my ears and I grinned and quickly walked to the costume department, though it was empty, and I thought the girls might be getting more costumes that had a tear or needed some type of repair, there was already a few items of clothing ready to be worked on, so I sat down and got to it.

When I was working I was usually in my own little world, my mind wandered a lot, and I was thinking about Erik at that moment wondering if he was watching over me, or if he was out hunting Levi, but I bet he was watching over me because he wouldn't want to leave me in search of Levi just to have Levi show up.

After a few minutes the twins brought back another armful of clothes that needed small repairs and we got done with a few hours of the curtains up. Performances were always busy, we had to quickly fix small repairs, help the performers quickly change without ripping things, I was constantly getting shoved around as people tried to quickly get to the stage on time, or get out of the way of other people, and I had wished I pinned my hair up because it was starting to get in the way when I bent over hems that needed repairing.

It also kept me from keeping a good lookout of my surroundings since the more I worked the hotter I got and the curlier my hair got from the moisture in the hair and me rushing around, it was almost like a wall of hair. I had just got done helping a ballet girl change from her yellow costume to her blue one and sent her on her way hanging up the yellow one when I felt strong arms pull me back against a hard body and a gloved hand over my mouth to keep me from screaming, though I wasn't going to because it was Erik.

But before I could turn around he dragged me back into the shadows, which I wouldn't blame him, people would get upset if they saw the 'Opera Ghost' among them once more, though once we were back among the shadows I waited for him to let go of my mouth and stop moving but he kept moving, that's when I tried to turn around, and it wasn't Erik, it was Levi.

Erik was right, he was going to keep coming after me, and this time I tried to scream, but his hand muffled most of the noise, though I know Erik was watching out for me and would be there soon, so I struggled against Levi's hold on me, I lifted up my feet and started to kick out, I knew it would be harder for him to move me, if I wasn't moving my body with him so I kicked out and struggled and he removed his hand from my mouth to around my waist to hold me tighter.

That's when I started screaming out for Erik.

**First off I just wanted to apologize for not getting this chapter up sooner I had some personal issues that kept me from being happy, and therefor kept me from writing, then my computer had a virus and couldn't get on it for a while and I was just busy with life, but I'm home today (thanks to a dry socket) and I wanted to get all this out and I hope my faithful readers have not turned their backs to me. I'm going to see if maybe I can get another chapter up today, but I doubt it. So special thanks go out to SafetyPinStitches for adding my story to your alerts. Please make sure you check out a story me and my BFF Katie and I are writing on fictionpress, the link is on my userlook up, and also check out my story of one shot song fics, I just updated that one today also. Please, please review, it would help me feel better since I am dealing with a dry socket, and that's no fun, so cheer me up, I would really appreciate it. Thanks.**

**Desiree'  
**


	16. Horrible Sights

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Phantom of the Opera**

Chapter 16

Levi had managed to get us far enough away from the crowd that not even a passerby might be able to hear, besides the backstage was so loud with people running to and fro that I doubted that anyone might hear me anyways, but I kept screaming out for Erik.

"Your precious Erik won't hear you." Levi sneered in my ear, and I knew he had no idea who Erik was, besides the guy I danced with at the ball, if he assumed it was the same person, I couldn't remember if I had called him Erik where Levi could hear or not, I don't believe I did.

Finally Levi let go of me by flinging me into a dark room and he slammed the door shut. I couldn't believe that Erik wasn't already descending on Levi or pulling me out of harms way, but it would be hard for Erik to watch me all the time, he had told me so himself, what if Erik wasn't even aware of what was going on?

Once we were alone Levi thought he would strut over to me, and I had already stood up ready to do whatever I had to do to get out of here and alive, because I'm sure that once Levi had his way with me he would let me go just like that, but I was scared shitless and I didn't know how much a punch from me would be, I've never punched anyone before.

"Your trembling." Levi said as he walked slowly towards me. A part of me wanted to close my eyes against this horrible sight, but I didn't then I knew he would overpower me. Levi stopped short just out of my kicking range, he knew I would probably try to kick him again, and he was right.

Just when I was about to see if I could side step him and make a run for it the door crashed opened and I saw a very tall figure standing there in the doorway and my heart jumped, it was Erik, he had been keeping tabs on me like he said he would.

Turning his body around Levi turned to see who had interrupted him and I quickly moved out from behind him to the side of the room, I didn't want to be in the way of Erik's outrage, and he was outrageous, I could tell by his face, though I couldn't see much of it because it was in shadows. From what I could see Levi had gotten very pale at the sight of Erik.

Erik had told me that he hadn't let anyone see him since the Opera House burnt, so I knew Levi was scared to be paid a visit by the Phantom of the Opera. Erik quickly had out his Punjab and had lassoed Levi, but not around the neck, around the middle, and I wondered what was up Erik's sleeve, why didn't he just kill him right here and now?

Very quickly Erik pulled Levi close to him and punched him across the face, hard enough that I think I saw a tooth come flying out of his mouth. Levi suddenly went limp on his feet and Erik picked him up. "Stay here Desiree'." Erik said and quickly ran out of the room, and by the time I got out of the room I barely saw Erik's cloak go into another unused room, and I quickly followed, not caring weather Erik told me to stay where I was.

Once I got into the room, it was empty, but there was a mirror there, Erik was going to take him down to his home to deal with Levi. I didn't want to get lost, and I didn't know where to go from here, so I quickly left that room and ran through the halls, though I got stopped backstage.

"Desiree' where have you been?" Pearl asked as I fled past her. I quickly stopped, trying to catch my breath. "Whatever is the matter?" She asked concerned and put a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I said panting, "I have to go." Another pant. "Can you and Eleanor keep things together?" I asked still trying to catch my breath, my hair all over the place and she nodded and I tore off for my room once more.

Pushing people, I heard a lot of angry outbursts as I went running through the back stage and finally made it to my room and searched frantically for the little raised bump and stuck my fingernail in it and the glass slid open I quickly crossed and closed it once more and started my long trek down the winding stairs. This was the first time I was doing this on my own and I hope I didn't get lost, though I knew Erik would know I was hear, he said alarms when off when someone crossed one of the mirrors.

Even if I did get lost Erik would eventually find me, but finally I made it safe and sound to the lake, but the boat was on the other side. I quickly took off my big clunky shoes and started stripping out of my huge blue dress, all the frilly crap I have to keep on, it would only weigh me down and I was down to my black slip and I was thanking God that I didn't have a white one because the second it got wet it would be see through and I plunged into the lake until it was up to my chest then I started to swim.

I wasn't the best swimmer, but I was good enough, and it was slow going since I was already winded but finally I made it to the other side, very cold and wet and exhausted. I had no idea what Erik was doing to Levi or where, but I knew Erik's house a bit better and I walked, dripping, into Erik's spotless house.

As I set off I started opening doors I hadn't ever been in before, and I didn't want to see some of them. Most of them were just empty rooms, or rooms that held broken furniture, but one room was Erik's bedroom and I was sad to see that there was indeed a coffin with no lid and nothing else in the room, this was his bedroom, and I let out a small hurt cry to see that's where he slept, and I moved on.

Finally I made it to a door that was locked, and wouldn't open no matter how hard I banged and pushed and pulled, nothing, so I kept moving. The next door opened up to see Erik standing there at a window looking down. How much time had passed since we parted? Enough time for Erik to have already killed Levi and disposed of the body?

"I told you to stay where you were." Erik said and flipped a switch and the window vanished.

Still panting I doubled over resting my hands on my knees. "I wanted...to be with...you." I said in between my gasps for breath.

"Did you swim here?" Erik asked stepping over to me and I nodded my head. He brought me to a chair and sat me down.

"You know what I had to do Desiree' I didn't want you here for that." Erik said without looking at me.

Nodding my head, I knew Levi had to die, he had done far to much damage to live, he deserved to die. I'm not one of those people who think that anyone who does a crime should die, but I think rapists should be beaten by the parents and their victims until they die, call me harsh, but they get what's coming.

"Is he dead Erik?" I asked finally starting to catch my breath.

"Yes." He said still not looking at me. "Do you hate me now?"

Taking a deep breath, I didn't have to worry about being haunted by Levi, by looking over my shoulder after every step, I was more relieved than anything. "Of course not Erik, but where is he...what did you do with him?"

"Nothing yet." Erik said and pushed open the part of the wall that was hiding the window and closed it quickly so I couldn't see anything, except bright light. He punched a huge button and I felt something shift in his house and I looked up to Erik who had no expression on his face.

Walking away from me he placed his hands on the wall and bowed his head. "Someone will find Levi and think he committed suicide, or blame me, either way it doesn't matter."

I got up off the chair and touched his back to let him know that I was there for him, but he jerked away from my hand, and I dropped my hand feeling stupid. I thought we had moved past all of this already.

"Don't touch me." He said softly and I felt the tears spring to my eyes. "Everything I touch I ruin, I ruined Christine, from what I hear she isn't coping with being a mother very well, and she misses her singing, and that fop of a husband of her's won't let her on stage, it's beneath her, and I gave her that gift of singing. Madam Giry, well she's been only a shell of a woman since she helped me, and now here you are, you life has been hell since you've landed in my house, and here you try to comfort me for something I don't enjoy doing." He said without looking at me, then turned to me, and I could see anger on his face.

"Do you think I enjoy killing? Do you think I enjoy being able to think of things to torture people so quickly that they will kill themselves within an hour's time or two? What people think of me is wrong, I'm only flesh and blood, I have a heart, I love, I feel pain, I'm not this heartless Phantom that people think I am, that I have no face, that I don't care, love. I do!" Erik shouted as he moved around this little room throwing his arms into the air kicking in outrage.

Seeing Erik fly off the handle like, well I didn't know what to say, I just stood against the wall still dripping from my swim in his lake.

"I kill to make you safe Desiree' do you love me? This is not easy for me, it get's harder knowing my soul has long been signed over to the Devil, that he will gladly get the great killer Erik. The Devil's Child, that's what I once was, though I never stopped."

Halfway across the room he quickly made his way to me and grabbed my waist and picked me up and pushed me up against the wall. "How can you still be here knowing what I've done, how can you willingly touch me and not cringe away from me?" Erik asked as we were now face to face, my feet several dangling since he was holding me at his eye level. I hadn't bee scared of Erik in a long time, but I was now feeling it again.

It wasn't the same as with Levi, with Levi I was scared for my life, this time I was just scared, but I knew Erik wouldn't hurt me. "So what's the reason?" He asked after I didn't respond.

I didn't want to tell him like this, it was supposed to be special, right? "Because I do love you Erik." I said quietly blushing like I did the first time I told a guy I loved him. Quickly Erik let go of me, and I was expecting it, so I fell to the ground and fell to my knees. He was still standing there looking at the wall, the anger gone from his face, it looked more like shock. Had anyone ever told Erik they loved him? His mom? Dad? I doubted it.

Standing back up I was standing right in front of him though it looked like he wasn't really seeing me. "You don't know that, do you want to see what I can do?" He asked and grabbed my hand in his and dragged me over to the window that was blocked and opened it up.

What I saw made my stomach curl, Levi was hanging from what looked like a metal tree in a room full of mirrors, it was his torture room that he was going to torture Raoul in before Madam Giry had freed him. My eyes had gotten wide and I turned away from the site, I didn't want to see a naked man hanging from a metal tree even if it was Levi.

"So now do you still love me?" He asked, and though I was still shocked I nodded my head, but only slightly.

Once more Erik grabbed my hand and pulled me along his halls until we reached the bedroom I had stayed in once more. "Change your clothes, and go to sleep, I have a few things to take care of." Erik said pulling me into the room and he started to leave.

"Will you come back here once your finished?" I asked still a bit in shock as to what has been going on, I really didn't want to be left alone tonight, not with everything that's been going on.

"Do you really want me to return?" Erik asked halfway towards the door, and I nodded my head. "Then I will." He said and left to take care of Levi.

Standing in the middle of the room I glanced around not really knowing what to do with myself so I quickly changed and crawled up on the bed and folded my lets up to my chest holding myself together basically.

Erik was back actually much faster than I thought he would be and I heard him knock softly on the door. "Come in Erik." I called out softly, and he walked in and stood near the door.

"I just wanted to apologize after my melt down, I hope I didn't frighten you." I didn't answer because I didn't want him to feel bad for scaring me.

"It's okay Erik." I said quietly, and he sighed.

"No it's really not, but thank you for forgiving me." Erik said as he walked over to the bed and picked up my hand and kissed my knuckles.

I didn't really want to know, but I asked anyways. "Is everything taken care of?" I asked softly and he nodded his head.

"Will you stay with me again?" I asked quietly. "I just don't want to be alone tonight."

"Of course." Erik said and once again pulled over a chair.

"No I meant like last night." I said and moved over so he could lay with me on the bed, and like last night he stayed above the covers. When I had seen into his room, I didn't really get a good look but I hadn't seen any covers in his...bed.

"You can get under the blankets with me you know." I said softly.

"I don't sleep with blankets."

After a few moments the silence between us was actually comfortable. "Um Erik." I asked just as I was about to fall asleep.

"Yes?"

"I saw your bedroom." I said and bit my lip.

"You did?" He asked in surprise, which I was surprised about I thought he would be upset. "I was trying to look for you."

Erik actually looked a bit uncomfortable. "I don't actually sleep in there, not anymore." Erik said, "I usually sleep in my library on the couch."

"If you don't sleep there, then why was it still there?" I asked softly, but Erik didn't answer, he just started humming softly and I quickly fell asleep with my arm slung over his stomach again.

**Since I haven't updated in forever I thought I would treat you with two chapters today! If you want to thank me, then review lol. Since I've already posted one chapter today, I don't have a lot of stuff to say on here, but please, please review and let me know what you think. Thanks.**

**Desiree'  
**


	17. The Most Important Question

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Phantom of the Opera. WARNING: there is some lemony stuff in this chapter so you've been warned.**

Chapter 17

If anyone else had told me that I had been living and working in the Opera House for a year besides Erik I would have been baffled at the idea, yet it seemed about the right amount of time. Time really or the date really had no meaning for me anymore, it was so hard to keep up with, I didn't have my calendar and I didn't have any bills to pay that were circled on my calendar, so why keep track, but Erik had informed me that it had indeed been exactly one year since I 'landed' in his life.

Over the past year Erik and I had gotten close, very close. It was official now, well at least to us, that we were a couple, though if someone else were to look at our relationship you would think we would just be starting out in our relationship, but we knew how it was, I just haven't been ready to take the next...intimate...step though that was starting to weigh on me, and I hadn't really discussed it with Erik knowing that would be a very awkward conversation. Though it probably wouldn't be a good idea for me to just pounce on him, we would have to take things slow, though if we moved much slower in our relationship we would be going backwards.

A lot of other things had happened in the past year as well, Harriet, the woman who was over the costume department decided that she wanted to spend more time with her family and left, leaving me the person to step up and become head of the costume department, which at first I was going to turn it down, but Erik persuaded me to take the limelight, so to speak, so with Erik urging me on, I took the job, and now Pearl and Eleanor worked directly under me, and I think they were improving in their ideas and we worked well together.

Like any other night I was with Erik in his library and he was reading, and I was contently just leaning on him, and he had his other arm wrapped loosely around my shoulders. Trying to get my courage up I started to trace my fingers over the different designs in his clothing. I was never really good about talking about this sort of thing, I blame my parents, something that I was hoping I wouldn't pass on to Paige, and Erik seemed to guess that something was bothering me because he sighed and put down his book.

"What seems to be bothering you Desiree' or would you like to continue to trace holes in my clothing?" Erik asked and I shrugged a bit already starting to go a bit red and I just couldn't get the words out of my throat. "Well?" Erik asked when I had just opened my mouth and let it hang there trying to get the words to come out, but I couldn't, so I shut my mouth and shook my head.

"Desiree' you can talk to me about it, you know that." Erik said and pulled me a bit tighter against his chest.

Since we had gotten a bit closer, emotionally anyways, he was a bit more in control of himself, though not all the time, I mean he was Erik for crying out loud, but he was more comfortable with touching, and holding me, which I liked, and because we were closer we could read each others emotions a bit better.

After several moments of me not saying anything Erik let out a frustrated sigh and stood up, pulling me to my feet. I couldn't actually say the words, but doing the actions, well that was something I was comfortable with. I would my arms around his neck pulling his face down to mine and my lips searching out his, slowly at first them more purposefully, and Erik seemed to get what I was to much of a coward to say anything.

Our kisses rarely turned into a very passionate exchange between us because I just wasn't ready, and Erik seemed to know that about me, I had wondered from time to time if he wasn't ready yet either since he never persuaded me, but this time I was ready and if he hadn't been before, he seemed to be now.

Already that feeling that I haven't experienced in a long time was returning to me like I had never left the game and my breathing already kicked up a bit as he folded me tighter to his body and I seemed to mold against him like I was jelly, his lips moving with mine in sync. My hands were in his long slicked back hair already making a mess of it, and Erik's hands were on my shoulders pulling me close and on my waist keeping me as close to him as possible, I could feel that he was beyond ready for this too.

Suddenly his grip on my shoulders moved down to my waist and he was picking me up so he wouldn't have to lean down so far to kiss me, though he was moving, my feet hanging off the ground, knowing exactly where we were going, except instead of continuing down the hall he went into his music room and he pulled his lips away from me, though that didn't stop me, I moved them down to his neck earning a groan from him, and he set me on my feet and started to walk away, leaving me staring at him like he was crazy.

"Wait there's something I want to play." Erik said a bit out of breath and I frowned and put my hands on my hips, this wasn't really a good time for him to play some music when we had finally seemed to get over the hill that was blocking our path from this one thing.

Just as I was about to complain he started playing, it wasn't anything I had heard him play, he usually didn't try to play with me around since it always seemed to make me a big puddle of goo in his hands, but the music he started to play was so erotic that maybe this was like his idea of foreplay and my urges that were already starting to get hot seemed like they were burning hot, it was like that other piece of music he had played how many eons ago, or so it seemed and I ached for him like I had on that night, though this time there wasn't a door in my way and I all but ran to Erik who was sitting on the piano bench and I stood behind him and placed my hands on his shoulders and moved around to the front where I started to unclasp his buttons, exposing his chest and his fingers never stopped playing the music.

Lowering my mouth to his neck I made my way from his ear down to the curve where his neck met his shoulders, I dipped my hand through the V in his shirt and I felt down his chest, earning another groan from Erik. I wanted to be closer to Erik so I pulled my hands out of his shirt and wormed my way under Erik's arms and sat on his lap facing him and I kissed him opening my mouth to him and felt his hot breath in my mouth our tongues both fighting for dominance over the others.

Working my arms out of his clutches I plunged my fingers through his hair once more, glad that I didn't complain about him wanting to play music at this point and time. I couldn't take much more of this, and I was already passed the point where we could make it to my bedroom, so I unwillingly removed my hands from his hair and trailed down his chest until I reached his pants and managed to untie his pants and all of Erik came out, and since we were in his time after all I was wearing a dress and could easily rearrange myself so we were no longer two people, we were one.

Through all of our kissing Erik hadn't strayed from the music, but when I moved myself onto him his fingers faltered and we both let out a gasp and he moved his hands to my hips slowly helping me along, and even though Erik had stopped playing music the fire, the passion was still there as I slowly rocked my hips Erik's hands helping me along.

This was pretty much like my first time since it had been so long since my last time. Our breathing became ragged and we had to keep our lips apart so we could actually breath, and soon things became easier for me and I started to move my hips faster, his grip on my hips became harder as he gripped me and moved me, and I was close to my climax, as was Erik because his hand moved from my hip to my hair, tugging on it, and when Erik cried out in pleasure, my cries were shortly behind his, my chest heaving trying to catch my breath as I stayed where I was, my forehead leaning forward to rest on his shoulder.

From finally making my mind up about being ready to this, well it seemed to go rather fast, and I had only wished it had taken a different path. Well we were just so frantic, next time we could take our time and do things properly.

When I pulled back to look at Erik I had a slight smile on my face, but he couldn't quit meet my eyes, he kept looking off to the side. My smile slipped off my face. "What is it Erik?" I asked softly and he gently lifted my off him and I frowned at him as he got up off the bench and he started to fix his pants and he got off the bench the other side of me.

"I shouldn't have done that." Erik said gruffly.

"What in the world are you talking about Erik?" I asked suddenly getting worried.

"I took advantage of you." He muttered running his fingers through his hair as he started to pace around the room.

"Uh, how did you do that?" I asked still confused. "I believe I started the whole thing."

"Yes, but we had not discussed this and I used my music against you, I didn't care weather you were ready or not, I knew it would work, and look what I did." Erik said and walked over to the wall and hit it hard, and it made me jump. Did he just break his hand?

"Jeez Erik!" I said walking over to him and stopping short, "Your kind of ruining this moment for me you know." I muttered wishing this hadn't of happened. I was expecting him to express his love for me, though we already knew, something sweet, not this anger that was coming out of him. "This is what I wanted, I just don't have the courage to say it, I thought actions spoke louder than words."

Erik had stopped his pacing and turned to me, I glanced down at his hand, and the knuckles seemed red, but hopefully they weren't broken. I slowly took a step towards him to see if he would start passing again, and he didn't and I reached for his hand. It wasn't like I could tell if it was broken or not, I can't see through skin.

"Did you break your hand?" I asked and he shook his head no.

"So your not mad at me?" Erik asked, almost like he was shocked, and I rolled my eyes.

"Of course not Erik, this was something I wanted too." I said and blushed a bit. "I like that you got your music involved."

Knowing that Erik wouldn't pull away from me, I took another step towards him and wrapped my arms around his waist, leaning my head against his chest, hearing his heart beat, it was a nice and sturdy rhythm.

We stood that way for a while, and I was starting to get tired from standing and I leaned on him more, I had done all the work and then standing didn't help me much. "You must be tired." Erik whispered in my ear and I nodded against his chest. Very quickly Erik had picked me up, bridal style and carried me to the lake.

"Why are you taking me back up? I can't stay with you tonight?" I asked feeling disappointed.

"I'm sorry Desiree' but your room is unusable at the moment." Erik said and that surprised me, since I had slept in there only a few nights ago.

"What's wrong with it?" I asked.

For a moment Erik didn't want to answer me, but I waited, knowing that he would in the end. "I'm changing a few things about it." I waited for him to tell me more but he didn't say anything. We had reached the boat and he set me in it gently and he got in and started to make our way across.

"Are you going to tell me what your doing to it?" I asked after a few moments.

With a shake of his head, "No, you will just have to be patient."

Normally I was quite patient, but this seemed more important, more exciting than anything in a long time, and maybe because I hadn't had to be patient for anything in a while it threw me off, but suddenly I got the urge to jump out of the boat, swim back to his house and see what he was doing to it, but I didn't. I sat there like a good girl as the boat stopped moving once we reached the other side.

Once more Erik picked me back up in his arms and carried me to my room. Since I was the head of the costume department I had gotten a little apartment, of sorts. It was only a touch bigger than the room I shared with Pearl and Eleanor, but I had the place to myself, and the bed was bigger, and most importantly, there was a mirror there.

After he had set me on my bed, I didn't have to ask if he would be staying with me, he usually did, and he waited for me to pull my gown off, I had wriggled my corset off and was in my white slip, that's usually what I slept in. I crawled under the covers and made myself comfortable, but Erik hadn't got in the bed with me, though he still slept above the covers, he was just standing there.

Raising my eyebrows I looked at him and patted the bed. "There's a spot that's calling your name." I said softly, we had to be quiet in my room because we didn't know who could be outside the door listening, though I ever doubted that anyone would be passing through the halls this late at night.

It seemed that Erik was indecisive and he picked up my dress that I had just taken off and laid on the back of the chair and hung it in the bureau where it belonged and once more I patted the bed where I was waiting for him to join me, but he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me. Very slowly he started to take his extra clothing off, getting comfortable, but he was doing it in a very slow way and I was becoming impatient for him to lay with me.

"Are you not wanting to stay tonight?" I asked wondering if this was what was keeping him from getting a move on it, but he shook his head no.

Sitting up I moved to the end of the bed and stood up, I knew something was wrong, and he didn't want to share it with me. "What is it Erik? I know something is bothering you." I asked in a whisper.

Finally Erik took his jacket off and turned to me, his white mask glinting in the soft light that filled my room. Though I knew was was under it, he had still not taken his mask off around me, and I was smarter than to ask him to. When/if he was ready to share that with me, I would be prepared, but I wasn't going to force him.

Taking a step to me he grabbed my hands. "This needs to be right." Erik muttered to himself and I looked up into his eyes confused.

"Desiree' I've come to learn that what I feel for you is real love. I know now that I can't be without you, it's like your my very reason for living and this needs to be right but the words are flying out of my head like the wind through the trees." He said softly looking down into my eyes. "I love you."

That made me smile, I knew Erik had his sweet moments, like I always knew he would. "I love you too Erik."

Taking a deep breath Erik suddenly got down on one knee and my eyes popped open. "Desiree' will you marry me?"

**Another cliffy, I know I'm terrible! But at least it is a happy cliffy :D Okay so I know I said I would have this posted on Thursday, and it is now almost Monday morning, but I got busy lol. Special thanks time: ** **thanks for adding my story to your favorite list and thanks to **SuchRidiculousThoughts **for also adding my story to your favorite list! It really means a lot to me. So my next day off is Wednesday, but since I'm going to the midnight showing of Eclipse (Whoohoo!) I don't plan on getting home until 3 and I have a ton of cleaning to do, so it may be not next week, but the week after for another update, it depends on my schedule, but please, please, please review and let me know what you think of this chapter, and the lemony stuff. Oh and also check out the story I'm writing with my BFF, you can get the link to it on my profile, please leave a review of that to and let us know what you think. Thanks to all my awesome reviewers who did review my last chapter, I love reading them, they totally make my day.**

**Desiree'  
**


	18. A Shocking Move

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Phantom of the Opera**

Chapter 18

The words echoed in my head 'Desiree' will you marry me?' and my eyes flew open. My hand flew up to my forehead to find it damp with sweat. My breathing was hitching in and out of my body in gasps, things were so disorientated and I looked around to not see Erik in front of me. I was looking at the blank wall in my empty head seamstresses room. I was all alone, the murkiness of everything coming together was confusing. Had it all been a dream? All of it?

Leaning up on my elbow I pushed myself up in my lonely bed. No it hadn't all been a dream, I was the head seamstress, and it had been a year since I somehow landed here. Letting out a shaky breath I realized that the intimate part had also been part of my dream. Tears had actually sprang to my eyes at the realization that none of it was real and I shook my head at the silliness of it. I should have known that it wasn't real, Erik was way out of his character in asking me to marry him, at least that way.

Laying back down against the pillows I sighed and tried to close my eyes, but sleep wouldn't come to me. So for the next few hours I went over my stupid dream at the thought of what could have been, what I want to happen, at least the intimate part, marrying Erik, well I wasn't sure what I would have said. A part of my brain was saying yes, but another part was saying no. What would that entail? Would I have to give up my life of being above ground? Could I stand to live in Erik's house never seeing sunlight again? Would he make me live like that? I know Erik would never come above ground, he was a very wanted man.

Eventually I could hear people starting to move around outside my room and I, very tiredly, got out of bed and got dressed in a blue gown, quickly throwing my hair up, I wouldn't be seeing Erik until later this evening, where we usually had dinner together. Pearl and Eleanor had long stopped asking me about my suitor and why I didn't accept their plans for dinner and strolls through the park.

Once I was presentable I would go and find Pearl and Eleanor and we would go get a quick bite to eat and head to the costume department where we would work hard. Although the twins had more experience in this area, I was chosen head seamstress because of my age, and I had changed a few things from what we were used to and it made everything run smoother and faster. I never had to wonder if Erik was watching me or keeping an eye on me now, although I couldn't see him I just knew he was there. It wasn't like I could feel his presence or anything, I just knew.

The end of the work day would never come quick enough for me, still after a year I had to keep myself from running to my room where I know Erik would be waiting for me, but when I got there this evening my room was empty and I was a bit shocked, he had never been late. I just kind of stood in the doorway not really knowing what to do, but I slowly walked in and closed the door behind me with a soft thump and sat down on my bed waiting for Erik.

I could very easily find my way down to his house now, but if he wasn't here, then he probably wasn't in his house. Maybe he was off doing something in the midst of the Opera House. Though just sitting still had never been one of my strong points and I got up off the bed and started to pace my small room, with each passing moment getting me worried, and angry at the same time. If we had plans, then Erik shouldn't be breaking them, yet I was worried, what if there was something wrong.

Making my way back to my bed I picked up a book and started to read, not really reading, my eyes kept wandering from the pages to the mirror waiting for the glass to slide back, yet it stayed silently in it's place, not moving, and the silent clock was booming in my ears.

50 pages had been read, though I didn't absorb anything and I flung the book to the floor, not caring if I ruined the book at the moment, though I would care later probably and in a huff I was back on my feet walking back towards the mirror. My fingers found the little bump and I worked my nail into the little slit, but nothing happened and I frowned and pushed it in further, still nothing and I let out a frustrated grunt. I hit the glass with my hand leaving a hand print on the glass.

Why wasn't the mirror working? After one more failed attempt at trying to open the mirror I shook my head and flung myself towards the door very upset right now, and I was out the door in a few moments, and I had walked into mass pandemonium in the halls. People were running around with angry looks upon their faces, women were crying in corners, and I couldn't believe I didn't hear the noises, but I suppose I was so into myself at the moment I didn't hear anything else.

I found Meg Giry among one of the crying girls, so I walked up to her.

"Meg what in the world is going on?" I asked placing a hand on her shoulder.

Pulling her small hands away from her tear stained face her eyes were wide in worry. "You haven't heard?" She asked and I shook my head no. "Christine has vanished inside the very walls of the Opera House, the Phantom is still among us and he still loves her, but that's not the worst part, he's also taken her baby."

Absolute shock was on my face. No, that can't have happened. Erik and I were together, he didn't still love Christine, he loved me, I knew he did. My head started to shake side to side, and Meg took it as worry. "Don't worry Desiree' Raoul is forming an army to go and collect her, she will be back with us soon."

I pulled my hand away from her shoulder like she had burnt me and I turned and backed away from Meg. Now I understood the angry looks. Raoul and Christine were still big names in the Opera House, though they never attended, this was the first time in four years now.

How could Erik do this to me? Was I so gullible to believe that Erik loved me? Had I just been someone there to replace Christine until he could have her back? Tears sprang to my eyes and a sob came out of my mouth, yet no one noticed me, I fit in with every other girl at the moment, except my sorrow was for another reason. I had to find a way down to Erik's house and find out for myself.

Making my way into a empty room I found the mirror I was looking for. Once more I tried the mechanism to see that it wouldn't work. Turning away from the mirror I found a rather heavy candelabra. Was I that desperate to break the mirror? Yes.

I threw the candelabra hard at the mirror only to have it leave an ugly crack in it. I desperately picked it up again and threw it hard, making a small hole this time. After two more throws I made a big enough hole to kick out the rest of the glass and walk through the hole. I flat out ran through the dark halls feeling my way to a familiar place.

Since that day I had to swim across the lake Erik had gotten another boat, and left it on the shore in case I ever needed to use it and I pushed it into the lake and rowed across not knowing what I would find. Would I find Erik cheating on me? Why was I this desperate to break my own heart?

Finally reaching the other side I pushed the boat up on the shore and could hear a baby's cry. So it was true. I was already dirty from rushing around and my face was tight from crying. My breathing was now almost in hyperventilation as I realized that this was all a farce. Somehow I made my legs move and I made it to the door and opened it slowly hearing the baby's cry only louder now. My whole body felt like it was rubber and I had no idea how I could actually move when I felt like this.

Following the sounds of the crying I soon was outside the door. I could hear angry voices coming through the door, but it was the angry voice of Erik, not Christine's voice that I had expected to hear. Flinging the door open I saw a very tall Erik shouting at Christine who was holding a crying baby in her arms.

When the door crashed open both Erik and Christine's eyes turned to mine. I could see the angry look in Erik's eyes turn from pain when he met my accusing gaze. Though Christine's eyes were cold and angry, I had never in my life though I would see her angry like this. I had always admired Christine, though she may be a bit naïve, I thought she was a strong woman when she wanted to be.

"Is she the reason why?" Christine barked out at Erik and he wouldn't take his eyes away from mine, once more tears were streaming down my face, and Erik turned away from me and turned his cold eyes back to Christine's and moved grabbing her by the arm.

"Yes, now leave, as you can see I have company, besides your _husband_ will be looking for his wife and daughter." He said and without one escorted Christine right by me, my face still in shock. I wanted to rage against him, slap him, scream at him something, but I couldn't make anything move like I had earlier.

Stopping by me he still had Christine by the upper part of the arm. "Stay here." Erik said a bit softer to me and continued to escort Christine out, and once I heard his front door close I let myself collapse again the floor, my whole body shaking, I had no intention of staying here tough.

After gathering my whits about me I pulled myself from the floor and quickly rowed myself back across the lake. I was terrified that Erik would already be coming back and make me go back with him, and I was desperate for that not to happen. One of the things I couldn't stand was cheaters and men who hit women. Was this technically cheating though? It felt like it even if there was nothing that had happened.

Blindly I ran through the dark until I came to the first entryway I found. I had never gone through this one before, but I didn't care. I would find out where I was once I got out and I found out I was somewhere near the horse stalls, almost outside. Maybe that was where I should go, outside. Erik wouldn't come looking for me outside the safety of the Opera house, and I made my way through the stalls until I could feel crisp air on my wet face and I ran, and I ran, and I ran.

I hadn't really been out of the Opera House on my own a lot, Pearl, Eleanor and I might take an occasional stroll, but I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, I was pushing people out of my way, running across the road, almost getting hit by a horse and buggy, and stumbling around the streets like I was a drunkard.

Right now I was numb, I couldn't feel the pain, but was that better? Not feeling the pain and shutting everything out? I wouldn't think about that yet, I was just focusing on getting away from, well everything right now. Up ahead of me I saw a huge church looming out of the darkness, that was where I would stop running, now I had a path and I slowed down and made my way to the church, pushing open the door enough for me to slip through. Candles were lit and I walked down the aisle until I was in the third pew from the back and sat down to catch my breath.

My hair had come partially out of it's bun I had put in it this morning hanging around my face in clumps, my chest rising and falling quickly as I tried to slow my breathing down. I let my head fall forward so my forehead was resting on the wood from the pew in front of me. If anyone were to look at me, it might look like I was praying.

Why did I even go looking for Erik? I knew it would only end in misery for me, I didn't even get the answers I had been looking for when I had ventured down there, I left before I could find out. It was such a wasted trip only to hurt myself.

"Child do you need guidance?" A soft voice asked behind me. It must be the preacher.

I looked up to see it wasn't a preacher, but a father, I must be in a Catholic church. "I just need a safe place father." I whispered to him.

"Your safe here my child." He said and placed a hand on my shoulder but kept it there for a short second and moved on.

Since I didn't get a lot of sleep because of that weird dream and from all the tears I had cried, and my mad dash, I was beyond tired. My eyes slipped closed and I slumped down in the pew wondering if I would get in trouble for sleeping, but at this time I didn't care, I was wrecked.

I awoke to hearing the father standing over me. "She is here for protection, so you can leave." The father squeaked out and I looked up to see an upside down Erik. Shit! How in the hell had he found me? Does he have a damn homing device on me?

"Watch your step father." Erik almost barked out at him and I could see his eyes close into dangerous slits, and before I could protest Erik's hands were on my arms pulling me over his shoulder. "Speak of this to no one." Erik say and I could see Erik handing a small wad of money to the father who only took it and walked off.

"I don't want to hear any of your excuses Erik." I said not bothering to struggle, he was much stronger than me and I know it wouldn't do any good, I had officially bowed to his will.

"I told you to stay where you were." Erik said in anger as we walked out of the church, it was very dark outside so it must be early morning.

Letting out a scoff, "Like I care." I said but my voice gave me away, I did care.

Erik walked to a carriage that was waiting and deposited me inside, he crawled in after me, but we weren't going back to the Opera House.

"Just where do you think your taking me?" I asked crossing my arms and childishly moving to the bench across from him.

"We have to leave, Christine ruined everything."

Again, I scoffed. "Yeah you could say that again."

Erik hit the side of the carriage in anger. "She came looking for me Desiree'!" Erik shouted at me. "I didn't pull her down to my house, she found her way down, I thought it was you because I heard the alarms going off, but I only met her, she said she missed me and was confused about why I hadn't come looking for her."

I desperately wanted to believe that, and Erik could tell I was still not believing. "It's true, I don't love her, I love you, but she's ruined that for us, after bringing Christine back up I returned to see you had left, I didn't need to go any farther than the lake, and when I went looking for you I could hear them coming to look for me, this time they weren't going to give up without a fight, and I went looking for you, and I heard Pearl saying that she saw you running through the stalls and away from the Opera house. It was easy to follow you, you left people disgruntled behind you."

"That doesn't answer where were going." I said.

Moving to sit besides me, "Don't you get it, we can't stay here, and I'm not leaving without you. I have more than enough money to take us where we need to go and hide for as long as we need to, were going wherever the ship is sailing to."

"What! I don't want to leave, and I definitely don't want to go with you."

Erik hung his head, "Please Desiree' I know your mad, but you have to believe me, this past year has been better for me than any of my others, you know I love you, and I know you love me, you may be mad right now, but you will get over it, once you realize I'm right."

Maybe.

The carriage slowed and we were at the docks, and grabbing my hand he pulled me out of the carriage and grabbed a valise that I hadn't noticed before. Sticking to the shadows he eventually found the captain. "Where is this vessel headed?" Erik asked barely making himself visible.

"Am..America." The captain stuttered, and Erik handed him a larger bundle of money than the priest. "Keep us comfortable while we sail." Erik said and walked onto the ship leading me behind him without another word to either me or the captain.

**First off, yell at me if your mad that I made the marriage proposal a dream :P, also please, please, please tell me what you think about bringing Christine back into the mix and what you though of how I pulled it off. Special thanks time: Thank you to **Eriklover101 **for adding my story to your alert list. Also a huge thanks to everyone who has reviewed the last chapter, I'm glad everyone is loving it so far! I love reading reviews they totally make me day, and I have a really have a horrible job that I can't wait for it to be over, and I need a little cheer in my day, so cheer me up and review please!**

**Desiree'  
**


	19. Getting the Story Straight

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Phantom of the Opera**

Chapter 19

'Keep us comfortable while we sail', those six words swirled around in my head constantly. Bending to Erik's will wasn't something that I was okay with doing, but I couldn't change that now. After speaking those words the Captain caught up to us in a moments time, I assumed he was counting the wad of cash Erik had given him to see how comfortable to make us, and when he did catch up with he, he led us to a room, said if we needed anything to ask for him and took his leave. Erik had clung to the shadows the entire time, so not to give himself away. Not a lot of people walked around wearing a while half mask.

The entire time I hadn't made a peep while we were following the Captain. What good would it have done if I had screamed and tried to get away? It would only cause more problems for Erik, which I wouldn't have cared about, except he had made it very clear that he wasn't going to go anywhere without me, and if I made things hard for Erik, then I would be making things hard for myself.

After we were there for only a few minutes a knock was heard at the door and the man who was driving the carriage brought in two bigger bags, nodded and left. I assumed it was our clothes.

Once we were alone, Erik dropped my hand and I walked over to the little bed and sat down staring at the wall. I was still so hurt and angry I didn't want to talk to him, but since we were on a boat, there wasn't a whole lot of places I could go, plus I'm sure until we got some kind of story going Erik wouldn't let me out of his sight. So who knew how long we would sit in here, because I wasn't about to just willing talk to Erik.

Moving around the room, Erik stopped right in front of me, and I stared up at him without uttering a word. "I have managed to get us out of here safely, but some things need to be determined if we want to stay safe. It won't take me long to get our story circulating, but you need to be prepared to keep to the story, otherwise you will make things very difficult for us everywhere we go." Erik said, and I just continued to look at him without changing our expression and I could tell that Erik was becoming impatient with me.

"As you know we are now sailing towards America, and we can start anew there. I have managed to procure enough money to keep us very comfortable until I can send for the rest of our things. Now for the two of us, were going to have to say that were married." At those words I jerked my face around to actually look at Erik instead of at the wall.

"What? You want us to pretend that were married?" I asked in shock.

"Not pretend. Obviously we can't get married now as I'm going to tell people this is our honeymoon, but we need to act and look like were married, which until a few hours ago I'm thinking wouldn't have been such a problem for you as it is now." Erik said with a frown.

At those words I felt my uncaring gaze turn softer. Did I really believe that it was Erik that turned Christine down? It sure looked that way. Besides it seemed that Erik had to drag Christine out of his house, if he really wanted to be with her, wouldn't he have had me leave? Weather this was the truth or not, I was still upset, and because I was so stubborn I was going to keep up my hurt, but still go along with what Erik said.

Maybe sensing that he was starting to win me over again he bent down and opened his valise and pulled something small out of his bag. It was so small that he could hold it in his fist. Seeming nervous he slowly extended his hand and opened it, palms up so I could see three rings there. At closer inspection I saw it was an engagement ring, and two wedding bands.

"How...when did you get these?" I asked in confusion as I reached out and plucked all three rings out of his hand.

"I prepare for everything." Erik said stiffly.

Frowning at his coldness I said, "Is it really custom to have an engagement ring at this time?" I asked? Where I was from it was, but I didn't know the customs for the 1870's.

"For upper-class some women do, and where were going I want to be received as upper-class." Erik explained.

Since it was getting later the sun was going down and it was very dim inside our room, since it only had one small round window and it was was kind of hard to see what the rings actually looked like, and it seemed that Erik could sense what I thinking for he lit one of the lamps on the table next to the bed and I scooted closer to the lamp to see the rings.

Long ago I had taken the necklace off that held my wedding band and engagement ring from Chad, it felt like a betrayal to wear them and love Erik at the same time. The ring was stunning. Instead of one big diamond it held several small diamond, in the shape of a flower. The diamond in the center was slightly bigger then the ones in the 'petals'. The ring was dainty and different than anything I had ever seen before.

Again I stared up at Erik. How had he managed to get himself a diamond ring if he was out looking for me? Had he had this ring for a while? Was this the ring he had originally given Christine?

"This is the best way I can see us escaping and getting out of this mess unscathed." Erik said softly.

"Wow, I...I just don't know what to say Erik." I said softly, forgetting that I was mad at him.

"Does this mean I'm forgiven?"

I looked up at him with a look that said 'are you serious' and rolled my eyes. "Not entirely, but this is something that your...okay with?" I asked.

Just as I had done a moment ago, Erik took the the engagement ring and the smaller wedding band out of my hand. Taking my left hand he gently slid both rings onto my finger one at a time. "I do love you Desiree' and even if things may have turned out differently, it's only you that I want for a wife. This is going to be the closest thing to a wedding we can do. By accepting these rings, your going to take me for everything and we will become husband and wife."

Looking down at my left hand I saw the two rings in place, and it felt funny, as it would for a few hours until I got used to them being there. I still had Erik's wedding band in my right hand, as as I had done at my wedding to Chad I started to get all teary eyed.

As quickly as he could Erik took his gloves off. Wishing I was more poetic I wanted to say something just as sweet as he had said to me, but I was at a loss for words at the moment. "I do accept you Erik, and I love you. I want us to be husband and wife in fact as well as in theory." I said as the silent tears slipped down my cheeks.

Sliding his ring onto his finger I got up off the and he pulled me close so my head was leaning on his chest.

"That's it, were now married." Erik said softly and I gave a light chuckle and lifted my head off his chest to look at his face and he leaned down and placed his lips to mine softly, holding me close. I took my arms from around his back and wound them around his neck.

For several moments we stood that way, kissing each other, embracing, then we felt a great big lurch and we broke apart. "Time for takeoff." Erik whispered in my ear.

Both nervousness and excitement went through my body as our boat took off from the harbor. "You must be hungry." Erik said and my stomach grumbled as though confirming what he said. "We should familiarize ourselves with the ship anyways."

Walking hand in hand we left our darkening room and entered a barely lit hallway with people rushing around with laughter, they were all migrating the same way, and Erik and I fell in place with the rest of the crowd. Thankfully Erik's appearance wasn't widely known as the Opera Ghost so he wouldn't be recognized, but people did seem to melt away from us, Erik was after all very tall, and with his white mask, people didn't take to him very well.

Eventually we were hustled to the front of the boat where people were saying goodbye to the land and the last of the sunlight. The only older ship I had ever seen was the Titanic, and this ship was nothing like it. For one, it wasn't as grandeur nor nearly as big, and I figured everything would be a little different than something like that.

After walking around we finally found some type of mess hall, and it was more buffet style then order off a menu type of deal and Erik and I got a little bit and found a small table in the corner of the room. Quickly we ate what little dinner we could and decided to head back to our room.

Since we were married now, I had every intention of making my dream I had only one night ago come true and Erik opened the door for me, and I walked across the threshold but stopped only two steps in, where Erik followed me in and closed the door.

Taking a deep breath I took a step closer to Erik and put my arms around his neck and kissed him. Softly at first, then getting deeper until both our breathing was kicked up and we were clinging to each other like we were the only two people alive.

Moving my hands down from his neck I started to fumble with the buttons and clasps on his shirt, vest and jacket until he everything was open and his chest was exposed. I ran my hands up and down his chest, our lips never breaking until I made my way down to his pants and I started to unbutton and untie them, when I felt his hands grab my wrists and push me back a step.

Blinking up at him I wasn't sure what he was doing. "No Desiree' we can't." Erik said in a thick voice.

Confusion swept through me. I knew it wasn't like he didn't want to, I could fee that Erik was ready for that. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"I don't want to put you through that." Erik muttered and turned his face away from mine.

A blush broke out over my face. I was never good at voicing this stuff.

"Just because were saying were married, and were going to act like were married, well I don't expect you to have to do that."

The blush from my cheeks expanded. "I won't force you and I don't expect you to fulfill that part of your wifely duties." Erik said and took his hands from my wrists and started to re-button up his shirt. After he got one done again, I reached out and stopped his hands this time.

"Erik this is something I started not because I knew you were expecting me to, but because I wanted to. If were going to be married I want us to be really married in fact as well as in motion." I said softly knowing my face had never been as red as it was now.

It seemed that Erik was stunned and I pulled myself closer to him once more. I quickly undid his one remaining button on his shirt and quickly did the same to his pants. I had learned long ago how to undo my own clothes, with all the loops and ties, but it would be better if Erik did it for me tonight, so once he was out of his own clothes I turned around so he could untie the blue dress I was still wearing.

While he was slowly untying it I reached up and started to pull the pins from my hair until it was completely down. Finally the top of my dress became loose and slipped down my body until I was in my corset and slip and Erik started to undo those as well. As soon as my shoulders were free he lowered his mouth and placed soft kisses on my shoulder blades.

Once my slip was off I turned around and Erik moved his hands from my waist up to my breasts, but not for long, his hands were all over my body, and I was running my hands all over his body as well and we started kissing each other again. Very slowly we started to move towards the bed, exploring each other with our hands and lips until my legs hit the bed and Erik gently pushed me down on the bed where I scooted back until I was completely on the bed.

Crawling on the bed Erik moved towards me and nestled himself between my legs and moved his mouth to mine and he slowly slipped into me and I took my mouth away from Erik's as a gasp came out of my mouth. My hands gripped his shoulders as Erik started to move faster inside me.

It had been well over a year since I had sex, and I knew this was basically like starting all over again. Both of our breathing sped up with his increased speed and it didn't take long until I knew we were both close to our climax.

Letting out a moan I climaxed, and Erik let out a groan. After a moment Erik pulled himself out of me and rolled over so he was flat on the bed next to me. I turned to my side and could already feel his semen starting to come out of me and I slung my arm over his chest as our breathing started to go back to normal, though it was several minutes before both of us had stopped gasping for breath.

I hadn't realized that I had started to doze off until I felt Erik pull the covers out from under me and covered me up. Our room was a bit drafty, and since we were both still naked, Erik crawled under the blankets as well, pulling me close to him, warming me in more than one way, but he simply just held me and I was soon starting to drift off to sleep once more.

"Desiree?" Erik asked so softly I barely heard him.

"Yeah?" I answered back after a few moments.

"Why have you never asked me to remove my mask?" He asked softly.

Turning over I gazed at his face in the dark gloom. "I know it's a sensitive subject for you, and I didn't want to push you into removing it if you didn't feel comfortable with it."

"I do love you." Erik whispered and I grinned softly and nodded.

"I know." I said softly and got more comfortable. Erik moved his hands to my hair and started running his fingers through it, and it was lulling me to sleep, just like if he had been humming or singing to me. What a way to end the night, I thought with a silly grin as I officially drifted off to sleep on the rocking boat.

**Yes I know I'm a terrible author for keeping everyone waiting for ages for this chapter! I don't even have a good excuse except writers block. Well anyways it's gone now, and I though I would treat my awesome readers with the first REAL fluff of the story! Whoohoo, so tell me what you though about the marriage and all the lemony stuff :). Okay now special thanks time: Penmora Zenith for adding my story to your story alert's; okieredrose for adding my story to their story alert; Lessy: I'm glad your loving the story and I would have replied to your review, but you are a guest so I though I would do it here. I hope you like this chapter!; SuchRidiculousThoughs for adding my story to your story alert; and last but not least Musicalroza999 for adding my story to your favorite list and story alert. All of you are awesome! Also thank you to my faithful readers/reviews, you guys make my day when I see someone has reviewed my chapters so keep reviewing :P.**

**Desiree'  
**


	20. What lies under it all?

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Phantom of the Opera**

Chapter 20

I have never been on a boat for so long before, the longest was a faerie ride I took with my parents when I was younger, but they go so slow it's hard to even tell your moving, this was different. I was sea sick for most of the trip, I couldn't even tell you how long we were out to sea, but it felt like a lifetime. I could tell Erik was starting to get worried about me because I couldn't keep anything down. Food would smell so good and I would eat it, but moments later I would get the feeling of the sea and I would throw it up. When we reached land I was so grateful that I almost got down and kissed the bare earth.

What were we going to do, I knew Erik had no connections in America, and he may have had money but where were we going to stay until we could buy a house? A hotel wouldn't be practical, Erik still didn't like going out in public, he was worried about how people would react to him, but when I voiced such fears to him he told me not to worry and he has already gotten everything taken care of. I felt very unsure of this but went along with him anyways, I knew there was no getting around him, I had bent to his will that night we left the Opera House, but it didn't feel as bad as it had then. Now we were partners. Married. That made things different between us, well sort of. Erik would still take charge of everything, that was just more of this time though.

When I was in my 'normal' time Chad and I were equal 'head of house' in that we both had responsibilities to do different, he would bring home a paycheck, come home and help me with Paige and with the house. I would take care of the bills, and I was a stay at home mom, I did everything under the sun, but Chad helped me, so we were equal. Now during this time, this century that wasn't the case, I was supposed to stay home and just be a meek little wife...yeah that wasn't going to work for me, but appearances can be deceiving, we would just have to deceive people as best we could.

Instead of checking into a hotel, we showed up at a small little bed and breakfast type place where a kindly older woman showed us our room, giving questioning looks to Erik. Once we were alone, our bags open on the bed, I turned to Erik. "So how long are we going to stay here?" I asked slowly unpacking our belongings into a chest of drawers.

"Our house is already being built. Before coming to collect you in that church I had sent out an order for exactly what I wanted. I already owned the land and had blueprints sent out, it will be a while yet, but it's under way." Erik said sinking down onto the bed and removing his shoes.

Confusion went through my body...why would Erik already have property in America? That just seemed like utter dumb luck, and luck didn't really go with my life. "So what you just go and buy unseen land in foreign countries?" I asked Erik halfway between the dresser with clothes in my hand.

Erik shrugged his shoulders slightly and closed his eyes, he looked tired. "I have properties in several countries, I needed to make sure I had a fail proof escape plan if I ever needed it, and if I didn't, it wouldn't worry me, I have plenty of money stored away and it didn't hurt having property in different places."

Letting out an impressed hump I continued to put clothes away, and when I got down and put our luggage under the bed Erik gently pulled me down on the bed with him. We haven't really been able to be 'together' since our one time, I was so sick the entire trip I couldn't think of anything besides throwing up...not exactly romantic.

"Feel better being on solid land?" Erik asked softly as he started slowly untying my clothes, and I grinned and trembled slightly at his hands, this was still fresh and exciting for me, but it wasn't a terrified tremble, it was just excitement and I think Erik understood that.

After our time together, we lay in each others arms, just enjoyed being with each other again. Soon Erik had gotten the water for a bath and I sank deep into the tub enjoying the very hot water, Erik's hands were in the water rubbing a bar of soap on my legs and feet. I hated people touching my feet, I hated people even thinking of my feet, I just hated feet, but it didn't really bother me that Erik was just trying to be sweet and take care of me, since we 'got married' he seems to be okay about his feelings for me, that is he isn't as standoffish as I thought he might be. Besides that one moment when he was telling me I didn't have to perform that part of being a wife, he's been very hands on.

Of course I have been sick and very weak, sometimes I could barely walk after throwing up so much, and he would have to carry me back to our room and try to nurse me, so he is okay about being sweet when it's just the two of us. I wouldn't expect him to do things this romantic when we were around people, but that wasn't often.

Since leaving the Opera House I knew things were going to be safe for us, he wouldn't have to hide underground. People probably still believed that Erik had kidnapped Christine and her daughter, there would be no changing that, besides Erik had already kidnapped Christine once, what's to keep him from doing again...well at least in other people's mind.

"Do you think people are still searching for you?" I asked Erik.

Erik dropped the bar of soap on the floor. "People are going to be looking for me for years, but it matter's not, we are here and safe. People are going to think that I kidnapped or killed you too since you disappeared right as I did. People are always going to talk and continue to think that the Opera Ghost is about, the smallest disasters that happen is going to be my fault for years and years even after I am dead, my name will never be in good standing."

It made me sad to hear Erik talk that way, but I knew it was true, even in my time people still thought that the Opera House is haunted. Erik's name will never be good, and he still believes that he is the Devil's Child, and there was nothing I could do to change his mind. He knows he's sinned and there will be nothing to change that.

After a few day's Erik and I settled into a routine that suited us both. We would dine together early in the dining area, and after that retire to our room for quiet time, we would talk, or read or just write. I would sometimes write letters to Pearl and Eleanor, never getting to send them, but it still made me happy writing them, thinking they would receive them and know that I was okay and not dead as people thought me. Then we would pack a light lunch of bread and cheese and walk out into the woods that surround the B and B property. We would find a way through the trees and find a place suitable for us to sit down and we would eat our light lunch and just enjoy being outside. After we had our fill we would head back and dress for our time out in the town. Since Erik had money we had soon made our way into the 'rich circle' and we would see a play or dine out, or just stroll through the park.

At first Erik didn't like being outside so much, or being around people but he slowly got used to it, and people soon got used to seeing the two of us in the high society and Erik was always polite and never violent so people got used to him and his mask..

I had yet to see Erik without his mask on, but his face seemed to be hurting him more for his bathing time he would stay longer and longer. Out of respect I would never burst in there when I knew he had his mask off, but this time was different. He had already decided he didn't want to go out this afternoon and already had made plans for our meals to be sent to our room. After a lengthy time I tapped quietly on the door. "Erik, is everything alright?" I asked in concern.

"I'm fine!" Erik shouted through the door, surprising me. He hasn't raised his voice to me in a while and it hurt me to hear him talk to me like that.

Erik must have sensed that he hurt me, for after another minute or two he called out to me asking me to come see him. I knew he had his mask off for long ago he told me the only time he takes it off is when he is alone or when he is taking a bath.

Taking in a deep breath I slowly entered and saw him deep in the tub with a washcloth over his face. "What's wrong Erik?" I asked not knowing what to do with myself. I knew I would be okay with seeing his face, I knew it wouldn't be as bad as some movies had portrayed him to be and the 'Phantom of the Opera' movie with Robert England came to mind. Chad had rented it for me and as we watched it I ended up having to turn it off for it was awful. The story was that Erik would kill people for their skin and sew it back onto his face and body, it was just a huge gore fest movie. I knew there was no way it could be nearly as bad as that.

"I have been having sores spring up on my face. I've never been around someone so much, I'm used to taking my mask off when at home, but I'm never alone anymore, and my mask is to hard for my sensitive skin." Erik muttered, his mouth was just above the water's surface.

Knowing that it was basically me that was putting sores on his face I felt horrible. I didn't want him to be in pain. "Erik you need to take care of yourself and not worry how this is going to affect me. You have to remember I've seen some pretty messed up things from movies and pictures, I'm sure...I know things will be okay. You are not going to scare me." I said as I walked slowly over to the tub. I reached in the water to grab his hand and pulled it back out quickly, it was cold.

"Erik get out of that water right now, you'll get sick!" I said grabbing a nice dry towel to dry my hand.

"The cool water feels good on my face." Erik said and I could tell that he was very uncomfortable with our conversation.

It made sense, the cold would stop any swelling or make a rash feel better, if that's what he had on his face. Very slowly Erik reached up and pushed the washcloth up his face exposing his face slowly. His eyes were closed when he finally removed the cloth, he probably didn't want to see the expression of my face.

His face was no where near as bad as I've heard or seen it before. His nose was intact and whole, but it looked like it had been broken, as the bone was crooked, but I knew it hasn't been broken before. His skin was red and raw looking, but intact, no boils or open running sores. His eye was closed, but I could tell that when open it would droop slightly, just the bottom part of his lid though. He didn't have an eyebrow on that side, just the bone and it looked slightly higher than it should have. Around the edges where his mask would be though was raw. There was several sores a few of them looked like they had been bleeding.

With a sad sigh I grabbed a fresh wash cloth and dipped it into the water and slowly started dabbing his sores. I didn't want to rub them for I feared they would split open and bleed more. "I still love you." I whispered softly into his ear and I felt his hand reach up and grasp my wrist holding it in place as I tended to his face.

As he opened his eyes I knew he was searching my eyes for any fear or disgust, but none was there. I wasn't just saying that for his benefit, it was the truth. "Please don't wear your mask this much if I hurts you. I really don't want you to be in pain." I said softly holding onto his gaze. "You don't scare or frighten me. I don't like seeing you hurt." I dropped the washcloth into the tub having done everything I could.

Back in my time I was a Neosporin freak. I put it on everything, if I got a wart I would cut it open and put it on that, I put it on my lips, on pimples, everything and I desperately wished I had some now to put on the sores on his face. I know they would heal just fine in a few days with the ointment on.

Erik got out of the tub and wrapped a towel around his waist and reached for his mask. I grabbed it and held it behind my back. "Please Erik. Just don't put it on for the rest of the night, we are having dinner sent up, we can stay in all night and all day tomorrow, I just want you to heal." Tears were starting to prick my eyes knowing he was going to put it back on after I had cleaned the sores, getting them dirty and possibly infected.

Turning his back to me I wasn't sure if he was going to yell and shout at me again or just keep his back turned towards me, but I saw his shoulder's shake and I realized I was wrong on both accounts, he was crying.

Rushing over to him I placed my hand on his naked back turning him towards me so he was facing me and I saw tears rolling down his face. With a sob he bent down on his knees and pressed his face into my stomach and wrapped his arms around me pulling me even closer. I was so stunned by the tears that I didn't know what to do but put my hands on his shoulders, just holding him back.

"Having you love me has been so foreign to everything I have ever known. I have always wanted affection and someone to not recoil in fear as they look upon my naked face, and one time long ago I thought that might have happened, but in the end she couldn't stand it and left, but you? No, you stand by my side and comfort me when no one in my entire miserable life ever has. I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I swear I will work every day of the rest of my life to make sure you know how much I love you and how much I love the fact that you are you and just love me back."

Water still dripped from his hair that was slicked back and it slowly trickled down on my hands. Getting down on my knees I embraced him laying my head down on his shoulder and I could feel his hot tears soak into my dress. We knelt that way for a long time until we heard a quick tap at our door and I knew it was our dinner.

Moving my face off his shoulder I gave him a kiss on the lips and dried my own tears before standing and answering our door. I was handed a traveling table with two big bowls of hot stew and I set it down on our little table and waited for Erik to come out of the bathroom. When he emerged from the bathroom he was dressed in red silk shirt and bottoms, and no mask. He joined me at the table and turned his back slightly to me as he ate, and I touched his arm.

"Don't turn away from me Erik, really I'm fine." I said giving him a small smile to prove my point.

This whole encounter was so strange to me. I hardly ever see Erik this emotional, or so broken down. Already his sores were starting to heal, they just need some air to dry them out, hopefully they won't scar, I know he is already so worried about what I might think, I would hate for his face to scar even more making him more upset.

For the first half of our meal we ate in silence, I knew when he was ready he would start talking to me again, and finally his silence broke and we had comfortable talk and it was almost as if he had it back on for he was back to his normal self, the Erik that I fell in love with, the Erik that was so easy to talk to. It always made me so uncomfortable to not be talking to Erik, he was more than my husband, but he was my best friend and companion, the only one I had now that we weren't in the Opera House anymore.

I knew any chance of intimacy was off the table, at least for tonight, he was already uncomfortable enough, I could tell by his tense shoulders, so when we crawled into the cold sheets of our bed I grabbed the mask from the edge of the bed and put it on the nightstand. Rolling over I put my head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around my back, holding me close, but he was so tense. His body was as tight and stiff as a board of wood. I hoped that he would loosen up enough for him to sleep, and sleep comfortably, but I had doubts that a good night's sleep would come to him and I was determined to stay awake until his body loosened up and I put my cold toes against his warm legs trying to warm them slightly.

Shifting his body he rearranged his arm so he could rub and touch my hair and softly started to hum to me, lulling me to sleep and on the verge of sleep I felt him reach over me and touch his mask. He didn't put it on, but just touched that, and on that uneasy note I fell asleep and hoped that in the morning when I woke he won't have it on.

**Over a year...wow I suck! Life has been very busy for this author, but I'm back in the game, I don't have a job, nor Internet at my house so when both my kids are asleep it's the perfect time to write! If I promise to update more often don't thrash me! As usual, time for thanks: TheDearHunter for adding my story to the alert, LetsTwistAnotherFairyTale for adding my story to their favorites and the alert, AnimeOtakuBara for adding my story to their alerts and favorite story list, lapislazuliie for adding my story to their favorites, Sinario for adding my story to their alerts, Piratefan90 for adding my story to their favorite story list, Kali: thanks for the message and I'm sorry I made you wait so long, hopefully this chapter will put you back in my good graces, especially since they take off his mask!, Katara Melody Cullen for adding me to your favorite author's list. It's going to take me a while to respond back to reviews...and please review...because like I've said I don't have Internet at my house and I can't get on every day.**

**Desiree'**


	21. Being Followed

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Phantom of the Opera**

Chapter 21

When I woke up in the morning Erik hadn't put on the mask and I was thankful for that, but when I pushed myself up in bed he had his hand on the mask. I knew taking off his mask he would be uneasy and I figured his mask would almost be like a baby's blanket. A clutch they needed to touch constantly to feel at ease and comforted. If that's what he needed to feel at ease then who was I to take it away? Especially since he had used it for years, it's not like a baby where they will forget about it in a day or two, he's had this since life, it wasn't any of my business to take it away, not that I would.

It had taken longer than I had expected to heal the sores on his face, three days, and on the second day we had a visitor come to see if we were okay. We had apparently made friends with our trips to the theater and park. It was Rachael Rungstand. As soon as the tapping on the door rang through our room Erik tensed up and walked into our attached bathroom, as he did every time a knock rapped on our door.

Since it wasn't time for a meal I knew it wasn't Mademoiselle Kicknorter bringing up our meals as I had asked for her to bring us all our meals, the excuse was that Erik was sick. I was quite surprised to see Rachael standing there. "Oh hello Rachael." I said as politely as I could to mask my surprise.

"I hate to drop by like this, but I haven't seen you or Erik around and rumor was that he was sick so I thought I would bring you some wildflowers to give some color to your room and cheer both of you up. I figured you wouldn't leave his side and would need to see something bright and cheerful." Rachael said handing over a bright arrangement of flowers. They were very beautiful and I could already smell the sweetness of the flowers filling up our room. With a smile I reached out and took the flowers from her.

"That was very sweet of you Rachael. I know we haven't been out lately, and yes Erik is sick, which is why I would invite you in, but I would hate for you to catch what Erik has." I said with a polite smile, though there was nothing she could catch from him. "I know we will be out and about in a few days or so, and again I thank you for checking on us."

A slight frown came to her face which confused me, but she quietly stepped back and I closed the door, and Erik came out of the bathroom holding a vase full of water. I gave him a smile and dropped the flowers into the vase and set it down on a table near the door.

Erik crossed his arms. "I don't like that she just happened to show up with some lame excuse of checking on us, I know about her, she's always trying to get in with the rich people and snag her a rich husband though she's having an affair with the local farmer on the side." Erik said eying the flowers with dislike.

Rolling my eye's I just ignored Erik, he had been cranky since taking his mask off, and I was hoping that he would get back to his normal self, but three day's haven't had any difference. "Erik she was just being nice." Though I didn't mention the frown and slight hesitation of her leaving. Turning and looking at him I decided that we could go out tomorrow. His sores had scabs that were already starting to flatten out, a good sign. Holding out my arms he came willingly to me and I held him close. "You don't have to be so distrusting Erik, not everyone is out to get you, that's why we came here, to get away from all the...drama."

Shaking his head, "You don't understand Desiree', just because we left doesn't mean no one isn't thinking we came here. Raoul is very influential and I'm sure...no I know...Christine would have told him that I kidnapped her, and her daughter, he isn't going to take that lying down. He is very proud and would be furious that I could take her away from him again." When I didn't respond he grabbed my arms pulling me out of his embrace. "Listen to me. We can't just pretend that were safe, we constantly have to be on the lookout. I am a very wanted man, don't forget that, don't forget what I've done, what I could still do! I have that in my power." Erik roared at me.

Shock went through me, he was completely blowing this out of proportion. "Well if you really felt that way then why did we even start going out in the first place?" I yelled back at him. I hated being yelled at, especially for no reason.

"If we were stuck here all the time I knew you would get bored and leave me, I told you a month ago on the boat ride that I couldn't live without you, and I would do anything to keep you happy and with me, even if that meant putting us back in danger after all." He yelled right back at me.

I felt tears prick my eyes and my lip quiver. I never liked fighting so I turned on my heel and marched into the bathroom slamming the door closed behind me. I hated that he thought he was putting us both in danger just so we could go out and make friends. He was right in a sense, I wouldn't want to be kept locked up all the time, I would get cabin fever.

After a few moments my tears had dried up to sniffles and I heard Erik's soft knock at the door. "May I come in?" He said softly through the door. "Fine." I replied and he entered our bathroom. I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub drying my face when he knelt by my side. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you, I've just heard whispers, and it makes me nervous."

Wrinkling my brow, "How have you heard whispers, we haven't been out of our room in three days." I replied and he shifted uncomfortably.

Knowledge dawned on my face. "You've been sneaking out! No wonder it's taken longer than I thought for everything to heal!" I shouted at him. "If there was any danger of us being caught it's because you've been acting like you were at the Opera House." I shouted at him and he hung his head as if he knew I was correct. "Jeez Erik you might as well have just printed a sign to hang around your neck that says 'I'm the Opera Ghost." I said exasperated.

Taking a deep breath I knew me yelling at him wouldn't change anything, it's already been done. "So what have you heard?" I asked.

"Nothing that we can't take care of."

Narrowing my eye's at him, "And what does that mean exactly?" I asked.

"It means that there are people coming to drag us back and I have no intention of going back to be hanged, they would hang you too for just being with me." Erik said looking into my eyes to make me realize how serious he was.

I had no reason to doubt that Erik was lying to me, but how would he know this? Were we followed that night? If so why weren't we already captured and on a boat back? Did they have to get on another boat? A slower one?

"Well what are we going to do?" I asked my stomach turning over.

"I told you, I'm going to take care of it. I've seen people mulling around, following us in the shadows. There just waiting for the ship to come in, people are keeping tabs on us. Professional hit men that would capture us and hold us.

My stomach kept turning over and I knew I was going to throw up and I grabbed a bucket that was thankfully close by and threw up everything in my stomach feeling sweat break out all over me. Once I was finished I felt shaky and worse then I have felt in ages.

Shakily I slumped down onto the floor and pressed my left cheek into the cold floor feeling slightly slightly better. With a sigh I closed my eyes to try and gain some of my strength back. I hated feeling this weak and helpless and seconds later I felt Erik's strong arms pick me up and carry me slowly to our bed where he pulled placed me under the blankets and told me to stay put. I had no intention of going anywhere.

We would have to run again, I didn't want Erik to kill, not again. He hasn't killed anyone since Levi and I didn't want him to get back into that part of his life. I was hoping it was better now that he didn't have to hide all the time, or if he was seen, then kill them. That wasn't the life Erik needed to lead anymore. Would we ever get away from this? Would we have to keep running for the rest of our lives? Never get to settle down and relax and enjoy the life we have together? I was so looking forward to that part of our life. Growing old together. It looks like that's never going to happen and I felt a tear roll down my face at the disappointment that was washing over me.

I heard Erik wringing out a piece of cloth and he walked into our room and placed it on my forehead. It was a sweet gesture, but I felt like we needed to get up and leave. Now. Not tend to me.

Pushing the cold cloth off my forehead, I opened my eyes and looked at Erik. "Erik we..."

"Desiree' put that cloth back on your forehead." Erik said sternly and I put it back on my forehead, I didn't want to cross him at the moment, he looked furious so I put it back on my forehead slowly. "Anyways, Erik, I think we need to leave. Tonight. We can pack and leave, and go anywhere. We'll wait until it's dark and I know you can keep us safe from whoever is following us and we can loose them."

With a shake of his head, "No. I know what I'm doing, and I'm not running. Not again. I already had to leave the place I've been living for years, I feel like we've settled in here and running is not in my nature."

I burst into tears at that. I didn't want Erik to kill again. "Erik even if you do kill them it's not like it's going to be at the Opera House! How many people did you have to kill before they finally left you alone, oh and burn down the Opera House! No, I just can't live with you killing that many people again. Please don't make me live with the fact that you will have to keep killing just to keep us safe, and then you won't only have people over there looking for you, but over here too, we will just have to run again, I would rather us leave without anyone getting hurt or having to kill them." I wailed feeling my stomach turn over again.

Once more I closed my eyes and willed my stomach to stop turning over in that awful way. I slowly took deep breath's in through my nose and let them out of my mouth until I felt my stomach not turn in that uneasy way anymore. "Sick again?" Erik asked me and I nodded slightly, I didn't want to move this second and needed to just lay here a little longer.

"Please don't cry. I know this isn't the way things were supposed to go for us, but this is how my life is, and I know this affects you and you have no idea how sorry I am that I have brought you into this life as well, but I'm going to make my stand now. No more running for us. We are going to be together and our life will be better. I promise." Erik said softly.

I couldn't take it anymore on top of being nauseated and I felt myself slip into unconsciousness.

**Well I hope everyone liked this chapter, I felt they were getting too settled down and I needed to shake things up a bit! Time for thanks: Tiryn for adding my story to their favorites and following the story. And RedDeathLvr for adding my story to your favorites and following the story. I promised I would update soon, and I have, the next chapter should be up in about a week! Thank you to everyone who did review, I love reading all reviews, and if you have any ideas or found something that should be brought to my attention, please let me know about it!**

**Desiree'**


	22. Darkness

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Phantom of the Opera**

Chapter 22

Apparently it wasn't long that I had fainted...passed out...whatever you wanted to call it. Erik was still hovering over me, I could tell he was very upset and there was a woman I didn't know bending over me asking if I needed a glass of water. I shook my head with hopes of shaking all the fuzziness out of it. My vision was was perfect but there was almost a buzz going round in my head making it slightly hard to think.

"No, no, I'm fine. I just need some air." I said trying to push myself up on my elbows, but Erik was already there trying to push me back onto the bed...well I say try, he succeed, I had hardly had any strength to refuse him, but the woman, I assumed a nurse because Erik would be that worried, slapped his hand. "She need's air and you pushing her around won't help." She said in a fussy voice and my eye's opened in surprise, and I felt fear for her good health, but Erik took it in stride, bowed in forgiveness and then tried to help me back up. Giving him a grin I rubbed his hand softly, letting him know I was proud of him for not lashing out.

Sitting up in bed I took a deep breath feeling glad to be up, though I was slightly dizzy, so I closed my eyes to fend off the nausea that was threatening to come back to me. "She need's some air, will you help me walk her outside?" The nurse asked and Erik grabbed my up off the bed so quickly that the nausea came back full force, and I let out a groan and clung to his jacket with a death grip. "Gently sir!" My nurse shouted at him, and if I wasn't feeling so sick I might have laughed.

Slowly we walked out into the cool evening air. It was already starting to get dark and I felt goosebumps erupt on my arms and legs. Gently Erik set me down on my feet and I leaned against a near by tree already starting to get even more strength. "Could you bring me a sweater Erik? It's chilly out here." I said and he started back inside. I was still with the nurse and the conversation of someone following Erik hit me full force again and I opened my eye's wide and looked around quickly not feeling too safe without Erik right by my side.

Thankfully on my look I didn't see anyone out there, nor hear anything strange that I shouldn't hear so I let out a breath of air that I had been holding in to hear even better. "Can you walk?" The nurse asked and I nodded my head wondering if we should go back inside just in case. "Good, let's take a stroll, give your leg's some strength." She said and I frowned slightly. I didn't want to go anywhere without Erik there to protect me, but I didn't think there was anything out there to 'get me' so I nodded and started walking slowly with her and to my relief she started walking towards a small cafe down the block, there was always people there and there is always safety in numbers. I knew Erik wouldn't be to far behind, so that made me even less worried.

Maybe I was becoming too paranoid like Erik. I didn't want to constantly look over my shoulder and wonder if someone is after me, as long as I was with or around Erik, or he was close by I was safe.

That's when I felt a giant tug at my back, like someone had just stepped on the back of my dress yanking me back, and I stumbled and fell back on my ass and I wondered if my nurse tripped and stumbled on my gown, so I turned to see what happened and I saw a very tall, thin, creepy man holding the back of my dress in his filthy hands.

With a noise of disgust I tried to reach out and grab it and I was going to give him a piece of my mind, when I felt strong hands pulling me up off the ground, I knew those hands. It was Erik and he picked me up off the ground and walked towards the rude guy with his gloved hands in fists, and I wasn't going to stop him.

A loud bang filled my ears and I saw Erik fall down on his knees, then flat on his stomach. It happened so fast I didn't even have time to react. Turning around I saw another guy holding a pistol in his hand, and I let out a scream. Rushing over to Erik I grabbed his coat when my hands were ripped away from his body and lifted over someone's shoulder and I let out another scream and was dropped on the ground. Well more like thrown on the ground. I felt all the breath rush out of my lungs and as I was trying to catch my breath I felt myself once again be hoisted up into the air.

Was I really being kidnapped? And by who? I didn't even know the creepy thin guy, nor the guy holding the pistol that shot Erik. Tears stung my eye's. If Erik was dead, then what did they want from me? Or did they just know who Erik was and thought they would be able to handle him if he was wounded? Could he still be alive?

Even thinking he was dead made my heart give an uncomfortable squeeze that hurt more than my lungs as they tried to completely fill with oxygen. I tried to take slow breaths but every tiny gasp felt like my lungs were on fire, and I couldn't even struggle for I was to preoccupied with trying to breathe.

Finally my breath returned to me and I knew it would do no good screaming, I couldn't see anything except the close trees that were around us, but I could struggle. If he dropped me I would run like hell and try to get back to Erik. I had to know one way or another if he was alive or dead. I couldn't stand not knowing. I couldn't bare to be in this time without him. He was the only person I trusted. Well here in America. I trusted Pearl and Eleanor but they weren't here.

As soon as I started kicking my leg and beating my fists on his back he came to a stop. "Stop or I will shoot you." He said, but I continued to kick and thrash as much as I could, then I heard the click of a gun and my blood seemed to go cold at the sound which stilled my movements. As soon as I was still he continued on.

Once more tears came to my eye's. I couldn't just let him carry me off to my doom, or death, more likely death without a fight, but maybe if I just waited around I could escape easier than I could now. Plans started racing through my mind. I knew I had to escape, find Erik, and get out of here. I knew I wasn't being to rash when I wanted to get up and leave.

After what seemed hour's I could see the trees thinning out and light on the ground. Not natural light, so I knew we were just about to enter some type of house, and moment's later there was a door opened and I was dropped into a very warn down couch. Tear streaks stained my face, my hair was in disarray, and I was filthy and cold from being outside for so long.

The guy who was carrying me grabbed a pair of shackles off the table and clasped them over my wrists. I figured something like this would happen, so I was prepared and the second he got close enough to me I kneed him hard in the groins then shoved myself towards him, knocking him backwards. The second he started to fall, I ran towards the open door and made it halfway towards the thickness of the trees when I could hear someone tearing after me, so I picked up speed, but it was hard to run in this ridiculous fluffy dress with a train, plus my hand's were being held together with a bar in the middle, and he caught up to me faster than I wanted.

Seconds later I was knocked on the ground as someone ran into me full force. I tried to kick out once more and felt another set of hands on my holding me down on the ground and I was flipped over and then they were holding my nose and mouth closed, and I bucked and struggled as hard as I could and last thing I could hear was "Let her go, you'll kill her." Then...nothing.

Next time I opened my eye's I was still shackled together but had my feet and legs bound in rope, and after a moment I realized there was rope around my neck and as soon as I moved my head around to see more of my surroundings I felt the rope get tighter around my neck and I let out a chocking noise and the rope stopped and loosed slightly. Once more I burst into tears at the situation I was in. I had no idea what was going on, where I was and it frightened me.

"Don't even try thinking about escaping again girly." A voice whispered in my ear and I jerked away as disgust filled my whole body, and as I turned my head I saw Erik was there with me, though he was on the ground, instead of a chair, and he was also tied, but not moving, and I called out to him, but he didn't move.

"He's dead." The voice said again in my ear and I whipped around furious. "Then why did you bring him here? Why did you bring me here!" I shouted at him as rage filled my whole body. "We wanted to give you a chance to say your last goodbye." He said and I felt invisible bugs crawl over my skin where he touched me and I realized I was only in my slip. They must have taken my gown off when they tied me up.

Roughly he pulled me up off my chair and moved me over to a little ledge. "Just tell me...who are you and what you want." I whispered. I knew what was about to happen, but I wanted to know why. "Our boss was perfectly clear in what he wanted. So you think you husband can kidnap someone famous, and their famous child and get away with it?"

Raoul. Of course, he had sent someone after Erik. Fear replaced the fury that ran through my body and I looked at Erik's huddled body and tears ran down my face again. "I love you." I whispered and closed my eyes. I didn't want to face the death that was only moments away.

I felt a push at my back and my feet fly off the plank and I held my breath wondering if I would be in pain before I died and I felt myself falling through the air, like it was in slow motion and I waited for it all to be over. Knowing I was going to die I wanted to see the good things in my life once more and thought's of Erik went through my head, then thought's of Paige and Ruth, then Chad. At least I would get to watch over them that was my last comforting thought, when I felt my feet touch cold ground and hear glass shattering. Confusion ran through my head. I know there was rope around my neck and I was going to be hanged, what happened?

"What was that?" I heard in a voice I had almost forgotten, and I open my eye's to my dark brown and green bedroom.

"Amanda, what did you drop?" Chad asked in a sleep confused voice and I looked over at him and my jaw dropped. Was this another memory or was I really back in my own time with Chad only mere feet away from me in bed?

This was no memory.

**Dun dun duh! So yes, we are so close to the end, sadness I know, but all great thing's must come to an end. Please please let me know what you think about the story, I really hope it's not to confusing! Thank you to NikitaKServensky for adding my story to your favorite list and your story alert. Also a special thanks to PhantomFan01 for such a great idea, I'm glad I could work it into the story! I've had the idea for the end of this story for well over a year now and you have no idea how glad I am that I can put my idea into writing.**

**Desiree'**


	23. Anything is Possible

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Phantom of the Opera**

Chapter 23

I knew I was back in my own time, and not a minute had passed while I was with Erik. Looking down at my bare feet I realized that the crash had been caused from my Phantom of the Opera snow globe being dropped onto our hard wood floor. I didn't understand what was going on and I felt my breath rush in and out very quickly...I was so confused. So many emotions have been going through my body in the last few hours!

Very carefully I stepped back out of the water and glass shards. "Amanda what happened?" Chad asked as he sat up in bed. "Uh, uh." I said trying to clear my head. "I accidentally dropped my snow globe, I'll clean it up." I muttered, still confused, and Chad lay back down.

Even though it had been well over a year for me I still knew my way around my own house, and I turned and walked passed my short hallway into my bathroom and grabbed a towel where I started mopping up the water, glitter and glass that was all over my floor. Very carefully I picked up as much glass as I could see, but at the moment I had more important matter's to attend to.

Taking a deep breath I walked back into my bathroom and paused for a moment before I turned the light on. Was I going to look like I had before I was with Erik, or was I going to look like a more than a year had passed while I was with Erik? It seemed to take all my courage to flip the light on and I turned to the full length mirror and saw that I looked like I had when I was with Erik. My hair was so much longer, I was a lot thinner and I was still wearing my slip that I had died it. No wait, I didn't die. If I had died, I wouldn't be here. Maybe this was heaven though? Was I dead and I just didn't know it? Was that all I had to do? Die? If I had known that I would have let Erik kill me when I had gone to him in the first place, then I could have convinced myself it was just a dream...but I didn't really want that.

Carefully I pinched my cheek hard and tears sprang to my eyes. There wasn't any pain in heaven right? I had work that I needed to do. First off I grabbed a pair of scissors from Chad's bathroom drawer, but how did I have my hair? I couldn't remember exactly, but shorter than it was, so I started to cut until I was sure it was about the same, then I gathered the hair onto a towel and quietly took it outside and shook out all the hair, the wind would blow it away. Thankfully it was still very dark outside, and we lived in the middle of nowhere so I took off my slip and stuffed it under our porch, I would burn in after Chad had gone to work tomorrow.

There was no way I was going to let anyone know what I had gone though, I knew no one would believe me and I would be locked up, and after having given up that I would ever be back here I didn't want to be locked in an institution and be separated from Chad and Paige. I don't think I could give them up twice, but my heart did ache, I didn't want to be separated from Erik either and he was dead. The only way I had to him was my snow globe and it was now broken. Tears quietly ran down my face as I walked back into my quiet house and I grabbed a new pair of pajamas. What had I been wearing when I...left? It didn't matter, Erik had burned them long ago, so I figured Chad wouldn't know I had changed clothes in the night, he was a guy after all.

I had gotten rid of the clothes and tried to make my hair like it was before, but I knew there was nothing I could do about my weight loss. It seemed I had lost a lot of weight, but I couldn't be sure how much I weighed before. It just didn't seem right and I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep, so I walked back into the front room and just sat on the couch.

What was going on? Why had this happened to me? I just couldn't understand! With a deep breath I knew that I was going to go on like nothing had happened. I still loved Chad, but not as I had before I left, but time would change that, just like it had with Erik. I had to put Erik in the past though, move on and try to live like I have always done. As quietly as I could I checked on Paige again and once more tears sprang to my eye's as I looked at my beautiful daughter I knew I would never see again. Reaching out I pushed a piece of hair off her forehead knowing I would get to know her all over again.

Slowly I walked into my bedroom and sat down in bed to study Chad. The love was still there, but it was like the flame had been turned down so low it was barely burning, but just like Paige, I would get to know him and love him all over again. I finally laid down and tried to sleep but couldn't. There was so many thought's going through my mind I couldn't turn it off and tossed and turned for the rest of the night until Paige's soft cries alerted me that it was morning and moment's later Chad's alarm went off.

Before he got out of bed I warned him to be careful as I had not got all the glass up off the floor and I went to feed Paige and get back to what used to be my normal life.

It didn't take long for me to feel like I was returning to normal and get back into my normal, well what used to be normal, routine. It seemed the only one who could really tell a difference was Paige. At first she was somewhat standoffish around me, like she didn't know who I was, like she knew I had been separated from her for well over a year. Children are so aware of their surroundings, and I worked hard to earn her love and respect all over again, and it didn't take long for her to get attached to me as she once was.

As for Chad, he sensed no difference. It seemed strange to me at first, I was still in love with him, but I was more in love with Erik. It was almost like Chad and I were barely getting together, but I made an effort to love him like I had in the past, and every hour of every day I was with him the low flame was getting turned up, for Chad is my true love. Erik was my love, but not my true love.

Getting to love and know my family was not the only thing I had to work at though. I was used to doing things...well almost the hard way, I wasn't used to the things that everyone was used to anymore. The light was harsh and hurt my eye's. I had to remember how to do my hair, and put on makeup, even work the T.V. and even the DVD player was so foreign to me. The hardest thing for me to relearn however was cooking. I was a pretty good cook before, and it seemed to have left my mind entirely! Erik had done all the cooking, and the food's were so simple it wasn't hard to mess it up, but now with everything it seemed so strange. I had the freezer and it took time to thaw meat out and the stove, it was just hard for me to relearn everything I had once knew so well.

I was so used to being completely wrapped up into me and Erik that I had to remember I had friends and family that were used to hearing from me on a regular basis and to talk to them, it seemed so strange. I was used to having a conversation face to face, and over the phone seemed so cold and distant, but I would get used to it...eventually.

Things seemed to be very hard on my stomach though. It must be the complicated food for I was used to simple food, and with all the new choices I had, I was getting sick constantly, and headache's too, though I was used to that. With Erik, I didn't have contacts or glasses and suffered headache's almost daily, but the headache's I was getting now was so much worse than that, but now I had medicine to help. Even with my contact's in I was still getting headache's every day, and I couldn't understand why I was still getting the pain in my head.

After a week I knew I had to leave the house, for I had holed myself up trying to get my family back together, and my feelings the same, and I put Paige in the car and slowly took off to the store. Driving terrified me, but it was like riding a bike and I didn't forget for too long, I was a pro again before I got to town.

I could tell that I was almost like a new mom, letting Paige have whatever she wanted. It was like I was making up for being gone for over a year, and couldn't help but laugh as Paige grabbed things off the shelf and dropped them into the buggy. I just shrugged my shoulder's and let her have the item's she wanted, and when I had everything I needed, we checked out and headed home where she was fed and put down for her only nap.

As she slept I put everything away in it's proper place and discovered that Paige had added a package of ball point pens, a deck of playing cards, a pregnancy test, and a new box of Q-tips, and I couldn't help but laugh as we needed none of those things. As I was putting it away though I had a new thought that chilled my blood cold. Maybe I did need something after all.

While living with Erik I realized that I had been somewhat irregular but had managed just fine and realized that I should have started already and I practically ran to the bathroom. It didn't even need the two minutes for two blue lines to appear. I haven't been back long enough for Chad to have gotten me pregnant.

I must have been pregnant when I came back and hadn't realized it yet. What was I going to do! Panic started to take over. It all made sense now, the sickness, the headache's, I was even sick before I...came back home. Maybe the reason I had thrown up and passed out right before I was kidnapped wasn't because I was stressed out and worried, it was just my body telling me I was pregnant before I even knew it. I was pregnant with Erik's child!

All I wanted to do was get back to my normal life and go on like nothing happened, but now that wasn't possible. I just wanted to be the normal Amanda that I was before everything happened, be with Chad and love Paige. Did a pregnancy really change all that? Yes and no. If I was pregnant with Chad's baby it would be okay, but I knew there was no possible way that I was pregnant with Chad's baby, it could only be Erik's baby.

The only way I could continue being normal Amanda was to act like I was carrying Chad's baby and not Erik's. It didn't seem right to Erik, but there was no other way. It's not like I could just call Erik up and tell him, he was dead. He was dead a long time ago, way before I was even born. I knew what I had to do, even if it did feel dreadfully wrong to me, I had to endure the heartache and keep the secret forever. I was a good and faithful wife, Chad would never believe what happened to me and I couldn't loose him. I realized I did love him so much and if there was ever a hint that this baby wasn't Chad's he would leave me and I would be left with nothing and I couldn't have that.

When Chad came home from work I told him the good news and he was so happy. I had already made an appointment with my doctor for them to do another test and they would make my first appointment with my OB/GYN.

All of this uncertainty and confusion of why I was transported though time, then my time with Erik and having to watch him die, well maybe being pregnant with his child was the only way I could really always have a part of Erik with me, for I would raise his child and a part of Erik would always be with me, so I could still love Chad but now I could love Erik too.

My life wasn't always as easy as it was before, for I had a hard pregnancy. Chad was so thrilled at the new's and we found out we were going to have a boy. Of course deep down I was terrified that this baby would have the same traits as his father, that his face would be disfigured. The ultra sound showed that our boy was healthy, but I was nervous still. The hardness came from our boy wanting to come early. I had gone into labor two month's early and was rushed to the hospital when they barely stopped my labor, but I was almost to a point of not stopping it, so they decided to keep me in the hospital for at least a month.

Finally I was able to go home, and three day's later I went into labor again, so once more I was rushed to the hospital and at that point I was to far in labor I was going to have him. I was already worried enough that our boy was going to be disfigured now I was scared that he would be disfigured and with him being born a month early have complications, but a few hour's later our boy was born and I got one look at his face and was relived, he had a perfect round and chubby face, just as a baby should, but his lung's were just a tad underdeveloped.

Chad and I decided to name him Caden, and besides his lung's was very healthy. Both Chad and I agreed that Caden looked just like me and I was so relieved, for if he looked nothing like me, then I knew he would look like Erik, and that would be terrible.

After a week in the hospital we were able to go home and Chad, Paige, Caden and myself lived as happily as we could. I never did tell a soul about what happened to me, and since Caden looked just like me, no one ever suspected that Caden didn't belong to Chad in blood.

Though it wasn't fair to Chad, I was happy because I had Chad and a part of Erik to love and keep me happy for the rest of my life, and I was content with that.

**Well it's taken a few years, but that's the story. I have really enjoyed writing it and getting everything out there to the public. I'm so glad I finished this story and didn't let it die, it just didn't seem right and now that I'm back in the groove of writing, I plan on continuing with another one of my stories that I have started and left hanging while I had writers block. Normally I thank the people who have my story on favorites and such, but since this is the last chapter I wanted to thank the people who have stuck with me and reviewed most of my chapters. Musicalroza999, Cinnamon Selkie, Kellansladykatie11, RedDeathLvr, thank you all so much for sticking with me and giving my story life, and to all of my readers, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have continued and finished my story. Thank you all so much!**

**Desiree'**


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